Romance Mystery Sad

I’m not going to apologize.


I’m not going to apologize

Because I do believe that I deserved better

Ghosting was immature on my part

I’ll admit that

But honestly

I needed to get out

I couldn’t handle it

I wasn’t strong enough to handle it

You became an obligation

Another piece of my well-being

That I was supposed to just willingly sacrifice

For your peace of mind

Perhaps it was selfish

But you took so much from me that

I didn’t even know who I was without you

How much of me was I supposed to give up?

I had no one to turn to

None of our friends knew

The cat knew, but he didn’t care

And it’s not like he could talk

I was so lost

I couldn’t even go to therapy!

I thought if I went to a therapist

It would have been like betraying your trust

I was paranoid that they would somehow figure out it was you

And then it’d get out and cause an even bigger rift between us

Or I don’t know, maybe they’d blackmail you or something

Ok, it sounds stupid when I read it

I know there’s patient confidentiality

And it’s not like you’re rich enough to be blackmailed

Is blackmail still a thing? It must be, right?

But anyway, you know that I worry about these things!

All I wanted to do was talk to someone

Some omniscient outsider who could understand me

I just needed advice

I needed someone to tell me the right thing to do

To justify my decisions and tell me I wasn’t being unreasonable

Because I couldn’t talk to you


I don’t blame you

I know where you were coming from

But there are still times I feel resentful

You said you were trapped between a rock and a hard place

But what about me?


I always feel guilty for feeling resentful


Casey and Jordan got married

Sometimes I thought we would

Get married

We would have been horrible at wedding planning

Spend too much time trying cake samples

And not enough calculating budget

Stress over what to say to each other

Your vows would be more eloquent of course

They would have been beautiful

That happiness isn’t something I can imagine

It has to be lived through first

Except I kept imagining a big wedding

And the only way that would have been the case

Is if everyone knew

And if they were all happy about it


There were rumors

Alex tried to start a rumor

That you did drugs and couldn’t pay the dealer

No one believed him obviously because it’s Alex

They said you were stressed about work

You were

I can pretend that that’s the reason

That I have no blame in this


You don’t know how much I wish I had picked up


I couldn’t go

I couldn’t make myself show up

Knowing that your family would be there

That they wouldn’t even know me

Or at most they’d see me as another one of your classmates

Jordan had to tell me when it was

You never told them about me, did you?


There were probably speeches

I think Jordan was asked to speak

But I wouldn't know

I kind of avoided everyone afterwards

Story of my life

Jordan’s probably still passive-aggressively pissed at me

Sent me a few angry texts

About how I “picked a fight” with you and left you in pieces

The irony

When I felt like the shattered one

They never asked me why

I wonder what bs you told them

It’s not like I can go and ask them:

Hey, my memory’s a bit fuzzy, what did we fight about again?

It must have been believable

I always said you should write more


My dream is that one day

Scientists discover some evidence of parallel universes

Like in those science fiction stories you used to write

Then I can imagine that our counterparts find happiness

You’d like that too, wouldn’t you?

It’s sweet to think about

Romantic and all

But even then, I guess it’s not guaranteed

They might never even meet

For all I know, they might hate each other

Did you hate me by the end?

I never hated you

I couldn’t

When I walked out, I was so mad and frustrated

I wanted to keep screaming at you

But I could never hate you


Your fb page is still up

I guess your parents don’t know about that either

I think people posted more things on there afterwards

Than you ever did

Which is impressive, considering how much you used to post

I’ve read all of them

Some of them are so fake

Even Miranda posted, can you believe that?

I wanted to send her a strongly worded message

Suggesting that she take it down

I would have, if she knew who I was

But even if they’re not fake, a lot of them are



I mean, we never really get to know people

They knock on the door and come into our life

But they’re just there

In the hallway or the living room or something

All they see is the nice wall art we put up

The clean sofa

We show them who we want to be

Maybe we’ll bring some close friends into the kitchen

Let them see the dishes in the sink and the chipped bowls we have

But we only let a few into the bedroom

So being on your fb page

Is like that story about the blind men and the elephant

Where everyone’s like it’s a wall, it’s a spear

And f-ing Miranda’s like it’s a giant snake!

But only I know it’s an elephant

Because I see the whole thing

I saw the whole thing

There are things that only I know about you

But it’s not like I could post them

And even if I could, I wouldn’t want to

Some things should be kept secret

Locked away and treasured

Those feelings and memories with you

I don’t want others to taint them

And I don’t want to let them go


Today’s our fifth year anniversary

Do you remember?

You asked me in my bedroom

We were hot and sweaty

Had the window open

Cars honking in the background

You asked me, can you keep a secret?

I’m still keeping it for you


August 21, 2020 05:18

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Juliet Martin
19:54 Aug 25, 2020

Wow I loved this! The tone of the narrative voice is really well pitched, very realistic but not over done or tacky which I think is really clever and difficult to do using the text style. Also I LOVE the rhythm you create using the 'delivered' tags, it is used to such great effect and makes the story read almost like a poem. You conjure up vivid images in few words and without seeming literary - the last stanza in particular is really punchy and effective. Brilliant story!


D. Holmes
01:57 Aug 26, 2020

Thank you! (Especially since I was a bit worried it would come off as tacky.) I'm so glad you liked the narration and the format!


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Rachel Ryan
20:41 Sep 29, 2020

It's been a long time since reading something actually made me feel emotional. The delivery here was poignant, soft, and utterly real - I almost feel like I've invaded someone's privacy by reading this. Excellent work.


D. Holmes
07:27 Nov 09, 2020

Ahhh, thank you!! "Invading someone's privacy" - that's exactly the feeling I was trying to go for, but I didn't know how to express that in words until you mentioned it!


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Tvisha Yerra
15:46 Sep 26, 2020

That last line. Wow. WOW. Amazing 👏


D. Holmes
07:18 Nov 09, 2020

Thank you! When I saw the prompt, I knew I wanted to build to that line :)


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Savy Lockharte
05:17 Sep 21, 2020

Wow, the power in this one! I loved how much of the story was told indirectly, and how the narrator's emotions shifted throughout the piece. It felt extremely genuine.


D. Holmes
07:09 Nov 09, 2020

Thank you for reading! I wanted to try something new with the structure of the story, so I'm glad you thought it turned out well!


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S. La Rue
05:36 Sep 06, 2020

The last stanza/message gave me CHILLS (in my humid and stuffy dorm room, no less)! I loved the style and mystery of this piece!


D. Holmes
02:46 Sep 15, 2020

(Yay, I've succeeded!) Thank you, and hope you stay cool in your dorm!


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. .
08:14 Aug 31, 2020

I love poetry so this is definitely up my alley! Really good take on the prompt.


D. Holmes
02:26 Sep 15, 2020

Thanks for reading, I'm glad you enjoyed it!


. .
03:59 Sep 15, 2020

You're welcome!


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Jonathan Blaauw
13:29 Aug 26, 2020

The little star that has recently appeared below this story tells me I have excellent taste in literature appreciation! Well done!


D. Holmes
17:19 Aug 26, 2020

Thank you! I could say the same, congrats on two for two!!


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Jessie Nice
23:03 Aug 25, 2020

I read the piece and then googled what the title meant - goosebumps!! This is so well done, a combination of modern life and poetry. Perfection <3


D. Holmes
02:03 Aug 26, 2020

Thank you, I'm so glad you enjoyed it! And yay, you looked up the title :) I only recently learned what it meant, so I had to use it haha.


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Jonathan Blaauw
15:13 Aug 23, 2020

I shouldn’t be surprised by the quality of your work by now, but still, I was unprepared for how good this was! I don’t dislike poetry, but it’s not really my thing, so when I saw the format, I thought – I’ll give it a go, at least it’s brief. But, my goodness, this was incredible! Despite making it look like free-verse, you’ve still made it a story. A brilliant, tragic, heartbreaking story that’s instantly relatable. Including ‘delivered’ like that is genius because that’s usually the point of no return, isn’t it? When the message status s...


D. Holmes
04:38 Aug 24, 2020

This comment made my day, thank you so much for your kind words! And thank you for reading, because I'm not really a fan of poetry myself and probably would have skipped this over if I was the reader haha. But I've always wanted to try what I call "a texting fic," even though I worried it might come off as a bit cliche/boring. So your reassurance is appreciated :) Yes, exactly, it's like you took the jumbled feelings I had while writing this and translated them perfectly into words! There's that dichotomy of (1) the nerve-wracking feelin...


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Serine Achache
13:01 Aug 23, 2020

I'm speechless...And the title you picked for it is just... I honestly can't find words to describe how beautiful this piece is... You're so very talented, never stop writing!!


D. Holmes
03:52 Aug 24, 2020

Ahh, thank you! That's so sweet of you to say - I'm still learning, but I definitely hope to keep writing. Yay, you caught the title! (I'm guessing that you might know this from Harry Potter?? Because I only recently discovered the meaning of asphodel and wormwood and I was like...what oh my god is this real...)


Serine Achache
11:43 Aug 24, 2020

You're welcome! And no it's not really from Harry Potter xD It's just that, there was a time I was obsessed with floriography I'd spend so much time reading about it. It's such a beautiful thing I believe, for a flower to convey what words fail to...


D. Holmes
17:18 Aug 25, 2020

Ah, that's really cool that you know about floriography - I agree, it's very poetic that there can be a secret message in something you take time to pick out and try to express.


Serine Achache
16:34 Aug 26, 2020

Exactly ^^


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Keerththan 😀
02:27 Aug 28, 2020

Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow!!!! I loved it. The narration was like a poem. Wonderfully written. So wholesome to read. Great job. Would you mind reading my new story "The adventurous tragedy?"


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