When I saw them on that first of January

“When I saw them smiling like that on that first of January, our first New Year together, with their face all painted and the most amazing laugh I have ever heard, just made my heart understand something stupidly obvious, that I am now unable to deny.”

I read his paper without permission, his fault for leaving it all wide in the open, he’ll still get mad though. . . So, who is he talking about? On New Year’s Eve, we all went to the beach together. . . and last year he went with his friends so they are out, then there was me and Mayson with our faces with paint, but he was too grumpy to be laughing, is he talking about me? I don’t know, but I’m almost certain, because Mayson did not laugh, or did he? Maybe when I was wasted he did. . . I just hope he is talking about me. I could be just getting my hopes up for nothing, probably he doesn’t mean something special with this. . .

“What are you doing” I did not notice him coming, now I am screwed, I will put his paper carefully on his desk again. . . “Did you read it?”

“You don’t have to snatch it out from me” He does look mad, still, I want to know. “Who are you talking about? And. . . What did you understand?”

“None of your business.”

“Come on, I want to know” I truly do, I am practically dying to know, this is too convenient for me, that is why I want to know so that I can separate fantasy from reality. “Tell me, I won’t tell anyone” We can date in secret if it is what I am thinking of. . . Too good to be true. . . I want him to tell me. “Wait” He took my paper, no no no no no

“I liked how the sunrise looked,”

He is reading it out loud? For real? “Give it back” I can’t reach it.

“I have never seen it on the beach before, it was quite perfect,” Just stop reading it, please. “though there was something missing,”

If he keeps going he will know something is going on, he is clever he will be able to figure it out. I’m done for. “Stop, please”

“something done with the one you love. . .” He is still reading it, at least not out loud, though he practically already said the embarrassing part, he needs to stop reading it. I grabbed it, yes. “The first time you saw the sunrise at the beach was at New Year’s Eve, do you like one us?” Crap.

“No no, I just meant that there is, well, something you do with someone you love not that-”

“Just celebrating it with them was quite special.” He finished reading eat. . . I should have write about something else. “You like one of us. Don’t you?”

“No, no, it is not like that, I meant celebrating it with all of you was quite special, you know? I said Them” Almost put Him instead.

“You meant you celebrated it with the person you love. You just used that word to hide who is the person you are talking about.”

True, I actually didn’t want the whole class to know I like a guy. “No, that is not true”

“Yes it is.”

It is, though I won’t tell you that, not right now, not now that I read your answer. Wait, he also did that. “Well you did it too, didn’t you? You also used that word for the same reason.”

“No.” So calm and serious while answering, almost makes me think he is saying the truth.

“Then why did you used it for?”

“Just because”

Did his voice tremble? I think it did, yeah, for sure it did. “That is not an answer, you are just trying to hide it, I know,” Is he backing off? “you don’t usually get nervous”

“It is just cold”

“We are still in summer”

“The AC is too low”

Well, yes it is. . . “Just tell me what you meant. . . with you heart-”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t want to share it; you weren’t meant to read it.”

“What? I mean, you would have to hang it on the board, like everyone else”

“I was going to hang it really high.” Screw my height. “How were you going to hide yours then? You did not want me to read it either.”

I did want you to read, but I didn’t think you would write something like that, I was going to confess anyways, but you are making me really curious. “I will tell you if you tell me first.”

“No.”

Oh, come on. “I asked first”

“Still no.”

If he keeps on going like that. . . Should I just pretend that I am leaving so he will tell me? Will it work? “Then whatever, I don’t care” Please work.

“Wait,” he grabbed my arm. . . crap, I am too excited. “I’ll tell what I meant if you tell me what is the thing you do with the one you love on the 1st of January”

That? He wants me to tell him that? The most embarrassing part. . . the second most embarrassing part. . . It is a good deal though; I am not telling him I am in love with him. “Kiss”

“What? I couldn’t hear you”

Did I say it that low? “Kiss”

“What?”

“You could hear, now tell me” He is just teasing me.

“I understood that I am in love with someone”

Me? Wait, am I blushing? I hope I’m not. “Who?”

“I will tell you if you tell me who is them”

Are you kidding me? Of course, he wasn’t going to give me his full answer. “That is not fair”

“Seems fair to me”

How so? I did ask first, and just confessing out of the blue, with some of our classmates in the room. . . they are leaving, is this destiny telling me to confess? No, I won’t lose to him. “No, I won’t say it”

“Why?”

Well, because there are some guts someone needs to have to say his feelings out loud. “I don’t want to”

“Just say it and I will tell you my answer right away”

Easy for you, I am the one who goes first. “No”

“Fine”

That’s it? He is going back just like that? Is he surrendering so quickly? Should I have told him? Maybe I won’t get another chance. . . If it is like that then, maybe, I should do it. “Tan-”

“Here”

Huh? “What is this piece of paper for?”

“Write it. I’ll write it too. Fair?” More like too good to be true. . .

“O-kay” Alright mm I will write it then. Wait, what gives me the certainty he will actually write his answer? More importantly, what if he won’t write what I think he will? What makes me so sure it is truly me he was writing about. . . I will just fold the paper a lot of times, it may give me time to run if his answer is not what I think.

“Did you finish?” Yes, beautifully folde- He fold it too?! Maybe he wants to escape as well, that is not like him though. Oh, I know, he is nervous, he looks really cute like that. “Okay then, here, give me yours. . .” Did he laugh? Am I, maybe, smiling at him like an idiot? Ahh, what am I doing? I need to keep it together right now. “When we open this paper we will read it out loud”

“Y-eah, oo-kay” Okay, calm down, my hands are trembling too much to unfold this quickly, is he having the same problem? Embarrassing, our eyes just met, I am blushing for sure, and he must have realized it for sure. Calm down me. Oh, he is blushing? Never seen him like that. . . oh, I finsh- “You”

“You”