Long Time Gone

I walked into the drizzling rain, the light pitter-patter making my hair damp. Mom had called me crazy for thinking that Noah could come back, she said I needed something called "closure." She had tried to get me a therapist in the past, but it had never worked. I knew Noah came back, he always did, unless that tea raised itself.

I stepped into the wet mud, hearing the slow squish underneath my old, torn up sneakers.

"Noah? Hello?" A slight howl screams from up above as a slight chill pulled me into the trees clearing. I saw the faint outline of his undead body sifting through the air. My face lifted into a smile, I missed Noah, I only came once a week.

Noah was my 7 year old brother, he passed from a heart condition. One day it was working, and the next... It stopped. It's crazy how Noah was laughing, building blocks, telling me all these crazy stories about dinosaurs, and the next hooked up to IVs and cords, almost lifeless. Then not almost, he was, he was lifeless.

I pulled the crushed saltine crackers out from my tattered, fading blue windbreaker. A sad face stretched across my mouth, I didn't mean to crush them, I guess only a few were though.

I held out my hand to show him, although he didn't look disappointed. I placed the okay looking crackers onto the tree stump which we had converted into a picnic table. I had placed a picnic cloth over the stump, but now because of the drizzling rain, it had become very wet over time.

"Alana did you bring the tea?" I heard the wispy voice and laugh following soon after. It sounded as though he was running out of air. I felt kind of dumb now.

I shook my head.

"I thought we could just enjoy some snacks, although that might have been smart due to this rain." Right on cue, we both looked up at the sky and stuck out our tongues. We knew that it wasn't tradition to do that for rain, but water tastes better than the snow, if you don't count the pollution.

I slid onto the ground, feeling the watery grass seep into the jeans on my knees. I sat onto the grass, now most of the parts of my jeans were getting wet. I sat out everything onto the stump; saltine crackers, little hard candies, a packet of baby carrots, and some juice boxes.

"I guess these replace the tea." I said, holding up the juice and shrugging, I heard that wispy laugh again as he took the juice box from me, and slid it across the stump.

We just spent around half an hour talking as we heard the pretty birds sing. The humming birds had come out because the rain had stopped and the sun was going down, as it brightly shone upon the rainbow which had appeared.

I heard a stick crack in the distance, and we both froze. I didn't think anyone was out here for miles. It might have just been an animal but we still got jumpy. Noah was starting to drift away with my vision.

I shook my head really quickly to try and stay awake. I didn't know that I was tired, I hadn't had felt like that earlier. When I blinked my eyes I looked back up at Noah. I didn't see anything.

I rubbed my eyes, they felt droopy. When I looked up, I still didn't see anything. Noah was gone. He left. That stick had spooked a ghost, I didn't know ghosts could get spooked.

I heard someone behind me, the sun had gone down at this point, it was getting dark. Sticks cracked. The grass munched. The mud squished. I turned around slowly, scared of my fate.

I saw my Mom. Her eyes were filling up with tears. I saw the worry in her eyes, I guess without seeing Noah, I could look totally crazy. The juice box and some half eaten carrots were still on the other side of the stump.

"It's not how it looks, I mean Noah was here, you just can't see him now. You scared him with cracking the sticks... Noah was here, Noah was here... You know when you say something so many times it starts to sound weird?"

Her tears had well traveled down her cheeks, and she raced to hug my head. I felt suffocated, I hated those kinds of hugs. I tried to rummage out, but she had a tight grip. I kept replaying the word that she had said to me in my head.

Closure. I didn't need that. I knew Noah was there, I saw him once a week. I'm not crazy!

"Alana, we need to move on together, why did you come here? I worry about you sometimes. Don't stay out past dark." Her fingertips were pointed up at the star lit sky to prove her point. I rolled my eyes inside of her hug.

"Alana, Noah isn't here anymore, Noah is gone." Tears dribbled down my face looking for a place to land. I didn't believe her, it just wasn't true, I tried to show her. I pointed to the half-eaten carrots, but I'm sure she just thought that I ate them and put them there.

"Alana, I think you need to see Dr. Netril." Dr. Netril was the psychologist my Mom was always trying to get me to go to.

"I don't need a doctor. He was here, I don't care if you don't believe me, because I saw him. He ate the carrots, he drank the juice, we talked." I remembered the feeling of seeing him, of hearing his wispy voice through the light wind.

"You have to let go." The wind picked up, the howls screamed. My hair was blowing all over, the wetness in my pants became ever colder. I tried to stand but my legs were too weak.

I grabbed onto the stump for balance, but ended up just grabbing onto the crackers, breaking them even more. I heard the crunch under my fingertips. Mom made me sit back down, squishing into more wet mud. Tears started gushing down my face.

"Closure." I remembered that word jostling around in my head, I guess I could see the doctor. I thought about my fingers losing the intertwine with Noah in the farthest space. I guess it was time to let go.