BRIAN'S BIG DAY

“Hello Brian and Emily. Welcome to the show-Second Chances. Has everyone been kind to you in the green room?”

Brian and Emily nodded in unison.

“That’s great. Now I just want to introduce myself to you as your host for today’s show. I’m Peter Hammond and I’ll be asking all the questions today. I’m sure my staff have explained most of what it’s about to you already and I’m sure you’ve also been watching the show. It’s a great show and very high up in the rankings for audience views. Now Brian if you would like to stand over there on my left. Emily you stand here on my right. You can see the score board behind me and I have a view of another board behind you. The audience will also be able to see the board at the back. I’ll explain what we do now and then when we are ready to go live, I will count us in-3-2-1 and we’ll be live. I will then explain it all again and interview you both for a couple of minutes for the benefit of viewers and our audience. Is that all clear? Any questions?’

Emily and Brian nodded in unison once more.

“So, Brian you stay over there on my left and Emily you stand here on my right. I will go through the questions starting with Brian as he won the toss earlier in the green room, or so I was told. I am sure you are aware of the theme of the show and as it is called-Second Chances we take your second answer as the correct answer. So, your first answer must always be a wrong answer. Is that clear?”

Brian and Emily nodded again.

“And we are off-3-2-1. Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to our fabulous show-Second Chances. This is your friendly host Peter the greeter.”

Chuckles scurried around the auditorium. Brian gave a smile and nod to Emily and Emily responded with a little wave of her hand.

“Let me introduce our first contestant Brian who is already on a winning streak as he won the toss. (more chuckles from the audience) Brian, tell us a little bit about yourself.”

“My name is Brian. I’m a carpenter by trade. I come from Lancashire. My hobbies are going to the gym and bird watching.”

“Nice to meet you Brian. Now our second contestant is the lovely Emily, here on my right. Can you tell our viewers and the audience a little bit about what you get up to and where you come from?”

Emily coughed. “My name is Emily. I come from Devon. I have two little girls who are probably watching this show right now. I also own a florist shop. My hobbies are horse riding and cycling.”

“Well done Emily and Brian. Thank you for introducing yourselves. Now, Brian, we have the first of your two questions here. Remember-the name of the show is-Second Chances. Brian, what is the capital of Scotland?”

With a huge grin on his face Brian says, “Edinburgh.”

Laughter is heard from the audience.

“Ah, Brian. Do you remember the name of the show-Second Chances? You have two questions Brian. I will ask you once again. What is the capital of Scotland?”

“Edinburgh.”

“Ah, Brian. This is your FIRST question and then you will have a SECOND CHANCE, with your second question.”

“Oh, um, Dunfermline?”

“Well done Brian. And now for your second question. What is the capital of Scotland?”

“Edinburgh?”

“Correct Brian. You now have ten points and ten pounds.”

Brian breathes a sigh of relief and smiles nervously as the audience applauds his efforts.

“Now Emily for your first two questions. What is the capital of Wales?”

“Newport.”

“Correct. And for your second question. What is the capital of Wales?”

“Cardiff.”

“Well done Emily. You also have ten points and ten pounds. Now, the questions will get harder. Brian what pudding is Yorkshire famous for?”

“Rice pudding.” Grins Brian.

“And your second question. What famous pudding do they have in Yorkshire?”

“Yorkshire pudding.” Answers Brian as he jumps up and down with glee.

“Well done Brian. Now Emily, what oil is Spain best noted for?”

“Fish oil?” Responds Emily tentatively.

“Correct. And now for your second chance question-what oil is Spain noted for Emily?”

“Olive oil.” Emily replies as she smiles across at Brian.

“Well done everyone. And now we have a tie breaker, so you need to be on the tips of your toes. The bonus money for the tie breaker is five hundred pounds and that goes on top of your present amounts of forty pounds each. So, a great deal of money is at stake.”

Brian stands on the tips of his toes to echoes of laughter around the auditorium.

“For your next two questions Emily and Brian you will need to shout out the answers. The first answer is the one I can take for each question. Are you ready?”

Emily and Brian nod to the affirmative.

“Question one. What is the name of the famous large expanse of water in Scotland that is noted for its monster?”

“Loch Ness.” Shouts Brian as he bounces up and down.

“Ah, sorry Brian but that is the wrong answer.”

“It’s the right answer.” Yells Brian as he points to the audience and then at Peter the greeter.

“No, sorry Brian it’s the wrong answer to QUESTION ONE. And Emily has a one hundred pounds bonus because of your incorrect answer. Now let’s get to the second tie breaker question.”

“But I was right about Loch Ness and the monster Peter. This isn’t fair.” Said Brian as he stepped across the stage.

Peter turned to the camera crew and asked, “Can we cut this please?”

“No, sorry mate, we’re live.” Said Patrick, the chief cameraman.

“Come on Brian, let’s play fair now. If you wouldn’t mind going back and standing on that cross painted on the floor, then we can go onto the second bonus question. You still have a chance Brian.”

Brian huffed and puffed and went back to stand on the special cross.

“For our final two questions on this lovely show-SECOND CHANCES, I will ask Emily the first question as Brian got this one wrong. Emily, what is the name of the large expanse of water in Scotland that is famous for its monster?”

“Lake Windermere.”

“Absolutely correct Emily. And now for our final answer in this competition and for the bonus of five hundred pounds. What is the name of the large expanse of water in Scotland, noted for its monster?”

“I’m not doing this anymore.” Shouted Brian. “It’s ridiculous. You ask the same question twice. You don’t give anyone a chance. I gave you the right answer and I’m due the five hundred pounds.”

Brian marched toward Peter, his arms flailing. Murmurs erupted in the auditorium. Peter stepped back confused at what was now happening on his beloved stage. Peter turned to ask the chief cameraman to stop filming. Brian stepped closer and thrust his fist forward hitting Peter square on the nose. Peter fell over clutching his bloody face in his hands. Emily darted forward and stood between Brian and Peter, arms outstretched protecting him from another assault by Brian.

“Leave it Brian. Leave it. It’s just a game show.” Said Emily as she bent over Peter and offered him a tissue.

“To you it might be but to me it’s worth six hundred pounds. I gave the right answer and this pillock refuses to give me the money. It’s all a big con. Let me get my hands on him. Stand back.”

Brian was about to throw another punch when the chief cameraman grabbed him by the throat, kneed him in the groin and left him doubled up on the floor.

“Right mate, you’ve had it now. You either get up and get out of this building and never ever come back again or I call the police. What’s it going to be? There's no second chance.”

Brian staggered to his feet, stuck one finger up at the audience, aimed a kick at Peter who was still lying on the floor, his head snuggled in Emily’s lap and exited the stage left.

“Are you two okay?” The chief cameraman asked as he hovered over Emily and Peter.

“Yes, we’re fine,” said Emily as she stroked Peter’s forehead.

“CUT,” called the chief cameraman.