Spooktacular

           It was Halloween night and all of the kiddies were dressed in costume representing their favorite superheroes, cutest princess, or scariest monster.

           This was the night that Montague Spinnaker waited for all year. It had always been his favorite time of the year. He found such amusement in dressing up in costume and frightening the children as they came to his door ‘Trick-or-Treating’. He was infamous for setting up his yard with scary special effects and props. Unfortunately, on October 31^st of last year, Monty played his last Halloween prank.

           He was dressed up as a vampire with Hollywood-quality make-up. It was a stormy night and the wind was very strong. While trying to fasten his gravestone props to the ground, a strong gust of wind forced loose a picket off of his fence which went airborne, and ironically, it impaled Monty through the heart like a wooden stake.

           Over the year to follow, however, Montague had learned a few tricks from his fellow spirits. They showed him how to move solid objects and create hauntingly eerie noises. Montague decided that this year would be his best Halloween ever, full of terror and laughs.

           Monty left behind several friends and acquaintances, but since he had never married, he left no loved ones to carry on his family name. Therefore, he wasn’t completely sure why he had yet to move on to a higher place…or lower place, depending on who you talk to. With all of the pranks that he had pulled on people over the years, he was bound to have some sour feelings toward him.

           Monty carefully planned out his first prank. He decided to make his former boss the first victim. He ran through the streets unnoticed until he reached the home of Mr. Jacobson, his boss at the warehouse where Montague worked as a stockroom manager. Mr. Jacobson seemed to have it in for Monty from the first day he was promoted. He constantly hounded him for updates on inventory and production quality. Monty had played a few minor pranks on him in the past, but this one would be the ultimate one.

           He saw his old boss handing out candies to kids at the door and slid past him and into the house. As soon as his boss turned to walk back into the house, Monty slammed the door directly into Mr. Jacobson’s face. The old man grabbed at his nose, stumbled back, and fell into the rose bushes in the garden outside. Monty laughed at his assault while watching Mr. Jacobson bleed all over his torn shirt.

           The next prank was to be played on his co-worker, Harry. He was always a bit of a loudmouth, and even though Monty had written him up several times for his behavior at work, he also could relate to him. Outside of work, Monty was even more obnoxious than Harry.

           Harry was still at work in the warehouse trying to load up some pallets onto a truck for delivery. Montague scurried up next to the forklift, unbeknownst to Harry, and he turned off the propane. Harry was half-way across the loading dock when the forklift sputtered to a stop. Harry reached back and checked the shut-off valve and found it closed. After releasing more fuel into the lines, he started it back up. Again, Monty turned it off causing Harry’s forklift to stall out. This went on for several minutes until Harry had gotten spooked and walked away from the forklift which was now parked inside the truck’s trailer.

           When Harry returned, he had brought another driver with him, but before either one could get near the forklift, Monty had started the unmanned vehicle back up again. The two men ran away and off of the property.

           The next prank had to be on his best friend, Walter. Montague and Walter had been best friends since high school and they did everything together. They even dated some of the same girls. Every Saturday night, without fail, the two friends made plans to go out for a few pints at the local pub. They would play some pool and flirt with the good-looking ladies. Of course, most of the women looked good to them before the night of drinking had ended.

           Monty knew that Walter would be attending his weekly poker game with the guys from his ball team, so he decided to go make the game a little more interesting. He waited until the pot had built up to a fair amount of cash and then he threw the money high into the air, scattering it around the room. The startled men fell backward from their chairs and landed on the floor. Monty then grabbed one of the Jokers from the deck of cards and tossed it at Walter. The men didn’t stick around to find out who had the highest hand or to collect their winnings.

           Onto the next one, which in this case would be a police officer that had ticketed Montague on several occasions for causing a visual distraction to drivers with his Halloween displays. Monty saw him walking his beat and decided to have some fun.

           He grabbed an apple from a tree and hurled it at the cop’s head, knocking the hat right off of his balding skull. Officer O’Malley spun around with hatred in his eyes, ready to take chase at the perpetrator of this heinous crime. Monty then scooted in behind the angry officer and booted him in the buttocks, knocking him to the ground face-first.

           Officer O’Malley was furious now and started shouting, “Come out here, you coward, and fight me face-to-face!” Monty then pulled the officer’s hat over his eyes. This was too much for the irate police officer. He was out for blood now. As he straightened himself out and got back to his feet, Monty jumped up and grabbed onto the branch of a tree that hung above Officer O’Malley, sending it crashing down upon his head. The distraught cop looked up into the tree and all around, hoping to spot his assailant, but none was to be seen.

           Montague reached out and ripped open the officer’s shirt, popping the buttons off. This was when Officer O’Malley realized that he was being attacked by a ghost and he called for back-up. His commanding officer told him that if he insists on drinking on the job, then he could take a few days off to sober up.

           Montague was having so much fun. He couldn’t wait to find his next target. He considered scaring the priest at St. Mary’s Catholic Church, but then he reconsidered knowing that he would lose out on any chance of ever making it to Heaven.

           So, he decided to go scare some unsuspecting kids instead. He saw a group of children approaching a cemetery, so he waited until they were right next to the fence and started making ghoulish noises such as moans and screams. Most of the children ran off shrieking, but one little girl stood there staring at him with a smile on her make-up-covered face. She was dressed up like a black cat and looked adorable. Monty was taken aback by what happened next.

           The little girl spoke up and said, “You don’t look scary to me, mister. I don’t know why everybody else was a-scared of you.”

           “You can see me?” Monty replied. “You’re not afraid of me?”

           “Yes, I can see you,” The six-year-old replied. “and no, I’m not a-scared of you at all. You made funny faces when you made those noises.”

           Montague smiled at the thought of her innocence. He had spent so much of his life trying to scare these kids, that he didn’t allow himself time to see the children behind the make-up and costumes. Too bad he didn’t learn this lesson before his demise.

           He introduced himself to the little girl and she told him that her name was Henrietta. She said that she was named after her dad. When Monty asked if her dad’s name was Henry, she said, “No, his name is Henrietta too. He was Henry when he was a man, but he is a woman now. He said that he wanted me to have a mommy in my life.”

           Montague tried to hold back his laughter at her statement. “It is very nice to meet you, Henrietta. If you see me around town, make sure you say hello, okay? I don’t get to talk to many people anymore and I get lonely.”

           Henrietta agreed and moments later, her mommy/daddy showed up and scooped her up off of her feet carrying her away from the cemetery. Henrietta waved at her new friend as they disappeared around the corner.

           Montague sat silently against a gravestone while he contemplated the things that he had done in his life to others. He decided there and then that his pranks would come to an end. It was time to put the old Montague Spinnaker to rest once and for all. He turned toward the gravestone and realized that he had been sitting on his burial plot this whole time. He laid down upon the wet grass that covered his grave, closed his eyes, and faded away.