Rural Route 12: Madvent Hits Middle Age

Submitted into Contest #172 in response to: Set your story in an unfiltered world, where people are always honest about how they feel.... view prompt

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Fiction Holiday

This story contains sensitive content

SENSITIVE CONTENT: Mental health issues, homelessness, substance abuse, cursing, sexual debauchery, hints at murder, sacrilege, crime ... this story has no redeeming value, as one might expect in a world full of unfiltered sociopathic Dans, and you probably should not read it at all.


~~~


It was the end of the season, and Dan was quickly painting himself into a corner. That was the thing with Madvent: you had to start small. He had been celebrating it long enough to know that, but come December 1st every year, his enthusiasm for celebration made him forget that simple rule, and he often found himself in this same predicament.


~~~


The closest he had come to getting caught was 5 years back, and that was coincidentally the last time he had been way too enthusiastic at the start: Yurtle the Turtle, they had called that guy. He was a homeless man who was always moving at a snail’s pace and insisting on stopping rush hour traffic. A stone in the collective shoe for years, he was also an extremely violent drunk who was known to expose himself regularly. It had practically been a public service when Dan approached him late on December 24th as his final act of Madvent that year – it was the only option, he reasoned: you had to outdo yourself each day from the day before. At least he could make it count for something: Happy Holidays to the unwitting masses!


What he hadn’t noticed at the time was a woman just rounding the alleyway. She saw Yurtle (nobody knew his real name) fall and started screaming as Dan quickly ran in the opposite direction, zig-zagging through several streets until he was certain he was in the clear, just as the clock chimed midnight. Another successful Madvent had come to a close.


That close call ensured that he had begun these few intervening years with lesser deeds on Day 1. While he was committed to the idea of “Whatever it takes,” he’d much rather perform the ritual outside of a jail cell than try to be creative behind bars. 


Sometimes, he had to take license. He allowed himself to count #6-10 of "God's Big 10” (as he thought of them), as well as actual crimes, of course; for the lead-up, he used social faux pas which began small and worked their way up to the particularly egregious and borderline sociopathic without being criminal. He tried to stay in that sweet spot as long as possible these days before moving on.


There were some easy stand-bys which helped fill in the gaps: Sandy was always Day 12. She was his neighbor’s wife, and December 12th was her wedding anniversary. After her annual date night with her husband, she would invite Dan into the basement rec room for some all-night wild times. She got something twisted out of it, and it always gave him a checkmark for that day, so it worked out well for them both. Because that wasn’t an actual crime, but one of the Big 10, it was good that it came mid-list. Perfect positioning, he always mentally quipped.


Misdemeanors finally arrived between the 15th and 20th. If you’ve ever seen another driver who made you shout out loud, “Where the hell’s a cop when you need one?!”, then you understand Dan at Madvent. And you’d be right: he was unapologetic, but he was certain never to get caught at it.


When he ran out of misdemeanors, there were usually only a handful of days remaining in the countdown, but it got trickier. When you think of felonies, a few come easily to mind – murder, arson, assault, DUIs, drug dealing, large-scale thefts – but those all involve an element of risk. That was part of the excitement, but as he got older, that thrill was tempered with the desire to remain free to enjoy another year. What seemed like potentially wicked fun when he was younger was now becoming an albatross around his neck.


~~~


Two days ago, on the 21st, he had keyed both sides of a truck belonging to some jackass taking up two parking spots at the mall. That had felt extremely satisfying, and it hadn’t occurred to him until afterwards that it counted, since he had just done it on principle. 


Yesterday he had been more diligent in seeking out opportunities, but none had presented organically. By 9 p.m., he found himself outside of Sandy’s bathroom windows “Peeping-Tom-style” while she took a bath. From his vantage point, he could easily see the water seductively swaying her shapely form amidst the rising steam. He thought about tapping and seeing if she was up for something, but he didn’t like complications, so he soon called it a night.


Since peeping was a felony in his jurisdiction, that meant the bar had been raised, and today and tomorrow both had to be felonies, as well. It was already 6 p.m. with no ideas having presented themselves, and Dan was lounging on his leather recliner in front of a cozy fire, pondering his predicament.


He enjoyed fine wines, and in fact had some exquisitely expensive ones. He briefly considered helping himself to some of the pricier ones and then breaking some of the cheap bottles in order to commit insurance fraud, but it seemed like an awful lot of work, and would of course ruin the resale value, which was the real reason one was a collector in the first place. Still, it would be an option in his back pocket for now.


He mentally cast about some more. It was a frigid late-December night, and flakes were swirling in the silent air. Darkness fell by 4 p.m. now, the perfect cover for misbehavior, if only one could find the right flavor to choose from…


An idea suddenly occurred to him, one so ridiculous that Dan was cackling to himself as he quickly threw on his shoes and coat and dashed out the door. He was back home in no time, shaking off the chill and carrying his thin, red-boxed victim du jour: a DVD movie. He could use a DVD burning program on his computer to make a copy of the movie, and – as stated clearly on the opening title screen, he giggled to himself – that, my friends, is a felony. Day 23, done! He settled back in for a simple, quiet night at home. Maybe he would enjoy a glass of the cheap wine with his movie.


Tomorrow would take care of itself, he was sure.


November 13, 2022 03:45

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15 comments

Daniel Legare
11:52 Nov 22, 2022

Ooof...that last felony....hits hard! I wonder what other people's Madvents would be like.

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Wendy Kaminski
12:04 Nov 22, 2022

haha :) Yes, that would be interesting. I should mention: This is the edit. Let's just say I'm not sure all of the trigger warnings would have fit on the top line, in the first edit (nor would it have likely passed the censors).

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Jack Bell
00:25 Nov 19, 2022

I've never seen "Sensitive Content" used as such an effective marketing tool -- who could resist! I take Madvent to be Dan's formal attempt to express the darkest, unfiltered impulses of his sociopathic heart. An unfettered honesty of sorts. So it's fascinating to see the way it gradually devolves into just another harried bureaucratic enterprise, data to be sorted, boxes to be ticked, procedures metastasizing. By the end, Dan is serious danger of going all too gently into that good night! I read this story as confirmation of my first thou...

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Wendy Kaminski
02:50 Nov 19, 2022

This is such an incredibly flattering review: thank you so much for taking the time to comment!

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Graham Kinross
23:40 Nov 30, 2022

Dan and Sandy in the basement? Sounds interesting. That could be its own story. I read yesterday about the fashion for doing DNA tests and giving them as gifts. It’s been dragging a lot of skeletons out of closets, lots of people finding out their mums weren’t as sainted as they thought! I like the variety of your stories. All so different. I bet keying an idiots car always feels exhilarating. The way he’s calculating how to one up his crimes is interesting is Madvent a real thing? I could believe it is. This feels a bit like a personalise...

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Wendy Kaminski
00:01 Dec 01, 2022

Nope, not a real thing... at least, before I wrote it, lol. Who knows, now, and I would like to extend my apologies if it happens outside of my imaginings! I did have a list typed out as background for the year he killed Yurtle as the final act. It was WAY harder to come up with 24 misdeeds (increasing in misanthropy) than I realized! I wasn't sure my story would see the light of day if I included it, though (censors, hmpf!) so I just kept it as reference material. :)

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Graham Kinross
00:16 Dec 01, 2022

Yes, it’s hard to know what you can get away with here. Self censorship is the worst but if you’ve put the time into something you don’t want it scrapped at the last hurdle.

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Richard E. Gower
00:06 Mar 04, 2023

So, end of the week, and time to relax a bit with some reading for pleasure. I am slowly working my way through your Reedsy story collection. Thought I would start at the beginning. In terms of a review, I would simply cut and paste Jack Bell's in the thread of comments here, if that wouldn't get me into trouble as a plagiariser. :-) I am again bowled over by the range of your imagination, Wendy. IMO, you really got this character's head framed perfectly........he ticks every box of the Hare Checklist. And the term....Madvent....?.......

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Wendy Kaminski
00:16 Mar 04, 2023

You are correct, as usual: it was a take on Madness at Advent. :) What a delight to get your review on one of my older bits - I am really flattered and thrilled you liked it. It was definitely an early/novice effort. Thank you, Richard! :)

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Keith Maynard Jr
13:40 Jan 18, 2023

As another comment pointed out the "Sensitive Content" was indeed a stroke of great marketing, though I almost didn't read the story because of it. In the end, though that marketing felt lost as I didn't read anything that I would have thought warranted that moniker. Since no real details were ever expressed, I felt a bit tricked. A good story all the same.

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Wendy Kaminski
13:42 Jan 18, 2023

Thank you! Yeah, I never know how much "reveal" is going to be too much for readers, so I tend to err on the side of caution! There was a much longer version, plus a list of all 24 days from the year of the murder, that totally would not have made it past the censors. ;)

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Michael Hall
12:17 Dec 26, 2022

Interesting perspective, typically mentally ill people conveniently can’t remember their deviant acts. You stated his acts were an “albatross” around his neck. To me that would mean a police conviction for each one. To top it off, a mentally ill person would view getting away with their deviant act as a success and fuel their negative behavior with positive reinforcement.

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Wendy Kaminski
16:35 Dec 26, 2022

I think he does view his successes as positive reinforcement. I see him as a sociopath playing out some sort of game at the holidays that is difficult for the rest of us to relate to at all. I think his mental illness, such as it exists in any degree, is illuminated by his choice to do these things and even come up with new ones year after year, despite the tedium that even he himself is beginning to feel over it. (I used the word "mad" as an American in the US, so not the meaning it has overseas but more of a catch-all phrase for a set of b...

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Wendy Kaminski
15:51 Jan 21, 2023

Artwork courtesy of Martin Ross: https://www.wattpad.com/1307485036-rural-route-12-the-complete-series-rural-route-12

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Aoi Yamato
01:25 Jun 06, 2023

amazing

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