The Man of Her Dreams

It was a cold gray San Franciscan night, rain was starting when Kat came upon the aftermath of a car accident on her walk home from work. She watched how the paramedics lifted one of the drivers with precise movements into the back of the ambulance. The sight of blood unhinged her and she swiftly made her way home.

Removing her coat, she went straight to her bedroom, a migraine was coming on. She laid on her side trying desperately to get the images of the car scene out of her head. A meditation practice she learned was counting backward from 50 and visualizing walking down endless steps, by the time she’d reached zero she was immersed in a warm sensation of falling into a deep sleep.

She opened her eyes and found herself sitting at a sidewalk cafe enjoying a cappuccino, basking in the afternoon sun. The sounds of traffic in the distance, dishes clanging together as the busboy was clearing tables. She didn’t recognize the cafe or her surroundings, but, she knew she was not in San Francisco anymore. She could hear slow footsteps coming from the right of her, a friendly stranger approached her table.

“Do you mind if I join you? There aren’t any other free tables available, I promise I won’t get too close” he said with a smile. She looked at him for an uncomfortable second before she spoke.

“Sure, take a seat” she moved over slightly, “I’m Kat.”

“Nice to meet you Kat, I’m Fin.”

He was tall and lanky, dark brown hair with piercing icy blue eyes against his pale skin. His lips were uneven with a defined upper lip and fuller lower lip which gave him a seductive mouth. When he spoke, his words and expressions seemed mischievous, there was a quirky, sexiness about him that she found attractive. 

“Is Fin short for Finnegan?” she asked, making conversation.

“No……… Fingal, and I still haven’t forgiven my parents for that. It’s a Scottish name from an ancient poem by James MacPherson.”

“I like it, it’s a great name, unusual. My full name is Katarina, I was named after my maternal grandmother but, no one ever calls me by that name.”

“It’s beautiful, though Kat is a lot easier to remember.” 

Kat slightly grinned and thanked him, she was a pretty young woman with unusual hazel eyes that seemed to change colors in different lights, long silky golden blonde hair, and delicate features that stood out particularly when she smiled. They exchanged comments about the food on the menu and the fact that this was the first time either of them had dined at this cafe that neither knew the name of. Fin asked her if she had already ordered but, before she could answer him, an annoying ringing noise pierced her ears jolting her from her sleep. It was the telephone, her mother was calling to check in on her.

She was disappointed that she was woken from her dream but at least her headache was gone. Making soup and settling in for the night she curled up with a new book she was reading, hoping sleep would come and she could go back and find out who Fin was. He was not someone she knew or had ever met in her waking hours. It wasn’t long before her eyelids grew heavy and she drifted off once again into a warm sensation leading to sleep. Kat was back at the cafe, this time she was walking in and Fin was already sitting at a table waving to her to join him. The surroundings in the cafe seemed to be hazier than before, with a blurry background and little noise.

“Hey, where did you go? You’ve got to try these garlic fries, they are incredible,” Fin said.

“Where are we?” Kat asked.

Fin was taking stock of their surroundings before he answered her, popping another garlic fry in his mouth, “Not sure but, it’s a pleasant place and though I haven’t a clue how I got here, I’m enjoying the food as well as your company.”

“I think we are both dreaming, but, how is it we are in the same dream together?” Kat asked.

“Are you always this inquisitive? Instead of trying to figure it out, why not just go with it and let things evolve…… be in the moment!”

Kat shook her head, she envied his attitude, he was so opposite of her, yet she was drawn to him and wished she could just enjoy the experience of this strange dream rather than question it. 

“You want to see something very cool, watch this!” he said with excitement. He closed his eyes, hovering his hands a few inches above the table in front of him with a trickling of a smile he slightly opened one eye to look down. After a few seconds, he opened both eyes, underneath his hands were a cappuccino and biscotti.

“Pretty cool huh? You try it. Just close your eyes and imagine what you want to eat or drink to be sitting right in front of you, go on try it!”

Kat observed him for a moment, she never met an adult who had such child-like excitement and wonder, unlike herself questioning and suspicious of anything unusual or unexpected. Amazed yet envious, she wished she was more like him, she closed her eyes and visualized a cappuccino and cheesecake, when she looked down, there it was.

“Awesome!” Fin exclaimed.

“That is awesome! I’m really enjoying this dream as long as I don’t wake up ten pounds heavier eating whatever I want!” she responded in jest. It was in that moment a shift in her happened, a small shift but one that felt good to her.

From the cafe, they wandered down a road manifesting images and desires as they walked. Off to the left, an enormous tree appeared with lush deep green leaves which turned out to be hundred dollar bills cascading down like a willow tree.

“Did you do that?” Fin asked her.

“Yep, that was me! My mom said money doesn’t grow on trees, I wish I could take a picture to show her that it does in this world.”

“Good job! Hmmm…..” he said, closed his eyes and a few seconds later a red Ferrari appeared. 

“Let’s go for a ride!” he suggested opening the car door for her. 

They drove fast along a road that was going nowhere, no fear, no cares, and when they stopped they were back in front of the cafe as a loud ringing noise went off. It was Kats alarm clock bringing her out of her dream world into the real one.

Kat worked at an advertising agency and one of her associates, Jamie, had called in that morning with a family emergency, not sure when he would be returning, which meant longer hours and more work for the rest of the team. She was eager to get home from work and get back to sleep. Once again, counting down and visualizing descending down the stairs, she was asleep within minutes. This time she arrived near a lake, where Fin was laying with his hands behind his head relaxing on a large red blanket with a basket of food and wine waiting to be enjoyed.

She laid down next to him, the sun felt warm on their skin and the smells surrounding them were of mixed flowers, grass, and lemons.

“What is your favorite scent?” he asked.

“The smell of the beach, a mixture of the ocean, sunscreen, and hot sweaty skin,” she said with a smile.

He grinned, closed his eyes and her favorite scent was now surrounding them.

“Fin, what do you do when you are not here?”

“I don’t know Kit Kat, it’s like I’m sleeping until it’s time to see you.”

She smiled when he called her Kit Kat, she liked the nickname he gave her. Kat never met anyone like him before in her waking hours, she was happiest in her dream world and was falling in love with the man of her dreams. The electricity between them was real, a kiss or just holding his hand felt right.

One night while dreaming they were again picnicking by a lake, their surroundings became gray and overcast, dark clouds were moving in above them. They both shot up to their feet sensing something was happening.

“Are you doing that?” Kat asked.

“I’m not sure but, I think I might be. It feels like I’m being pulled somewhere but, I can’t let go.” He looked at Kat taking her face in his hands, “You won’t forget me Kit Kat, will you? I’m real and so are you.” 

The clouds got darker and the next thing Kat knew she was back in her bedroom, alone and unable to get back to Fin that night to finish the conversation.

The next day had been hectic at work, Kat was keen to get home and back to Fin, this time she didn’t stop for dinner, going straight to her couch lying down and counting. Happily again dreaming, she could see Fin sitting on a bench waiting for her. He got up when he spotted her and they quickly made their way towards each other. After a lingering kiss between them, it was eerily quiet, no birds flying overhead or ducks swimming in the lake, a stillness as the gray clouds moved overhead. 

Fin looked to the sky then back to Kat, their eyes locked, something had changed. Fin pulled Kat closer to him holding her tight, he could feel himself slipping away.

“Remember me Kit Kat” he softly whispered in her ear.

“Forever, Fingal” she whispered back.

He liked hearing her say his full name, he tenderly kissed her and caressed her face. She softly kissed him again, laid her head on his chest, closed her eyes breathing in his scent, within seconds she was standing alone, he was gone.

“Fin? No, no, please. Fin where are you?” she yelled turning in every direction trying to catch sight of him, but he was gone and she was now back on her couch alone in the darkness of her living room.

She climbed into her bed trying to fall back to sleep but, no dreams came at all. She woke the next morning feeling sad and tired, not having gotten a good night's sleep and dragged herself through the day. Later that night when Kat retired for the evening she fell asleep quickly but, slept without dreaming. That went on every night for a week, no dreams, no Fin, giving Kat a heavy heart.

Another week had passed and still no dreams of Fin, Kat loss her appetite and was falling into a pit of depression trying to understand exactly what she experienced, or if it was even real. Was Fin just a figment of her imagination? She felt she was losing her grip on reality and not sure how to turn things around. Her work was beginning to suffer, and it was noticed by both co-workers and her boss.

She requested a few days off for personal reasons. Her co-worker Jamie, who had taken time off was now back at the office, so her boss granted her request. Kat was so distracted that she hadn’t even notice or asked what had happened to Jamie, which was not like her. Her boss thought it a good idea for her to take some time off, but to pull herself together before she returned, they needed and wanted the Kat they knew. She went for long walks on the beach trying to sort out her thoughts but, was still not able to figure it out. 

It was a few days later she was sitting on the beach watching the waves roll in and out, her feet buried in the sand when a little girl with golden hair ringlets walking with her mother, stopped to hand her a dandelion with a full white seed head.

“Make a wish and free the fairies,” she said with an innocent smile. Kat took the flower, thanking the little girl, closed her eyes made her wish, blowing all the fairies to the wind.

The little girl giggled and waved good-bye. Watching the mother with her young daughter walking away, seeing children running along the beach, lovers holding hands, and the sound of laughter, she saw the beauty in the moment she was in.

The real world with all its warts is not so scary, it is like a giant classroom waiting to teach you something everyday. Strange things can happen, at times you just have to go with the flow. Whoever Fin was, a figment of her imagination or not, she would never forget him, he taught her to enjoy being in the moment no matter how fleeting.

It had been awhile since she hung out with friends and called a few of her girls to make plans for a night out. They chose to meet at a trendy restaurant along the Embarcadero that had recently opened. The bar area of the restaurant was huge but, she was able to spot her friends easily sitting at a table already on their first drink.

After greetings and hugs, she slipped away to the bar to order a drink, she glanced to her left and noticed also waiting to order was Jamie, her co-worker that had a family emergency two months before. Kat hadn’t spoken to him since his return and she felt a little embarrassed when he spotted her.

“Hey Kat! How are you?” 

“Great! Welcome back!” she said as she hugged him.

She apologized to Jamie for not asking how things were going after the family emergency and hoped all was fine now. He told her that his cousin had been in a car accident and had come out of his coma a few weeks earlier, fully recovered. It was touch and go there for a while, they didn’t think he would come around, it was a miracle that he did. He went on to say that he and his cousin were like brothers and tonight was their first night out together since before the accident.

Kat asked a few more details of when and where the accident happened and realized it was the same car accident aftermath she witnessed months before. She was elated to hear that the man she saw carried to the back of the ambulance not only survived but, fully recovered.

Jamie was eager to get back to his friends and invited Kat to meet his cousin and join them for a drink out on the patio. She thanked him and said she would join him shortly as she had friends waiting for her too. An hour later, Kat excused herself from her girlfriends to head to the patio to meet Jamie’s cousin. She wanted to meet the man who survived the scene she witnessed months ago and tell him how happy she was he was all right. 

She spotted the back of Jamie within a group of people in high spirits and made her way over to him. Within those few steps, Jamie’s friends moved to the side letting her through as she tapped him on the shoulder. He swung around and welcomed her, promptly introducing her to everyone standing near or sitting at the table, including his cousin whose face lit up as he stood to greet her. 

Kat had said hello to everyone and settled her eyes on the guest of honor, Jamie’s cousin. The unmistakable icy blue eyes she recognized with shock, happiness, and euphoria, hitting all at once as he extended his hand to her. 

“Nice to meet you Kit Kat” he said with a warm heartfelt smile in which Kat with rapture and joy in her heart replied, “The pleasure is all mine, Fingal.”