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Fiction Contemporary Drama

Love has more trials than tunnels on an ant farm. An emotion so pure, like a nerve sworn to cause no harm. An enclosure of the unknown. Fear of separation is a pain like a broken bone.

No visions of us killing joy like a pulled-out tooth. Minds can't be tamed, just altered as we evolve away from youth. I'm more sorry than I am satisfied with life. Hating myself to death, crying all night.

Listening to the chirping of the birds but forgetting where I live. Kindness is death if you tap da wrong bitch. Shattered and lost. Devotion took off. Love that felt at home, so safe N soft. As jokes burn bridges that were meant to be crossed. A bond too complex to draw. Time hitting us like a punch to the jaw.

In progress living with motion. Affection was in place. Shit caused an explosion. Satisfied but exhausted by the cycle of despair. Not a feeling should arise; if so. It's meant to repair.

Hope suffocating reality hung by acceptance with love going backward. Embolden in an ego lower than our president's standards. Self-esteem below da earth's core—a path to take back, leaving more pain than before. Heart-shaped together, it managed to form. We never meant to love it just blew up a storm.

It became a necessity the more words flew. Like before, I destroyed what we built and grew into. Tears of hopelessness, no more begging to live. Not living to try but willing to give. A piece of me to get it thrown back. Sorry, It took a while. I was given all that I had.

I've genuinely never been scared, but now I might be. Dreams haunt my ass. Let me paint a visual so it's seen. I woke up oblivious to nothing I didn't notice. Going on around my day with silence as if my voice was broken.

Getting a call from you made me raise a brow. So I answered and went outside the warehouse. I listened and pondered. Cried and wondered. Walking and pacing as we spoke of each other. Missing you yet clueless like Huh, but why. You choose to bring space to let the frame die.

"Oh, I need time to be me. Don't say anything for now. We're friends. Don't feel the need to respond, or I won't be back again."

The call progressed, of course, but it hurts to remember. I'm not writing it down, so you lay the pieces together. The call ended, and I water. Days flew loneliness became a regular. Talking to no one, no family, no friends. Just me and my thoughts, even then one of them.

Weeks roll past, but you find someone typical. You let me know by being honest, which doesn't help me feel miserable. I don't have to explain the rest. I'll leave it for you to guess. Tension is left unsaid as you drown in pain and dread.

Wrinkles are scars of experience and age. We develop but grow dumb as we make da same mistakes. I wish we progressed. I saw da impossible—me with a family happier than a baby with a bottle.

But no, I doubt that you want to. I understand why, like a paper towel over spilled juice. In a sense, I'm like that towel soaking up situations, getting heavier but weak as the mind attacks off of frustration. I love you more than I should of. I'd delete everything in my possession if it means there's an us.

Your mine, sunshine, but you got a heart to claim. Not saying a word. Let patience say its name. Pray for a chance as we forget to explain. Then distance made an appearance like it went up in flames. I'd swim overseas or walk a million miles. Drive to the end of time even if the risk just piles. Working hard saving for our future or at least die trying. The point is I did what I thought I never would. Have love replace the feeling of dying.

I adore you, and I'm not letting that change. If you don't want me, I get it, but the feeling remains. If you find someone else making you feel complete. Giving his all and showing more passion than meat. That you are worth the one to live for if mishandled, don't mention. I can't do it because I fuck up my sense of direction.

Saying and doing simultaneously. Thinkin' isn't involved unless I screwed up out of honesty. I thought my presence and time were in for the better. But the confusion of how to maintain something that never occurred.

So I learned as I went to have no boundaries. No fucks given; say whatever as we grow faster than we can blink. But where did that lead us? Just gasping for air? Reaching for a hand that went further and further.

I love you, sorry I didn't do my job. I honestly tried, but that left me in a tight spot. Always thinking of you or what you are doing or how you are. Suppose you thinking of me or flipping out of a statement taken too far. I never cheated and or plan to. I'm pretty loyal to your ass. It's what I chose to do.

I pictured a kid us living lavishly. Being awoken to life as we give it a kiss. I'll never find someone like you. Pretty much da best I ever had unless we have a kid since your personality will be split in half. Having the best of their qualities coming from you. God, your amazing, but where's our truce?

We go together like Ginger and Fred. Dancing till da moon pops above our heads. A resemblance in character, but we grew up differently. Smiles more noticeable than a mosquito show your best interest.

Married to comfort, not da person the feeling. Mislead breach of content like a slut while kneeling. Heads High like a preacher while speaking. Yet humble to the game of life although people cheating.

It's been years, yet still Unwed. Insecurity ate my confidence which caused you to Flee. But like a boomerang, you came back faster than a smack. Then here I come, open to disappointment like a rollback. 

So like a hug, I let you into my personal space. Memories flood the brain, contradicting if trust is to take. I am overfilling this sadness with greatness, as you are to blame. Yeah, you brought silence but is that a significant change? Because regardless, you spoke like some smoke rarely. Come to my arms and gain the vision so that love is seen.

Like Stephanie Mills, I never knew love like this before. An emotion so painfully good yet fragile but pure. Digesting your problems but vomit with ink. Distract enough so you aren't forced to think.

Discontinued thought of wanting someone else. You say that you are depressed, but Maybe I need da help. Because I'm pessimistic. My heart jumped like a pogo stick. The past swelling is a pufferfish. Yet you match my needs like a checklist.

Sweeter than a strawberry, light enough to carry. Approach ya heart with caution, unlike skeptics at a cemetery. Sensitive but stronger than Nokia, although my mind is my enemy. Every minute is a battle for sanity. I get that you were tortured and traumatized. Drugs change the love that evaporates in front of your eyes. You had a husband, but he wasn't meant for you. Two years crawled into a divorce, enough of the abuse.

Now you are recovering from the arguments and months in pain. Nightmares, drugs, and alcohol just to feel numb and awake. But like a tissue, I'm here to wipe da sadness away. Just have faith and trust me, okay? I won't leave you, my love. My soul's out for display. Give it a day, and we'll wake up in a house with a driveway. With a kid or two or how many you desire to raise, I'll do my part as a father to love and support until the dirt completes my grave.

Now listen, I love you no matter what occurs. You belong with me saying that like a jerk. Like prison bars, I'm not letting you go. Worlds already dangerous ain't going to let you get exposed. Because I'm here to protect, subtract the stress. Put da past to rest as we move on to the next. Problems but solve them. Doing it together like the number eleven.

Sorry about your job and hating it with a passion. Cleaning houses to get the cash in. Annoying like a dog dashing. Keep calm but let it happen. The urge to leave is more severe than cancer. It's getting to you mentally, building up anger. So you scatter for a job, but nobody answers. Letting that stop you in your trail like an oversized anchor.

All of these things just pile up at once. All up at you like the center of a water jump. But don't worry, like Fo, I'll be around. Your company isn't leaving. I'll do that right now. I'm all that you need until I'm underground.

Success is in our view somehow. Holding you close although your parents won't allow. I love you though, so I avow. You cry more often than a child, but that's okay. It's good to release that shade of gray. I'm here to entertain and stay. You're my ambition, babe. Don't let that fade.

All up for you but not for the sex. My motivation is anticipated just don't become an ex. And for the record, I wouldn't picture myself being with anyone. Yeah, you were engaged, but what was done is done. Now, look at us living with color. Probably headed down that path with a couple title were under.

No separation, but working it out. No divorce either, even with flout. It's 3 A.M. with you by my side. Cuddled up with your butt close to my thy. Arms around you, I felt that pride. Joy and comfort as we lay there tonight. Arguments came, but we set those aside. Like a book flip past the page, we fight.

Memorable taste of dem soft lips. And that smile detracts me from life being a bitch. Ocean-colored eyes that shine like the sun. A laugh that hypnotizes that turns out to be fun. Hair as red as a rose, so curly, in fact. Dam, I love you more than a pothead loves his grass. I'm sorry for all of the shit that was said. Those, I didn't mean that got locked up in your head.

To those days, I didn't respond due to being broken like a crayon. I'm sorry for ever delaying what you receive. Being so stupid and yet naïve. Just scared I'm doing too much, not just talking, but you hold a grudge. Because I don't want you to bail. From being smothered in compliments that prevail. Or spark a comment to make you pale. Shit, that was said, I'd wish to put it for sale. Hurting your feelings more than a torn nail. So we love it out until we start to inhale.

I'm sorry for it all. I'd take it back if I could. Have you under my wing as any real couple would. Just scared you'll vanish with someone else. Who claims to stay, although it's just lust with no help. It hurts me even to think so. Imma step off of this. Tears will shed if I continue with this shit. But love is love. It's never perfect. We try what we can, but it just escalates the stress.

Opposites attract humans are like magnets. If that weren't the case, we'd never get destroyed from the first set. So we adapt and love who we can. Maintain it all, even if it's out of hand. So that we are happy and stretch da pleasure. Arguments are part of it, although we wish it never occurred.

The love sometimes I can't describe. Too great for words vibrates the mind. It's 3:02 fuck, this is what happens when I can't sleep. Just think and think I can't even get up on my feet. Mouth closed but grinding my teeth. I'm sorry, love just hope you won't leave. Because if you do, I'm done for. Drink till I drop against a closed door. Because I gave it my all this time around. Ain't planning to be demolished over something you announced.

Sweetheart, you are all that's needed. Outstanding personality, no need to seek it. Like an oven, at times, we're both heated. Mistreated but try to get even. Until someone is out emotionally bleeding, we break each other down, although we picking up the pieces. Steaming up as you stare at the clouds near Jesus. Yeah, I love you, and I have my reasons.

Sunshine, don't ever forget the idea of us. Cuddling and speaking although you are dreaming of stuff. Distant yet close the act of love. We are Still progressing, so it has technically begun. Just talkin' to myself, dem fuckin demons. Cross my fingers and add hope to pray you won't run.

I'm such a professionist. I can't even finish this. What's up with it is recovery limitless. Love doesn't come with a manual there's a reason for that. We live to learn to get by what we see as facts. And develop, evolve, adapt, and make opinions. Test this test that experiments by the millions.

It's never easy; it wasn't meant to be. Relationships are hallucinations until you are forced to believe. But yet, we ignore and choose to proceed. Then stay up till three as you start to agree.

January 13, 2023 14:53

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12 comments

Mike Panasitti
16:19 Jan 14, 2023

Hi Daniel, just making a reading suggestion for you: Eric Cocoletzi, a Mexican-American poet and short story writer from my hometown. He's got several books of poetry that might influence your own writing in a constructive way. If you have time and a few bucks, I think it'd be worth the investment to check them out, or to request them from your local library.

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Daniel Fernandes
13:46 Jan 16, 2023

Hello Mike, Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I will check Eric Cocoletzi out and try a book out. Is there a specific book that you had in mind or any is fine?

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Mike Panasitti
22:28 Jan 19, 2023

Try "Someplace I've never been..."

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Daniel Fernandes
12:33 Jan 20, 2023

Noted, I will check it out. Thank you.

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09:35 Jul 07, 2023

OHH GOSH they keep getting better!! 'Let patience say it's name.' Why do I love that line so much??

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Daniel Fernandes
12:41 Jul 07, 2023

I am starting to blush at this point. I appreciate the kind words. It's not easy and comments like yours helps motivate me to keep on writing. It's not easy being different. Let patience say it's name. Glad you pointed that out. One of my favorites as well.

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L J
00:03 Jan 27, 2023

Good job with the rhymes. I got the feeling this was kind of a rap song? I think all that poetry was very hard to do and you aced it. But words are more powerful if they are not dirty or swear words. Sometimes, I don't take the writer seriously if all I read are those words. I get tired of them and sometimes, a little offended, That is just my opinion. I know everybody swears, myself included, but when you are writing, try to portray the same intention with a different word or phrase. It's very challenging but you will find it brings up a de...

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Daniel Fernandes
00:53 Jan 27, 2023

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I wanted to make music years ago but never really went down that path. I'd recommend reading Coming of Age. It's a story I wrote that doesn't include sware words that I can think of. Not all of my poems/stories have them. I only include them to portray either sadness or anger in ways that feels organic. Some like Thanks Bitch, 3AM, and Transparent Lives are written in the moment of an atmosphere that it feels weird to not include sware words. Take a look at Coming of age, I don't want to, Th...

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Philip Ebuluofor
17:34 Jan 15, 2023

Age difference or what? Talking every night once in bed to the chagrin of any that happens to hear them each night. Old guys do that a lot here.

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Daniel Fernandes
13:51 Jan 16, 2023

Yes this relationship is about a 4 year age gap between the two. Based of an actual relationship of mine so it is personal but that book has been written, read and put down if that makes sense. Thank you for reading my story and taking the time to write back.

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Philip Ebuluofor
14:28 Jan 24, 2023

My pleasure.

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Unknown User
16:38 Jan 27, 2023

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