The Adventure of Hypernaught

It’s late, and Jayson is carefully studying his tablet.  It is an antique device, unremarkable on the surface, but Jayson studies it like his life depends on it.

Suddenly, the screen goes red.  “I knew it,” Jayson mutters to himself.  He activates the report screen, preparing to warn the Grand Minister of the emergency.

But what’s this?  Zounds!  The emergency button rejects his input!  Jayson jumps up immediately, for he knows only one foe who can mess with his tools so thoroughly.  The Mars Bugs have returned!  Quickly, Jayson activates a device attached to his wrist.  It begins to rev like a car engine, until finally it bursts like a supernova.  Suddenly, Jayson is no longer a mere boy.

Fully prepared, Hypernaught rushes to the throne room, carrying the secret plans under his arm.  He bows before the queen.  As he gives his report, the queen smiles knowingly.  “Go, Hypernaught,” she says finally.  “Take your report directly to planet AZ, sector BW, lane 5.  That is where the Grand Minister manages all the galaxy’s records.  You must make it within 2 days!”

Hypernaught is astounded.  A solo mission?  All the way to planet AZ!?  Finally, he would have a chance to prove himself!  Running through the palace, he arrives at the landing pad.  Beside the queen’s personal cruiser, his own vehicle, a small short-range cruiser, is waiting.  Hopping in the cockpit, Jay-  I mean Hypernaught blasts off, rocketing away from Sol at beyond light speeds.  

He sets a direct course for planet AZ.  Unbeknownst to him, however, evil eyes are watching, determined to stop his progress.  As he makes his way towards his destination, a huge monster appears!  It’s large and bulbous, one of the greatest weapons of Mars’s Bug colony.  Hypernaught drives toward it bravely, but then notices something important:  It’s so huge, it’s entirely blocking the Hyperspace Highway!

Hypernaught veers off-course, weaving between planets and inter-dimensional pillars as he attempts to find a way around the monster.  Soon he is hopelessly lost, veering around obstacle after obstacle as monsters appear in his path.  Finally, he sees a planet he recognizes.  It’s planet S7, home to one of his greatest allies.  If he can just make it there…

Something comes screaming out of hyperspace, rocketing into his cruiser with a horrible *screeeeeeeech*.  Out of control, engines dead, Hypernaught steers directly into the planet, kicking up a dust storm as he lands.  Bruised and battered, Jayson almost begins to sob.  He had failed.  Then, however, he hears the call he had been waiting for.  “Hypernaught!”  His friend, the great Braxis, appears at the crash sight.

The sight of his friend rejuvenates Hypernaught.  “Braxis, my friend!  I am in dreadful trouble.  Can you help me?”  Braxis stops in his tracks, folding his arms and pouting.  “You still owe me from LAST time.  And remember what happened at my coronation?  You never repay me well.”  

Hypernaught thinks on this for a second.  Then he reaches into his pocket and pulls out one of his tools, a pocket-sized model of the galaxy.  Braxis brightens when he sees it.  “Hey, I know what those are!  I’ve always wanted one,” he says wistfully.  Hypernaught hands him the model.  Braxis perks up again.  “I can have this?”  Hypernaught nods.  Braxis gives him a quick hug and takes the toy.  “Deal!”  he says.  “Come inside!  You can spend the night and in the morning we can send you off.”

The next morning, Hypernaught waves goodbye to Braxis and his father, King of S7.  Overnight, the king had managed to fix the cruiser, and Hypernaught was back on track once again.  He would only have a few hours to reach AZ, but that should be enough.  As he gets on his way once again, he narrowly avoids a territorial creature known as Rotbart, and flies past dragons and other creatures that would have any other pilot shaking in their boots.  Today, however, Hypernaught is better prepared than before, and he blasts through enemy after enemy with ease.  Finally, he arrives at AZ.

It’s a large planet- one of the largest Hypernaught has ever visited.  It’s mottled grey and white betrays its purpose, as its only mission is to hold all the records in the galaxy.  Landing smoothly on the landing dock, Hypernaught rushes in to meet the Grand Minister.  As he approaches her desk, he slows.  He had forgotten how scary she could seem.  Before meeting her, he had thought nothing could match the intimidation of the queen when angry, but now he was nervous, praying he had arrived on time to prevent disaster.

The Minister looks up as he approaches.  She stares at him expectantly, and with a slight smile, as if she already knows what he wants.  Hypernaught gulps and hands her the record.  She glances at it and says, “Thank you.  Let me scan it in really quick.”  She takes it to the computer and zaps it with a laser.  The book is transferred to the computer as pure data.

“Ah, Calvin and Hobbes,” she says with a bright smile.  “It appears to be a couple days late, but luckily for you we have a grace period.  A few more hours and I’d have to fine you.”  She hands Jayson his identification card back.  “Thank you for coming.  If you want to check out another book, feel free to look around.”  Then, happy with the outcome, she returns to what she was doing at her desk.  Jayson mumbles an acknowledgement shyly as he turns to leave.

Hypernaught leaves the planet triumphantly.  Mission accomplished!  He quickly rides back to Planet 1 to give the queen his tiding of success.  With AZ firmly in control of the records, the Mars Bugs have retreated.  The journey back to home went smoothly, as thousands lined the spaceway to congratulate him. Among the crowd, he saw an army with a forest of legendary, glowing swords, a group of mages casting fireworks into the sky, and in one corner, half a dozen colorful kids with squid hair lept through the sky. Once again, the galaxy was saved by the honorable Hypernaught!

Inspired by Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watson