To Fall Prey to the Unknown

The moment the idea came into my head, it was bigger than my own brain could comprehend. I was not sure what feelings or emotions I would allow myself to feel. I was not certain how I would be able to compute the things that were becoming my train of thought.

I was new to this pattern of all that mattered and yet somehow I was not too concerned except that as I was thinking and putting all into a certain order, it was obvious that I was well aware of what may or may not happen.

I was at an age that even if they were actual words of reality or more so like something I imagined that it would catch up with me and cause me to go insane or maybe slightly lose my mind.

I looked around the room with anticipation, and also in fear at what I could see, but also what I could not see. It was the unknown that made me weary and made me wish I could fall asleep again and rewake up with a different outcome.

I closed my eyes, setting them on one focal point and realized that I would not go to sleep without some help, so I focused more on what would put me to sleep otherwise. I began to fall deeply into a sleep state and was then thrown to and fro, as if on a ship rocking in a bad storm.

I opened my eyes and noticed all the things I saw, all the things I felt and were then aware I was no longer where I had been before, I was somewhere else all together.

I was in a subconscious state of mind set, was as much a part of the place I had chosen to be and felt like I was actually there, like in a movie. I was looking for a camera, for some sort of device that would give me a sense being only in a movie. None was seen or found.

I stood up and was flung forward as I tried to stable myself, when a huge crashing wave hit the ship and made that moment seem impossible. I was looking for the crew or other signs of life and noticed none. I assumed I was alone on board. I began to feel terror and then saw something that made me scared as I knew what I was seeing.

The largest sea creature was trying to devour not only this ship but also devour me as well, like I was only a small part of its new meal, flinging its arms and screaming loudly. I saw a whaling harpoon and ran straight towards it, trying to miss the arms that would be instant death.

As I neared the harpoon, I was greeted with a blank face that only seemed like a face but was shapeless. It was becoming more apparent it was nothing more than my imagination, with much relief I begin to fade back into the place I had first tried to fall asleep at.

I was then woke up by an attendant, who issued me my meds, and in the mix of pills, were two that resembled a blue one and a red one. I smiled shyly, ingesting all my meds including the two extra ones and before they left, had fallen asleep once more.

I know that sometimes its best not want help to fall asleep, but this was one of those times I was not going to argue and cause a mess, for my dreams or more so nightmares, brought with them some form of relief and calmness.

I begun to fall deeply once more into my sleep as I looked around and saw that I was no longer confined nor restricted about where I could go or be at, neither was I prevented to leave from my room. No one was stopping me. I was beginning to believe I was able to go out into the real world as before.

Then the place began to changed and twisting it became more horrid than it had been before. It was not a place more than a void of black darkness and fear was only companion. Fear grabbed me and was willing to choke the life out of me, but then was told to only guide me not to kill me.

I was joined with all the most evil and lowest of negativity, giving me nothing but lies and deception to hold onto. It was then that this dream or more so nightmare would lead me to a place that I had only gone to before, when I sedated and had to wait out the meds wearing off.

I struggled with fear and it pulled harder. tightening its grip to then make my wrist go pale and white. I was then greeted by indecision and depression, who both had neither love nor joy to make them go away. Hate and anger surfaced and they too were so set on making me feel bad that they lost sight of their own tasks.

I walked with fear, not sure what would appear before me. I entered into a room, filled with a vile, putrid odor, as though death had been there. I looked to see several blank faces starring at me, but was uncertain as to what they truly thought of me. Then it was a demonic force that cause me to shrink backwards, only to be met again by this presence that had caused me to fall off the path I walked.

All the time fear was right by my side, with no concern for my own well being nor worried about anything except its own selfish desires. Fear was met by doubt and then the demonic force grew to a larger form and towered over me. It had that loud annoying laugh that made it seem larger, but it hovered over me like a mirage. I was trying to prepare for my demise, when then all that was happening disappeared.

I awoke to some sunlight, that had peaked into my room, and I was back in reality. I was sad that I never saw that nightmare to the finish, yet was relieved it was only a nightmare.

I then felt a hand on my shoulder, looking up to see a familiar face, and fell asleep once more. I pulled the covers up to my neck and dozed off to another day and another dream or nightmare, whichever may come first to greet me.