Simone says

I thought Simone would propose yesterday, bit was a complete fail. I’ve been waiting for and anticipating this for a while now, but maybe she knows me too well to where she’s forced to crush hopes and sweep me off of my feet when I least expect it. We didn’t actually believe in the westernized concept of marriage but agreed that we would want a special day dedicated to our love, just for us. Something more private than pride, but more open than an exclusive anniversary. To be honest, it’s like we’re making excuses just to celebrate how happy we are together, and I’m not mad at that at all.

She just couldn’t let me figure it out, but when she saw how frustrated and restless I was getting, I think I finally cracked her stubborn exterior, making her clear our schedules for today. She still wouldn’t entertain my curiosity or cave when I glared at her as we both got ready, but when a one-sided quarrel began, she casually answered only one of my questions, which was just a jumbled melody of “why”s.

“Because I said so,” after that quick remark, and five more minutes of grumpily applying makeup for wherever she was taking me, we had finally started walking together hand in hand, making our way to our local garden and steady walking further and further from the usual families to avoid glares. We wouldn’t let anyone rain on our parade, but I hope it doesn’t literally rain either. I spent more than twenty minutes perfecting the curls of my afro, and it better not get ruined. I worked hard on this style, and the sky was starting to darken. I think Simone noticed my nervousness and quickly pulled me over to the spot she had set up. I’ve been so focused on figuring out what she was doing and planning, I forgot to focus on what exactly she was doing and planning. A large, black umbrella was set in the center of a yellow and white picnic blanket, having two black, fluffy cushions on either side of the umbrella pole. These were all of my favorite colors. She even made sure to pack jackets and ponchos just in case. Oh my gosh, today was the day. I mean, I knew that, but I was actually right this time. It’s going to happen. With that realization, my fingers started to feel as if they filled with tv static. At first, I was filled with a restless excitement, but now it just felt like a terrifying wave of dread. What if our families try to force a wedding on us? They already disapprove of this relationship, so they might try to guilt-trip us into giving up control. I know we wouldn’t give in, but what would that do to us? Would it spoil our want to cherish it all?

“Sunflower∼,” she held out the end of an old pet name, gently holding my chin to get my attention, helping me shake off the newfound anxiety in my body. I act like I hate her teasing, but we both know it always brings me peace. I don’t know what I’d do without her. I’ll never admit that though. I guess we’re both stubborn in our own ways. 

“Yes?” the static in my fingers spread as she got on one knee. It was already happening?! I just froze in front of her, twisting small parts of my hair in my hands. I have never felt so high before, it was like I was floating when she asked me the question. I felt like I could barely hear her. It was as if I was floating away from myself. I’ve dissociated before, but this sensation was completely different, peaceful and gentle. It was like our love for each other covered us up, protected us from everything that went against it. As warm and delightful as our embraces.

“I know you already are, but will you be my forever?” I couldn’t even speak, couldn’t breathe. All I could do was cry as she held out a silver ring with a small sunflower on it. Of course, I said yes, well I just nodded my head eagerly, and that provided some relief from the anxiousness in my body. But, of course, Simone had to be Simone and tease me. I wouldn’t have it any other way though. She was my forever and I was hers, regardless of what anybody else wanted or said. 

“You should give a proper yes, you know...” her voice trailed off into my hair as we hugged. At this point, I was a sobbing mess, and we didn’t even make it to the blanket to enjoy the occasion since the sky decided to sob with me.

“Why?” I was choking on sobs when thunder began to rumble through the sky, and we decided to hold off the conversation as we packed up.

She had never got to answer my question if she was planning to anyway. We ended up having to run back home, looking like a pair of hysterical, shivering fools. Turns out the umbrella she brought had a larger-than-life hole in the center, and the weak patchwork couldn’t bear the rough attack of the rain. So much for the nice afro, maybe another day. After showering, and getting into our comfiest attire, we decided to lay with each other in bed, binging our favorite detective show, but being too giddy to focus on anything but each other’s eyes. She softly stroked my hair, half asleep.

“Because I said so,” she slurred the phrase out into our pillows, about to doze off. I just tilted my head, a bit too drowsy to verbalize my confusion.

“You asked why earlier and that’s the answer,” I playfully poked her shoulder, quite done with her teasing. Really, I could never get tired of it.

“Whatever you say, Simone,” she was already asleep once I had decided to answer back, and soon, I joined her. Safe and sound in each other’s arms.