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           He felt the difference as soon as he left the warmth of his car. He stood silently. Unwilling to move on just yet. He stood and stared out over the York River as he had so many times in his life, but this was different. Like a finger running up his spine and gripping his thoughts, yet he could not say where the feeling was coming from.

           This was where he had been coming since he was old enough to make the trip by himself, just to think. To be alone with his thoughts. He had made many decisions here. Important ones. At least, important to him. Sometimes to others too. He could not put his finger on it, but today was different.

           Suddenly he felt it at his back and knew it was time to move forward. He stepped onto the beach slowly and tentatively, making sure he had his footing before he proceeded to walk across the sand.

           “Forward. I must move forward just as you move forward.

It took him a minute to realize that he’d said those words out loud. He stopped and looked around him. He was still alone but, as if a screen had been lifted from his line of vision, everything was suddenly clear. Like he was seeing everything for the very first time. And with renewed insight. Then he heard it and he knew what it was. Or maybe who it was. He was not sure on that point but…he just knew he had to follow.

“Walk with me”.

As he heard the words, spoken or imagined, thoughts began to gather in his mind. Clear visions that belonged to someone else but were given over to him for a time. He knew he was not to rush but to keep slowly putting one foot in front of the other, making his way forward and into the past.

           “I know you as you also know me. But, although you have considered others, you have never really seen others as they should have been seen. You have never felt what others feel. You now have the sight. So, as you think, so shall you speak. This I will give to you.”

           “I don’t understand. What will you give me?”

           “I will give you more.”

           The man was quiet then. He was confused, and yet, he knew. He continued down the beach seeing clearly the beauty of the river. The majesty. The wonder he felt in this very spot when he was a child. He had not felt that in many years now. He remembered how his heart had pounded as a boy when he looked out over this body of water. He’d wondered all the places the waves must have touched. The different beaches and shorelines.

           He felt thoughts form and his renewed sight could see those thoughts before him, but they were not yet clear.

           He felt overwhelmed with the need to speak aloud to the river. “If only I could know what you know, see what you have seen, and been where you have been.”

           His mind and sight began to come crystal clear as he felt the spray of saltwater on his face. He began to see and feel many things at once. He felt pressure on all sides of himself. It was uncomfortable but not more than he could stand. He stood taller with the sight. He saw children playing in the water. Happiness and laughter. He felt the gentle waves brushing up to his knees. Pieces of dreams and hopes that, for many, were washed away with the tides.

           The happy children joined their parents and friends on the beach. He did not want to leave the water. He needed to stay in the water. He felt a kind of panic start to set in. He put his hand to his chest and as he did, he felt suffocated. He felt water rushing into his lungs, dragging him down. His throat and eyes were burning with the effort it took to stand his ground. He was losing the battle. He felt someone holding him under the water. Pushing his face into the mud. He heard someone say that he would not misbehave ever again. That he would be sorry now. Then he was gone.

The shock and sadness was a living thing within his heart and mind. He knew what he had just seen had happened in this very spot. He saw the newspaper article that no one would mention again. He was a little boy! What of the father? Did anyone know what he did? Who does that to their child? To any child? How many things of this nature had he overlooked?

           With his hand still at his chest, he found himself gasping. He had not realized his eyes had been closed until he opened them. He was still standing on the beach. He felt compelled to remove his shoes and socks. To roll up his pant legs and step into the water. It occurred to him that this was November and he would freeze but it did not matter. He knew what he had to do.

           He uttered one word. “More.”

           The water was warm. He knew it would be. He knew the tide was coming in so he only had to take a few steps before the gentle waves were at his knees. He felt good as he saw the many that were fed by the fish that swam in from the ocean. These waves were part of the ocean as the tides moved in and out bringing with it, life. There was more in the river than just fish. He’d always known that, but now, he felt more.

           The man smiled before his sight veered to a more disturbing vision. He saw other lands where the fish did not feed those on its shore. Many were hungry and starving. He felt extreme heat and the water turned much warmer. Almost too hot. He saw many around him. Dark skinned and very thin. Parents with their children. He could feel the hunger and despair deep inside himself. He felt tears on his face as he felt the hopelessness of a land that would not provide for its own people.

He was on the beach of Nigeria. The people stood at the edge of the ocean hoping against hope to provide some food for their starving children. He felt the pain of hunger gnaw at his gut. He’d never had that sensation before. And at the same time, he felt the sloth and greed of the rich men who stood in these same waters and took from those who were starving. He felt their indifference to those they were sworn to govern and protect. They took hope, life and comfort. They gave fear, poverty, and death.

He could smell the oil in the water and looked down to see his legs were covered with black slime. The water had turned painfully cold as he stood in place. He walked a few steps and as he did, he felt ice trying to form on the oil that covered the water. He could see birds covered in oil and trying to escape the watery death that the fish had succumbed to already. He could smell the money being made from this intentional oil spill off the coast of Alaska. He felt the pity for the wildlife in those who endeavored to help clean the area.

The man shook his head to clear his vision and thoughts, and he said “Why?”

The answer came. “You know why.”

And he realized he did. He also realized he wanted more. As that thought came, he felt the waves on the beaches of many different lands. He felt the motors of boats carrying drugs up the coast of South America and the many lives that had been ruined because of this.

He felt death aboard the pirate ships off the shores of Singapore. He felt the fear of the captives. He felt the overwhelming misery of those who had jumped to their deaths into these very waters.

 As he thought despair would overtake him, suddenly something shifted, and he felt the love of those spending time with their loved ones as they stood in the edge of these waters. Of the lovers who planned their lives and homes near these waves just as he had done as a young man. And he felt blessed to have what he’d had in his life.

He felt sadness as well, that he had not realized the depths of the thoughts and feelings of his loved ones. How many times had he brushed away those trying to reach him? Had he done that? He felt sure there had been times that he had.

He blinked his eyes several times to try to clear the sight and he knew it was time to leave the water. He put his shoes and socks back on and continued his sojourn up the beach of the mighty York River. He would never look at the beauty of the waves in the same way. His new knowledge would not allow anything but awe. Awe that he was allowed this insight to all that these waves had seen and touched. Once again, he felt the salt water spray upon his face.

The love he felt for his fellow man was deep and compassion overflowed within him.

“Thank you,” he said as he looked around.

 

After he had walked in silence for some time, he realized the area had become foggy. He struggled to see two feet in the distance before him. He could not see the other shore at all. He looked around where he had come to a stop, feeling to go further would possibly be detrimental.

As he tried to make out where he was standing, he felt the need to sit down. Once again, he knew what to do.

“I am at Cornwallis’ Cave, but I don’t understand why. I just know I need to rest. I must sit down.”

“Yes, you must. You know you must.”

The man felt the moisture in the air all around him and the spray of water upon his face as he spoke out loud.

“This cave must have seen much throughout the centuries. Will you sit with me?”

“Always, you know that.”

“Yes, I do.” And the man sat upon a rock near the entrance of the cave. The entrance had been blocked long ago for reasons of safety and preservation.

His vision and understanding remained clear despite the circling fog, for the visions were in his mind and heart. But that made them no less tangible. He was silent as he felt the scenes unfold before him. He sat where a major portion of history had happened. Cornwallis had been at this very spot. The man could feel the indecision and finally the heartbreak as Cornwallis made the decision to surrender to George Washington. He felt the heaviness within his chest as Cornwallis had felt. His limbs became heavy as exhaustion from battle washed over him as it had for Cornwallis hundreds of years ago.

As he continued to sit, the scene changed to young men in dirty, torn clothing within the cave wondering what was to become of them after the surrender. Wondering if they would be taken to prison and eventually hanged for treason. The man felt the anguish and misery of those young men as they thought of their families and the lives they would never see. He felt their fear of the unknown. He had not had feelings such as these before. Had others had these feelings in his presence and he had not known? He felt that somehow, they had.

“What must they have thought of my indifference.” He realized he had spoken aloud once again.

“More,” he said.

“As you wish.”

As the fog began to clear, so did the sorrowful feelings within the man’s heart. He felt something much different. He knew his face was turning red as he felt the giddy emotions felt by numerous young teens experiencing their first time with the opposite sex. He felt the uncertainty and the tingling all at once and he was transported in his mind back to the time he and his wife had been here as well. He had forgotten that time in their lives where innocence was lost. Those feelings of joy and sadness all at once. He began to remember their constant need to get to this spot, after the sun had gone down, so that they could continue those youthful trysts that had been so special.

The man was overwhelmed with everything that was pouring through him. He had much to think about. Where had those feeling of his youth gone? Yes, he had been married a long time and raised a family, but he’d somehow lost much along the way.

“I have missed so much. I feel like I have awakened from a long sleep, not knowing what has been going on around me.”

“It is as you speak. Although you have had a good life, you have missed so much of what is around you all the time. You have been asleep in your heart.”

“How have I missed so much life?”

“You didn’t miss it. You were busy living it. You just forgot to feel it.”

The man thought as he looked out over the beautiful river. He stood and walked further down the beach until he felt the strong urge that he needed to turn around and head back to where he started. To…where…he…started.

The wind! He felt the shift and he laughed out loud. He began to jog down the beach enjoying the feel of the wind at his back, pushing him to succeed in this incredible journey.

“I have seen everything for centuries. Since the beginning of time. I have always been here. You wanted to know more. Now you do.”

“Will I still see and feel as clearly when I leave this beach? Will you keep me aware? Or will I lose the incredible gift I have been given?”

“I will always be at your back. You have always known this.”

“I have to get home. I need to tell my wife what I have experienced.”

The man slowed to a walk realizing if he tried to explain any of this, she would think he was crazy. He needed her to know what his heart had been keeping secret, even from him. He needed to tell her what he had learned and how it had changed him in the course of one afternoon. He was overflowing with the need to be with her. He had not felt like this in many years.

“I don’t even begin to understand what has happened, let alone explain it to my wife. She will never understand.”

“Don’t be too sure about that.”

He felt the wind swirl all around him. He turned in circles as it did and when he stopped, he saw her walking toward him. Much further down the beach, but he knew in his heart it was her. He was bursting with joy. He knew, somehow, that she had been there with him. Experiencing what he had experienced. Felt what he had felt.

“Just as it should be.”

 

They met each other where the man had started out. They looked at each other as realization dawned on them both at the same time. This was where their lives together had begun. He had asked her to marry him here and she had accepted. Their wedding had been on this beach surrounded by family and friends. She had told him of the coming of their first child and of their second. On this very spot. This beautiful beach had defined much in their lives. How fitting that the reawakening of their hearts and minds would happen here as well. To the both of them.

The man pulled his wife to him and kissed her like he hadn’t kissed her in twenty years and she returned the kiss with the love and passion she had known as a young woman. When they finally pulled away, they looked at each other like seeing each other for the first time. They held hands like they used to and turned to face the water. The wind was gentle in their faces and they each smiled. The wind. Always there during each phase of their lives. Surrounding them with memories. With knowledge. The wind has been part of all things throughout life and history.

The man looked at his wife. “Strong people are made by opposition, like kites that go up against the wind. I remember that quote by Frank Harris. One of my favorites from my college years.”

His wife smiled. “The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails. William Arthur Ward. One of my favorite quotes back in the day and I find it to be all too true.”

They stood watching the waves crash onto the shore as the wind picked up. The man pulled his wife closer, guarding her against the chill. The wind, blowing across the water, forming the shoreline as it had for hundreds of years. Over the earth from the beginning of time.

“If you could go back in time and change any one thing, what is it you would want?”

This had been the same question, asked by a stranger, to both of them as they waited in line at the supermarket recently.

They looked at each other and to their surprise, said at the same time. “More!”

“It is as you wish.”

They each felt the salt water spray on their faces and the wind at their backs as they both stepped into their future. Together. For more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

March 07, 2020 21:16

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