The Resolution

The Resolution

The sun sank slowly in the west Texas sky, painting a delightful panorama of pink hues through the cacti and chaparral lying beneath the Guadalupe mountains. The shadows of the weathered peaks stretched far into the desert, dancing for an audience of coyotes and tumbleweeds. All of this beauty went completely unnoticed by Matthew, who remained seated on a boulder gently rubbing a swollen ankle.

The dazzling display of the desert sunset inspired more frustration than awe. He was running out of time, and darkness would certainly slow him down. Not to mention the frigid night air that would follow.

The crunching of leaves and clicking of cascading pebbles alerted him to a fellow hiker descending the trail ahead. Matt looked up to see a bearded man hauling his pack down the mountain, heading towards camp.

“You okay?” the man asked, noticing Matt was nursing his foot.

“Oh, this? It’s nothing really, just rolled my ankle on a rock a while back.”

The man knew when someone was downplaying an injury, and Matt was clearly hiding the severity. “Mind if I take a look? I have some experience with first aid.”

Matt reluctantly obliged, and proceeded to roll up his pant leg and remove his left boot.

“Good lord…” the man exclaimed. “That’s a hell of a sprain! It’s a good thing I found you when I did, I’m probably the last hiker coming down the mountain today. Come on, I can help you get down to the ranger station.”

“I’m not going down. At least not yet.” Matt said, relacing his boot.

“Well you can’t stay here, the terrain is too jagged to set up camp.”

“I’m not setting up camp. I’m getting to the summit come hell or high water.”

The man was dumbfounded. “It’s already five thirty, in another half hour the sun will be well below the horizon. It’s five miles of steep climbs and switchbacks to the top. This trail is challenging enough in the daytime, but adding darkness and frigid gale force winds make it near impossible! Not to mention your bum leg...”

Matt knew the man was right, but he couldn’t afford to acknowledge it. “You’ve done your duty by warning me. Now, have you chastised me enough to clear your conscience, or do you intend to waste more of my time?”

The man was too surprised to be angered by such a brash response. It was clear that the young man had chosen his path and would not easily waver, no matter how bleak the circumstances became. He stood in silence as Matt returned to his feet and began limping up the trail.

“It appears,” the man said, “that you will continue up this mountain or die trying. Since it appears the latter is far more likely, I suppose I might as well accompany you.”

“Thanks, but I don’t need anyone to look after me.” Matt winced as he hobbled along, each step inducing a jolt of searing pain.

“It’s not you I’m worried about. It’s the search and rescue teams that have to risk life and limb to find your stubborn corpse.”

Once again, Matt knew the man was right. He wanted to snap back with a witty retort, but the pain in his ankle dominated all thoughts. He limped along, cursing under his breath with every step.

The two had hiked barely twenty yards before Matt needed another rest. The cool evening breeze had already started descending the mountain, but the pain and stress left Matt with beads of sweat.

The other hiker hoped Matt was reaching his breaking point. “Ya know son, this mountain isn’t going anywhere. It’ll be here after your ankle heals.”

“You don’t understand. I have to reach the top tonight.”

“You’re right, I don’t understand. What happens if you don’t?”

“Then my entire year is wasted!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“This year was supposed to be a turning point for me. It was supposed to be the year that everything came together. On January 1st, I had a list of resolutions. I was going to get a promotion, propose to my girlfriend, adopt a dog, see the Eiffel tower, and hike the tallest mountain in Texas. 

“Around March, everything went to hell. I was one of the first people my company laid off when the lockdown started. After a lengthy period of unemployment, I had to accept what work I could find making far less than my previous job. This didn’t sit well with my girlfriend, who found comfort in the arms of her ex-boyfriend. When she finally gave up on me, she took our beloved labradoodle with her. I would have loved to escape it all with a nice European vacation, but there’s no way I could afford it now, even if there wasn’t a lockdown.

“So here we are, six hours away from the new year and zero resolutions fulfilled. If I’m not on the top of this mountain by the time my watch beeps midnight, I’ll have to acknowledge that I let another year pass me by. The thought of that hurts far worse than my sprained ankle ever could.”

The man sat in silence, not knowing how to respond to such an outpour. He still believed Matt was a fool, but at least now he could sympathize with him a little more. Matt watched as the man stood up, took a deep breath, and walked down the trail, taking no time to look back. The initial relief of being free from his judgemental stare was fleeting, being replaced by the realization that he no longer had someone looking after him as he struggled up the darkening desert slope. Alone.

Matt pressed onward, stumbling and grunting up the gravel path. The sun was well below the horizon now, and the remaining light revealed a line of clouds blanketing the sky. The starlight that Matt had hoped for would not be coming after all. When the trail became too dark, he pulled out his flashlight, only to find it wouldn’t turn on. His frantic, shivering hands unscrewed the head, revealing the powdery white dust of a leaked battery. 

The reality of his situation hit him. Even if he wanted to give up and descend the mountain, he had no way to see the trail. There was no flat ground to set up a tent, and if there was, he had ditched his pack an hour ago to save weight. The steep, rocky face offered little vegetation to shelter him from the brutal winter winds.

He decided it would be safer to proceed on all fours, feeling his way uphill to avoid another nasty fall. The jagged rocks and pebbles were hell on his palms, but it couldn’t compare to the pain his ankle had given him. He continued this way for nearly half a mile, with every yard tearing into his tender palms and knees.

When Matt finally stopped to rest, he saw a flickering light ascending the trail behind him. Before long he was looking at the familiar face of the man who left him earlier, holding a flashlight and large stick.

“Lucky for your, not even the snakes or mountain lions would be dumb enough to crawl around in these conditions.”

The man helped Matt up, noticing his bloody palms and tattered pants. “I went back to find a stick for you, maybe you can use it as a crutch.” He gave Matt a swig of his water and a couple ibuprofen from his first aid kit. With a smile, he gestured toward the path ahead. “Shall we?”

The two proceeded up the mountain in silence, Matt leading the way with the man close behind, keeping careful watch on the ragged hiker. The improvised crutch seemed to work for a while, and was certainly preferable to the low crawl. 

Exhaustion began to set in, and remaining upright became increasingly difficult for Matt. Breaks were taking longer and becoming more frequent. The peak was close, but so was midnight. The two knew they would never make it in time at their current pace.

“We have twenty minutes left. The only way you’re going to make it up there in time is if I carry you.”

Matt could see the man wasn’t joking. He looked ahead at the series of switchbacks ascending what remained of the mountain trail. Under normal circumstances, it would take under ten minutes. Based on the progress they’ve been making, it could take over an hour. He looked back at the man and gave a slight nod.

The man gave Matt his flashlight and hoisted him onto his shoulders. Despite the exhaustion of hiking late into the cold, dark night, the two made quick progress, slicing through switchbacks and cutting their way to the peak.

Finally, against all odds and better judgement, the two reached the summit of Guadalupe peak. The man carefully set Matt down on a boulder by the plaque before taking a seat himself. The two sat in silence, desperately catching their breaths after the great ordeal. The wind was stronger than ever, so much so they almost didn’t hear the alarm on Matt’s watch.

“Happy new year” he muttered, with labored breath. 

“How’s it feel?” the man asked. “Is it what you expected?”

“I… I guess… I guess not, to be honest.”

“Exactly. That’s the problem with ‘resolutions’ and ‘bucket lists.’ You get so wrapped up in putting checks in boxes that you forget to actually live your life. You had an entire year filled with great moments - phone calls with family, warm meals, good playlists, car rides on Sunday afternoons. Rather than focusing on those, you chose to obsess on an arbitrary list of supposed failures, hoping that completing it would give your life meaning. And here you are, on the top of a beautiful mountain, not for the view, not for the exercise, but so you can go back home and tell people you did it.”

The two sat in silence for a while longer. They knew they couldn’t pass the night on the exposed peak, so they hobbled down to a grove of junipers and small oaks to take shelter from the wind.

Matt awoke to the song of a blue jay, whose brilliant plume radiated in the early morning light. Matt watched him dance from branch to branch, not sure what to make of the two humans near his nest. Matt sat as still as he could, not wanting to disturb the delightful bird. It was the most ordinary bird Matt had ever seen, and he had never been happier.