DOOM AND ZOOM

Submitted into Contest #60 in response to: Write a funny post-apocalyptic story.... view prompt

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Funny Science Fiction Thriller

I opened my screen door just a sliver. I wanted to be able to catch a whiff of the Jasmine I planted last year. It was 6 a.m. and I was breaking county curfew. Hoping none of my neighbors saw my crime, I smelled the air deeply and then slowly, quietly pulled the door closed. The click of the latch made me squeeze my eyes shut and grit my teeth. I had a few hours before I logged in for my work day so I decided to distract myself from thoughts of being imprisoned for opening my door with the latest news.  


Grover Grooter was my favorite reporter on BMM News. Since the onset of the "Daredevil Syndrome" several years ago, the TV and radio have become a daily necessity. Hanging on to every word, every video, every photo trying to absorb what was left of the outside world.  


Today Grover made an arm motion pointing towards the screen behind him showing twin students attending virtual school.


"Heartbreaking news today, folks. The students behind me are 8 year old twins, Erma and Jess. According to their 3rd grade teacher they have been great students and eagerly enter their zoom class everyday. This morning during story time their teacher was distracted by a crackling noise coming from her speakers. As she looked up to view her screen, she noticed a shadow hovering over these bright students. Suddenly the camera was engulfed in flames and their screen went black. The Kuna County police were called and are investigating the incident as we speak. We hope to have a press briefing later today." 


Huh! I wonder what happened? A house fire maybe? It appears virtual school has graduated from suspensions for wearing inappropriate clothing to a big brother type of home security. No wonder "Titanism" has taken over. How else can our youth express themselves when the invasion of privacy is the new normal and the required curfew doesn't give anyone time to exert energy. 


Tap, tap, tap. I enter into the virtual world. Yawning loudly, I click on the link "Dronedom Delivery". Coffee is an outside world pleasure and today I was fresh out. Ordering from Hot Shot Coffee was difficult. So much to choose from! I settled for a Large Quad Shot with Irish Cream and a Blueberry Pluffy. I entered my credits and hit send. Fifteen minutes later my phone pinged and I opened the built in delivery shoot built for drone droppings. The aroma of my breakfast was thrilling! My taste buds stood at attention with the first sip of coffee and the Pluffy was a delicious accessory. 


Stepping into the shower I reflected on how the world has changed since the "Daredevil Syndrome" made it's first appearance after the volcanoes erupted in The Ring of Fire. The scientists believed the ash created by the eruptions has spread a prehistoric disease through the air, water, and soil. They called it "Daredevil" because it was reckless in its destruction of the brain and nervous systems. The symptoms would start with the skin darkening to a scarlet color, a high fever followed causing blindness, and hardened carbuncles or boils grow on the forehead. Those who survive do not lose this unpleasant appearance. Grassroot underground groups report of rumors that the damage to the brains of survivors causes them to become violent and erratic behavior is exhibited. I shivered as I turn off the water and grabbed a towel. Photos and videos of people with the disease are brief or they may be blocked by the "Blue Pencil Committee" who edit and check facts in an attempt to stall panic.


At 8 a.m. on the dot I am ready for work. Today we have our weekly "Zoom Meeting".  I select a background of a beautiful lake to disguise my unmade bed behind me. Chrisly's face pops up!


"Good morning, Chrisly!" I say with a friendly smile. I see her lips moving but hear nothing. "Chrisly, I can't hear you. Please unmute."


"Sorry about that!" She responded with a giggle. "You would think I would get the hang of this by now."


Jerry and London appeared like magic. These two jokesters were already sharing a secret joke via text. We were all discussing this mornings news regarding the twin students, when we noticed London's screen glitching.  


"Hey, London!" Jerry said. "Can you quit goofing around so we can get to work! Ha! Ha! Ha!"


We all waited for a smart ass response from London but instead we witnessed something horrifying. London appeared back on screen with his head down and hands covering his face.


"London? Are you okay?" I pulled closer to the screen waiting for a response.  


He looked up and his face was a dark pink. His typically blue eyes were now milk white. He was speaking unintelligible nonsense.


Chrisly's voice broke through the shock as Jerry was attempting to dial 911. "Are you seeing this? This can't be real!"


As London's skin appeared to redden like the spread of hot chili sauce over egg whites, two large carbuncles started to grow above each melting eyebrow. He steadily and directly looked into the camera with the smirk of an evil demon.


"You're ne-ext." his said with a sing song whisper that flowed through the speaker.


In an instant all screens went snowy except for mine. A hypnotizing swirl of fire was circling my screen as London's gnarled red hand extended and pierced through like liquid mercury. He grabbed my scalp hair and pulled.  


"What are you doing!" I screamed through my disbelief.


London's maniacal laughing chilled me to the bone as his face moved in close to mine as he pulled himself out of the electronic zoom room. My eyes watered as steam poured off him. The madness had taken hold. This can't be happening! This can't be happening!


His growl was unfamiliar. A stranger now spoke to me, "I am taking you to my Salon of Horror found in the depths of Hell. Your torture chamber will be in the Hall of Bad Bangs and Close Shaves." My last scream could be heard as I was pulled into the computer darkness of Doom and Zoom.



September 25, 2020 04:06

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