Rule of Three

Somewhere Boring, USA. mid-April.

“Like people say, karma’s a witch,” said Leah.

Max was pretty sure that wasn’t exactly what people say, but didn’t interrupt.

“Look, if those girls hadn’t been taunting you for being non-binary, they would’ve seen the golf cart coming towards them. Don’t you dare feel bad for them.” Leah was a good friend. A loyal friend. “Besides, it’s not like they’re dead, just a little banged up. I would have done worse to them if I’d been there.” 

“Yeah, I don’t feel guilty, just…” Max’s brain caught up to the conversation and briefly savored the image of Leah kicking some virtuous ass in their name. “I think it’s weird that these things always happen when my dad’s around. Have you ever noticed that?”

“What, like he’s putting a curse on them or something? It’s just a coincidence he was picking you up from school when the harpies descended. Anyway, isn’t that more your magick Mom’s style?” asked Leah.

“Oh, no. Mom’s always going on about the Wiccan Rule of Three, whatever you put out into the universe comes back to you threefold. She’d never curse someone because then she’d get it worse.” Max felt like they were on the verge of a discovery. “Ok, remember when Mr. Herbert suddenly developed laryngitis when he misgendered me during Back-To-School night?”

“Yeah,” Leah was still skeptical. 

“And when that guy on a moped tried to steal my mom’s purse when we went to Italy and ended up with a broken tailbone?” 

“But your parents are like, scary nice. Your dad called an ambulance for the thief, your mom made homemade cough drops for Mr. Herbert, and they gave those girls a ride to the hospital. They’d never wish anything but sunshine and rainbows for even their worst enemies.”

“You’re right.” Max still felt unresolved, but their suspicions seemed silly against Leah’s logic.

“Anyway, talking about Italy reminds me, I want to hear about your next vacation. You are so lucky your family gets to travel so much.”

“Easter Island, but the locals call it Rapa Nui, it’s this little island in the middle of the ocean. I’m actually really excited about it.”

“The one with the big heads? That is so cool! I wish you could take me with you.” 

“I could ask my parents, I mean, we’ll both be sixteen, we could explore the island while Mom and Dad are working.” Max couldn’t believe they hadn’t thought of this first. Their parents weren’t bad, but a trip with Leah would be the adventure of a lifetime.

Easter Island. August.

“Your Uncle Gavin is super suspicious,” Leah blurted out as soon as she and Max were alone.

They walked through the town, surrounded by colorful stalls, tourists, and the savory scent of local cuisine.

“He’s not really my uncle, but I get what you’re saying. He’s always looking over his shoulder. Furtive. But he grew up with my parents, and now he’s their agent or something, he’s the reason we’re on this trip at all,” said Max.

“Max, you know I love your parents, but I gotta say this. Something doesn’t add up. Your mom’s a travel writer, and your dad’s a travel photographer, right?” Leah didn’t wait for Max to nod before continuing. “But!” Leah paused dramatically. “Max! Your dad’s photos are beyond horrible. I mean I pointed out that his thumb was in one of his landscape shots, and he said he thought it added interest to the foreground. And then, he was photoshopping a picture that he accidentally took of his own feet. There’s no way any magazine is using his stuff.”

Max wasn’t offended, because it was true. “You know, I always figured Uncle Gavin sells Dad’s stuff to a parody magazine or something. I mean, my Mom’s writing is good.”

“Yeah, she’s a great writer for sure. Her blog makes me want to travel and see all the stuff she writes about even when I’m on the actual trip with her!” Leah was an aspiring writer herself. “But also, your uncle’s story about how he got a broken foot and a broken arm at the same time on that snorkeling trip with your dad? He didn’t even try to explain the black eye. I think he’s secretly a spy or something.”

“No way, if he is, what is he…” Someone knocked into Max from behind, causing them to fall on the street. They looked up. An American wearing clothes that screamed bodyguard stood over them, not looking down, but back towards a tall man, dressed casually wealthy. When the rich man looked down at Max, he had hard, scary eyes. 

“Watch where you’re going, young… person.” The rich guy’s voice was soft, but somehow threatening. 

“What do you mean watch where they’re going? Your bodyguard ran into them!” Leah did not put up with bullying of any kind.

Max’s shock was turning to anger, but they quickly got that under control. Growing up, Max learned that lashing out tended to end poorly for them, and developed coping strategies that came in handy when they first came out as non-binary. People thought they weren’t affected by all the taunts, but Max just didn’t want a tree to fall on them because they gave into their emotions and punched a kid in the face. Which had happened when they were eight. Still Max was sometimes jealous of how carefree Leah was with her emotions.

Leah was glaring at the rich guy, and Max saw the bodyguard reach his hand inside his jacket.

“Nope, we’re not doing this. Come on Leah, it’s all good.” Max dusted off and started to pull Leah back to their resort. 

The bodyguard pulled out a business card and gave it to Max. “Tell Gavin we’re on to him.” And he and the rich guy continued down the street.

Max looked at the card. All it had was a name. Royce Rollin. In handwriting on the back, “R2 G3, STAY AWAY FROM THE MARK”. He showed it to Leah.

“What the actual hell. My spidey senses are tingling.”

“If your spidey senses weren’t tingling right now, you’d be dead.” Max quipped without thinking. They had to talk to Uncle Gavin.

***

That night, Max’s family gathered at the resort’s poolside restaurant.

“Max! Do you want to see the photos I got today?” Max’s dad was already pulling out his phone.

“Sure Dad,” Max raised their eyebrows at Leah, silently asking her to join them. Leah averted her eyes, silently saying, you’re on your own. 

It was impossible not to look at the photos, the same way you just had to look at a train wreck. Their parents had made it out to see the moai. A series of shots was supposed to be of the statues, but one was just an ear, one just the base, and so on. Max couldn’t help themself on one shot that seemed to be looking straight up the statue’s nose. “Dad, did you get any photos of a whole statue?” 

“I was going for a feature on features. Thinking about the people who made these statues, how they experienced the world, I thought it would be fun to have a different perspective.”

“It is certainly a different perspective.” 

They kept scrolling through the album, a fuzzy photo of a plant maybe, an ocean landscape so slanted the horizon was almost vertical. Selfie photos of his parents standing in front of the ocean. Something caught Max’s eye. In the distance a small boat, and a figure standing on it, holding a rifle? In the next shot, the figure was gone, the boat’s pilot looking over the edge. Next photo, the pilot standing hands outstretched in alarm, a few triangles poking above the water’s surface, circling the boat. Was Max seeing what they thought they were seeing? 

“Oh my god, Dad, did you see this?” 

Max’s dad squinted at the screen. “Yeah, your mom is the most beautiful person in the world, isn’t she?” 

“No Dad, there’s…” 

“You stupid bitch!” A man at a nearby table shouted at his girlfriend, who was already in tears. “I can’t believe I’ve put up with your idiocy for so long. You’ll get nothing, the house, the car, the dog, nothing!” 

He was waving his arms angrily, leaning in to yell right in her face, and his beard ended up right over the candle in the center of the table as he finished his tirade. His beard caught fire, and he started screaming, waving his arms, now frantically, and jumped in the pool. Resort staff gathered to clean up and assist. Max’s mom went over to the girlfriend and spoke with her for a bit. Max could see the woman calm down, straighten her back. She turned and thanked Max’s mom and got up and left.

“What did you say to her?” Max asked their mom.

“I just told her that the universe was already paying him back for his awful intentions, and that she shouldn’t waste another minute of her precious life on him. Anyway, what did you kids get up to today?”

Max and Leah started telling Max’s parents about the rich guy and the bodyguard in town, but were interrupted.

Gavin rolled over awkwardly, his broken foot up on leg scooter, his unbroken arm steering an unsteady path to their table.

“Uncle Gavin, we ran into someone you know in town today.” Max handed Gavin the business card.

Gavin showed even less emotion on his normally stoic face. He flipped the card over to read the message on the back. “R2 G3, STAY AWAY FROM THE MARK,” and raised a single unconcerned eyebrow.

“It must be a competitor,” he said in a flat voice.

“Competitor for what?” Leah asked incredulously. As usual, she beat Max to the punch.

“Travel photography.” Gavin’s voice was still toneless, but even he couldn’t say this with a completely straight face. A miniscule eye twitch gave him away.

The asshole, now beardless, who had jumped in the pool, was now getting toweled off, he yanked the towel out of the hands of one of the staff, stared at the tag and then started screaming at all of them, something about cotton towels, and then jumped back in the pool. The resort staff looked at each other, and one got on the radio and called for security. 

“Uncle Gavin, what are you not telling us? And does this have something to do with the guy with the gun in Dad’s photos?”

“What?!” Everyone turned to look at Max. 

“Dad, gimme your phone.” Max’s dad handed over his phone, just as curious as everyone else.

“Here, look.” Max passed the phone around the table, to Leah, Mom, Uncle Gavin, and back to their dad, who looked at the photos obviously clueless as to what he was supposed to see. Everyone else was staring at Gavin, who was suddenly intently looking everywhere but at the people around his table.

Meanwhile, security was fighting with the jerk in the pool, who was alternatively scratching his skin and trying to fight the security guards. His face was turning red, almost purplish. Security finally subdued the man and carried him out of the pool, where the man started to reach into his pocket.

Suddenly, Max’s dad got it. “IS THAT A GUN?” He asked loudly and unfortunately.

Security immediately took a couple of steps away from the red-faced, beardless, soaking jerk. One of them pulled out a taser and shouted for the man to slowly take his hands out of his pockets and raise them in the air. The man was livid, and screaming unintelligibly about suing them all. He jerked his hand out of his pocket, thrusting an object out towards the security guard. The security guard shot him with the taser, the man stiffened, the object fell out of his hand, and he fell back in the pool. The guards inspected the item, which appeared to be a wallet, and then, not too quickly, fished the man out of the pool. One of them got on the radio and called for an ambulance. Staff offered a bunch of towels to security.

Meanwhile, at Max’s table, Uncle Gavin was stoically contemplating what to say. Max thought they could see his hair turning greyer. Then he sighed, “Ok, it’s time we talked. Maybe the kids should leave?”

“Hell no.” Max and Leah said in unison.

Max’s mom’s normally wise and dreamy face hardened. “Gavin, I think we all deserve some answers here.”

“Ok.” And then it all came out in a rush. “Remember when we were young and Mia, you were just getting into that Wicca stuff? And we joked about how cool it would be if there was a superhero whose power was to bring justice to the wicked through the Rule of Three?”

Everyone stared at Gavin like he had just grown another head.

“So, haven’t you ever noticed bad things happening to people with bad intentions when the two of you are around?” 

“Yes!” Max said. “That’s exactly what happens!” 

Gavin continued. “Well, you two had just gotten married, and we were all struggling to find work. And I started to notice this… phenomenon. The worse the intentions, the worse the effect. And so I signed us up to be… justice providers.”

“Justice providers.” Max’s mom said it in a mom voice. Max and Leah both shivered, even though they weren’t the focus. 

Gavin cleared his throat. “Yeah, people pay for us to go on vacation where a person they want to experience… justice… will be, and then usually what happens is that person will somehow bring about their own… justice. Haven’t you ever wondered how you all make so much money just taking photographs and writing a blog?”

“Max, are your parents assassins?” Leah whispered to Max.

“What? No? Uncle Gavin? Are you saying my parents are assassins?” Max looked at his parents, who both looked shocked.

Some staff walked by their table at that moment.

“Poor guy’s dead, I can’t believe it.”

“I don’t feel that bad for him, didn’t you see how he was screaming at his girlfriend.”

“Well sure, but what a way to go. I didn’t even know you could be that allergic to cotton.”

“Well if he hadn’t chased away his girlfriend, she could have told someone.”

“True, I guess he got what he deserved.”

Max’s parents exchanged horrified looks and then stared at Gavin together. 

“See? This is why I didn’t tell you before. But it seems we’ve made too much of a name for ourselves in the business. This card,” he held up the Royce Rollin card, “is from one of our competitors, and from the photos of the gunman on the boat, it sounds like they’re trying to scare us out of the business.

Max, Leah, and Max’s parents were speechless. Max’s dad was staring intently at his hand as if afraid it would destroy the next thing it touched. Max’s mom looked like she was about to start laughing, but not in a sane way. 

Max tensed up, they saw the bodyguard and the rich guy approaching their table. The bodyguard was wearing bandages over almost his entire body. He handed Gavin another business card between two bandaged hands, they both bowed to Max’s parents and Gavin, and then walked away without a word. 

Leah grabbed the card from Gavin, “R2 G4. No hard feelings.”