Tusks and Daggers Part Fifty-Four: The Journey back to Hope

Another portal swirled in front of me, my wool emerald dress danced in the early morning breeze. Lust joined my side with Wrathia and Lakmia not far behind them. Wearing matching black armor, my sad smile dimmed my features. Boran couldn’t make it again, a quiet rainstorm rumbled to life. Why did it have to rain? When was he going to let me work on my own?

“I don’t know why I am being summoned but we probably should get going.” I choked out tiredly, the joy having been sucked out of my life. “Cover me and all that.” Stepping through with me, Sir. Acorn popping up out of my pocket had me screaming. The three of them rushed over to me, one wave shutting down their concern. It had been a while since he came with me, a small bit of hope glimmering in my eyes for the quickest second. Scanning the area, the forest seemed normal. Sir. Acorn tapped my cheek, my numb gaze falling on him. 

“I can’t help but feel that you are a little under the weather.” He pointed out sincerely, my hand cupping his paw. “I haven’t seen the light in your eyes for days.” He wasn’t wrong, the light left a long time ago. I would be taunted by bits of happiness but that would all be gone in seconds, only for the depression to drown me. Choosing to ignore me, hurt dimmed my first friend’s eyes. Adjusting his black vest, he slid back into his pocket. The grass rumbled underneath my feet, my fingers curling around my scythe. A mirror tore the grass, walls of mirrors groaning into place. A silver demon lowered herself in front of me, her shimmering hand pointing in my direction. 

“I am Silvy, your local assassin.” She chirped cheerfully, her golden armor contrasting her hourglass figure. “You look a little dead, honey. Time to play.” Cracking her knuckles, a wave of silver knocked me through one of her mirrors. These bastards were getting on my nerves, a dark sight shutting down any confidence I had managed to muster up. Devastation greeted me, Cauchemar dragging a big coffin and four smaller ones behind him.  My worn body rested in a filthy cage, my broken expression tearing me apart. Shivering in place, the coffin doors swung open. Every breath grew shorter, my family laying in their own blood. Sinking to my knees, my depression made this feel all the worse. Cupping the sides of my head, a rotting hand rested on my hand. Glancing behind me, the corpses of everyone began to yell at me for failing them. Scratching at my cheeks, nothing could stop the color draining from my face. Screaming into the cloudy sky, my forehead pressed into the mud. Digging my fingers into the mud, every part of me wanted to die. What was he doing with me? Why would he take everything away from me! 

“This isn’t real. Silvy is tricking you. She has the power to see the deepest fear of anyone and you are letting her in.” Sir. Acorn chastised me warmly, his paws lifting my face out of the mud. “None of this has happened yet. We need to find the others and beat her.” His words faded in and out, my will to live fading by the second. A storm rumbled to life, ruby staining the top of my palms. Wake up! Wake up! Why couldn't my mind work with me?

“I can’t!” I shouted desperately, his body laying on my palms to prevent more self inflicted damage. “I always fail. People die because of me. I want to feel happiness again and it won’t come. I want to die!” Shaking my head, my ears pinned back at his gentle hug around my arm. 

“I know that isn’t true.” He begged with his real smile, nothing changing in my mind. “We would all be dead if you hadn’t showed up. We wouldn’t have you being the best queen you can be. You need to wake up. I don’t want you dead. I love you too much!” His words pierced my heart, a bit of light returning to my eyes. Struggling to my feet, my scythe shook in my palms. Wiping away my tears, he refused to leave my shoulder as dragon flames built in my palms. Intense heat had my bangs floating around, Darwin and Boran’s smile flashing in my head. Smiling softly to myself, too many people would miss me. Shaking off what I could, determination burned in my eyes. Placing my hands on my hips, hope shouldn’t feel so far away. 

“Let’s do this.” I announced with a false smile, his paws lowering it. “Don’t you want to see me smile?” His tail twitched at the words, his paws cupping my face. Ignoring the blood soaking his fur, his wet gaze met mine. His lips curled into the warmest smile that I had ever seen, his lips parting to speak several times. Just say what you are going to fucking say.

“I only want the real thing. You don’t need to feel like you have to smile around me. Be yourself.” He assured me with a brotherly tone, the tenseness leaving my face. “There we go. You look a little freer. Let’s get out of here.” Guiding my hand to the sky, the fireball shot into the sky. Flames devoured the space, the door presenting itself in the destruction. A copy of Silva blocked the path, a mirrored staff spinning in her palm. Raising it to the attack position, shards of glass whistled in my direction. Dodging each piece, I didn’t stand a chance at this rate. Spinning my scythe in my palm, vines curled up my arm. Forming a wall of well woven vines, we needed a plan. Think, you goddamn freaking idiot.  

“What do you know about her?” I asked with a sad smile, his paw tapping his chin. Pieces of glass tore through my wall of vines, my hand protecting him. Searing pain burned every inch of my hand, the piece of glass sticking clean through. Pushing through the agony, a bit of pressure breaking off enough to even out the shard. 

“She can’t stand her reflection. Maybe if we steal a mirror, we can get her to see her nightmare.” He suggested with a nervous grin, a loose mirror capturing my attention. Running over to grab it, my vines rotted away. Standing in the center, a shrill shriek filled the air the moment the shiny glass sucked her in. Setting it to the side, one kick shattered the door. Stepping into the original hall, I pressed my ear against the smooth glass doors. Listening for any signs of chaos, the third door had Lust fending off one of her copies. Opening the door, a single gust of wind whipped me in. My other companions were with them, all of them breathing a sigh of relief at the sight of me. Bewilderment twisted their features at me feeling around for a mirror. Ripping off the first one, I leapt in front of them. Shrill shrieks filled the air once more, the copy getting sucked into its nightmare. Lust began to fret over me, Wrathia dusting off her armor. If the mirrors worked on the copies, maybe they would work on her. 

“Correct me if I'm wrong but maybe we can move the mirrors into a trap where she has no choice but to look.” Sir. Acorn suggested with confidence, wicked grins spreading on our lips. “Will you guys distract her while we set the trap?” Flashing us a thumbs up, one blast of fire had us free. Lust whistled with a cocked brow and wicked grin, Silvy skidding out to battle them. Charging at her, Wrathia helped me rip off the mirrors, my steady hands creating an octagon of mirrors. Lust called back at me, glass sticking out of her face. 

“Back off. It’s my turn.” I laughed darkly, spinning my scythe over my head. “Time to play, Miss Silvy.” Slamming the tip of my scythe into the glass, silver water began to claim the space. Panic twisted her features at the lack of ability to control the reflections. Splashing through the water, her throws were growing more desperate. Horror rounded my eyes at her pulling out a sword made of mirrors, my strike to her side injuring me. Coughing up blood, her sly grin did little to ease my nerves. Catching me before I crashed down, her fingers gripped my neck. Glass inched out of her skin, gasps pouring from my lips. Sharp points dug into my skin, stinging cuts getting deeper by the second. My ears pinned back, Sir. Acorn leaping off of my shoulder to climb down her back. Dropping me into the rising water, drops of blood thinned out upon contact with the convulsing surface. Grabbing her by the ankle, her protests fell on deaf ears as I dragged her towards our trap. Summoning my vines silently, the others gasped in wonder as they bound her. Lifting her into the air, one splash told me that she was in our trap. The sides rattled as screams of pure terror poisoned the air, my vines crushing her body. Cracking bounced off the mirrors, one final one releasing a flurry of shimmering silver dust. The mirrors decayed to dust, a nice sunny day greeting us. Sinking onto my knees, I rested my wrists on my knees. Spinning my scythe in my palms, the water soaked into the green grass. Lust plopped down next to me, the others doing the same. Their size had me looking like the smallest person in the world, Wrathia and Lust laying their heads on my shoulders. Smiling softly to myself, Sir. Acorn poked my face. Taking the spot on the top of my head, he knew not to bring up my rapid mental decay in front of my friends. Staring ahead, their arms curled around mine. The world seemed a bit clearer for a few seconds, a couple of birds flying around in front of us. Mixed emotions flashed on my face, a noise in the distance had my ears pricking up. Darwin leapt onto my lap, the rest of our companions coming out with the makings of a picnic. Boran waved at me, his hair dancing in the breeze. Lust and Wrathia refused to let me go, his hearty laugh ringing out into the air. 

“We thought we would surprise our queen.” He announced with a crooked grin, my purifying powers blessing the land. “How does a spot of food sound? You guys relax and we will get the meal ready. I don’t think they will ever let you go.” Kissing the top of Darwin’s head, Somata had my three kids giggling in his arms. A sea of blouses and light summer dresses greeted me, his kind gaze causing my real smile to return for a minute. Mishal lowered himself, his tiny feet walking over to me. Landing clumsily in my lap, Darwin placed him on his lap. Playing with him, the scene was Heaven to me. Taking a deep breath, silver roses bloomed around us. Darwin began to talk excitedly about his night, his voice sounding like music to my ears. 

“You had quite the day, huh?” I mused playfully, his eyes lighting up at my genuine smile. “Tell me more.” Waving his hands around, he grew more animated with every word. Mishal couldn’t stop staring at him, both of their eyes glittering with joy. Clapping their hands together in some sort of game, Boran peeled the girls off of me. Embracing me from behind, his chin rested on my head as they joined the others with big smiles. 

“I am so happy you are okay. How are you really feeling?” He inquired sweetly, rubbing my shoulders. “Your numb stare had been freaking me out. We can h-” My heart rate picked up, every breath growing shorter. His words set off a reaction, my shaking hands setting down my boys. Sprinting deeper into the forest, branches scratched my face. Sir. Acorn protested as I took him out of my pocket. Violent sobs wracked my body, a clammy sweat drenching my skin. Tripping on a root, the cool grass felt soft against my cheek. Unable to move, the deep sadness returned with a vengeance. A burden was all I was, it was all I ever will be. Screaming into the grass, my claws dug into the dirt. Every single death I witnessed flashed in my mind, loud pops scaring me further. Cupping the sides of my head, worn boots came into view. Somata crouched down to my level, his slender hand helped me to my feet. Smoothing out his blouse, his elbow hooked around mine. A portal opened up underneath us, the forest fading to a beautiful rose garden outside of the remains of a decaying silver castle. Sitting me down on a sleek silver bench, his hand took mine. Why did he feel so warm? How did he manage to come through for me?

“This will be your home someday. I can’t stand seeing my little sister in such pain. We don’t want you to suffer as you do.” He wept softly, his tears ripping my heart apart. “The loss is evident in your aura and the recent events haven’t given you time to recover properly.” Picking a blue rose, he tucked it into my ear. Gripping the hem of my soiled dress, a gust of wind blew a rainbow of rose petals into the sky. 

“It is like the joy died with everything that I have lost. I want to go home and I want to cry every hour of the day. It won’t stop. I try to smile and it won’t stay. I am a monster that people died for. Why would they do that?” I cried out bitterly, his fingers wiping away my tears. “I hurt people just by being around them. I don’t want anyone else to die. Is that too much to ask!” Clutching me close to his chest, the rose in my ear fluttered to the ivory marble walkway. Placing me on his back, he carried me up to the castle. Walking through the broken door, his boots echoed down the empty halls to a worn throne room.  Sitting me down in an ornate silver throne, his fingers bled as he created a crown of different colored roses. Placing it on the top of my head gingerly, he fixed my hair. Taking a step, he held out a mirror. A ragged version of me frightened me, my fingers tracing my dark bags underneath my eyes. Laying the mirror down at the table next to him, he hovered his hand over my head. The physical exhaustion dissolved, the mental exhaustion remained to haunt me. Fishing around his pocket, he painted my eyelids with a golden eye shadow, his boots pounding away. Coming back with a light blue gown, one snap of my fingers had the simple silky gown on me. Shoving my dirty dress into his pocket, he held up the mirror again. A refreshed version of me caused a sad smile to dawn on my face, his features illuminated with his natural smile. 

“There we go.” He effused in a brotherly tone, a chilly breeze moving our hair. “You keep focusing too much on what you couldn’t do. This is a glimpse into the future. What do you think?” Seeing him so happy had my fraying nerves relaxing enough to laugh for the first time today, the armrest of the throne groaned as he sat down next to me. Hope glistened to life in my eyes, my mind knowing that it wouldn’t last forever. Hell, I was going to enjoy the moment. 

“I love you like a brother, Somy.” I admitted sheepishly, my head resting on his shoulder. “You always know how to make me feel better.” Wrapping his arm around my shoulder, nothing could describe the small joy I felt in this moment. Yawning groggily, exhaustion slapped me in the face. My real smile lit up my features, Somy singing a song. Settling into a state in between joy and sadness, this would have to be my new normal. Life was going to be okay, his blouse tickling my cheek snapped me back to reality. Safe, I felt safe for the first time in a long time. I had my family and they would always be there for me. Curling into a ball in the throne, his hand rubbed my back until sweet slumber stole me away.