To Kill or Not to Kill

I was the only one who could do it.

Why, you ask? Because I am the knight in shining armor. The hero of the people. The one who gets things done.

So, I embarked on a journey, a quest. To deliver the castle of Mourne and save the town surrounding it from an evil dragon.

The creature had made its nest there a few years ago, but I couldn’t bring myself to hunt it. After so long, though, I couldn’t afford to wait any longer. And nobody else volunteered to do it.

I was the only one who could do it anyway.

My travels took me through muddy roads and filthy cities all around the province. Mourne wasn’t close to home. Everybody knew me, so I had a room in the lord’s castle every time I entered a city. Every night, I was invited to dinner with the magistrates and princesses and barons and lords. Princess’s hands were offered, either subtly or obviously, every time. I gave them an evasive answer every time. This wasn’t the time.

I had a dragon to kill.

Every road I traveled was infested with bandits, goblins, and other foul creatures desperately trying to steal either your life or your money, most of the time both. Bandits scampered off as soon as they finally noticed the insignia on my armor, and the other threats, the less intelligent ones, were dealt with swiftly.

I am the knight in shining armor, after all.

The voyage left me weary, and the closer I got, the more I dreaded my arrival, what I had to do.

Why did it have to be me?

My last stop before Mourne was in the city of Murika. Filthy streets encircled a shining castle standing proud on a mound. I was welcomed quite readily and happily.

I was on the balcony that evening, a drink in my hands, leaning against the rail. The stars were magnificent. I wondered what it would be like to fly through the sky, not for the first time in the last few years.

“What are you doing alone on an evening as lovely as this one, my good knight?”

My pondering was interrupted by the eldest daughter of the local baron. Beautiful, gorgeous even, if I was being honest. But I didn’t feel like talking that night.

“I came here to prepare myself for tomorrow,” I said, hoping she’d let me to it.

“Is that why you have not taken even a sip of your drink?” She approached the railing and laid her hands on it. I looked at the glass in my hand, dangling over the courtyard below.

“I guess so.”

“Is there some way I could help in your preparation?”

I knew exactly what she was implying.

“Not really, no.”

She approached and laid a hand on my cheek, the other on my arm.

“Are you sure?”

I had to admit, I was almost tempted. But thoughts of the dragon kept popping inside my head, and I could not do it.

“Yes, I am. I’m sorry.”

She sniffed then stepped back.

“Am I not attractive enough?”

“Quite the contrary. But tomorrow’s ordeal keeps me from thinking of anything else. I fear I would not be able to satisfy you this night, my lady.”

“I see.” She remained silent, and I could tell she was mad. “Will you come to see me again after the deed is done?”

“If I survive.”

“You will.”

I huffed a laugh and finally took a sip of my drink.

“I guess I have no choice, then.”

The corner of her lips lifted a little. “Indeed.”

I left the railing and took her hand in mine, bowing slightly but keeping eye contact.

“It’s a promise, then. If I survive tomorrow, I will return here and visit you.”

“Good.” She was smiling then. I had heard of her, of course. She was the kind of woman that always got what she wanted. She had compromised, but she’d still have what she desired of me. She had no doubt I could survive.

I doubted.

Millicent. A strong name for a remarkable woman. I was lucky she even noticed me. Well, I am The Folk Hero, but still. I’d have something to look forward to.

“I shall take my leave, then, and await your triumphant return.”

“Thank you. May your evening be as excellent as your company.”

She smirked and left me alone again. I couldn’t imagine what a settled life would be like. I wouldn’t be traveling as much. That much was sure. And we’d have kids running around, too. What would I look like with a kid on my lap? Would I look out of place? I took another sip and looked down at the city.

“How many times would I have to fetch them down there?” I whispered.

They’d probably sneak out of the castle every day to run around in the muck of the city, like I used to do.

I shook my head. I shouldn’t be thinking of things like this. Not now. What was I thinking, getting my hopes up like that?

I downed the rest of the brownish liquor in my glass and turned to the bustling ballroom, chatter and clinking just a tad louder than the musicians playing in the center of the room. I had to brave the crowd to get out of here. I had to brave the encouragements and fake a bravado I didn’t have. I took a deep breath and soldiered on, plastering a smile on my face.

I was up before dawn the following day. I wanted to leave before anyone would notice. I readied my horse and filled the saddlebags with food the kitchen staff gave me. Only they knew I was leaving. It was better that way. My sword was safely fastened under the saddlebags. I was ready to go.

Did I want to, though?

I wasn’t so sure anymore. But I didn’t have a choice. This was something only I could do, and it was something that needed to be done.

But why me?

The sun rose over the horizon as I passed through the city gates. Would this be the last sunrise I would ever see?

The road I had to take led me through the forest and next to a beautiful lake. It almost looked like there were stars stuck on the water’s surface, aching to be free. I imagined I was one of those stars, stuck in place, unable to get out.

I reached Mourne as the sun crested overhead. I stopped on the road just outside what was left standing of the city gates to eat, hitching my horse to a tree. It seemed the dragon had been thorough in his destruction of the city. I didn’t think there was anyone left alive.

From where I was, half the buildings I could see were destroyed, either partly or entirely, and the others were on the verge of collapse. All of them were charred. Deep, large gouges marred most of them. And the wall hadn’t fared much better, either. Funny thing was, if I just turned around and looked away from the city, the grass was green, swaying in the wind, the trees stood tall and healthy, the sky was blue, fat clouds rolling through.

It almost felt like the dragon had destroyed things and lives that would make sure it would be hunted down. Like it maybe hoped for someone to put an end to its misery.

I finished my meal of cheese and bread and entered the city proper. It was eerily silent. Charred corpses littered the ground, pointing towards the gate or lying there like someone had stopped trying to flee.

I made my way to the castle, climbing over debris, going around when I couldn’t. When I finally reached the front gates, one was unhinged and hanging to the side, the other was missing its upper half. I didn’t even know where it was.

Then I heard the roar. It had sensed my arrival. I hurried inside and stepped out of the shadow of the gate at the same time that the dragon appeared over the castle. I stepped back and grabbed my sword as it flapped its way down into the courtyard.

Its scales were a shiny red, its eyes yellow, a black slit splitting them in two. Its wings were so large they barely fit in the vast courtyard.

The perfect textbook dragon. Yet I knew him. I heard the rumors about this particular dragon, but I knew him.

And it knew me. His eyes flared in recognition.

It laughed in the air, sending flames and sparks around it.

“The Hero of the People, finally here,” it said, its voice guttural and deep. “The shining knight, in the flesh. Come to finish me off? Come to rid the world of my foul presence?”

“It is something I must do.”

“Oh, it’s something you must do, now, is it? Always so rightful. Always so bound by duty, this knight in shining armor.” It stomped its paw, its claws, almost as long as I was tall, scraping against the stone under it. “Are you ready, Viktor? Are you ready to kill me?”

I didn’t answer.

“Nothing to say? Even after all we’ve been through? Very well.”

The beast reared on its hind legs and I bolted, taking refuge behind the wall beside the gate. A second later, an immense stream of flames roared past me and blasted a house to pieces. The heat alone almost singed my hair off. My armor was hot enough that I was glad for the padding underneath it, for once.

When the fire stopped, I rushed inside and immediately side-stepped a strike of claws. I rolled forward, escaping a bite by a hair, and found myself underneath the dragon. I quickly whispered a command to my blade and it shone brightly. The slash went through the dragon’s scales on its hind leg and it roared in pain.

“You had the perfect chance!” It bellowed. It jumped and swiped at me at the same time. I dodged, but not fast enough and I was pushed aside. I flipped over myself a few times before skidding to a halt. I’d have to do better than that if I wanted to walk out of there alive.

I rose and retreated to a place in my mind where thought was almost non-existent. Only instinct drove me forward.

So I dodged, ducked, and side-stepped through the flurry of claws and flames. I climbed on its leg, then on its back. The dragon roared and flapped its wings, bringing me with it in the air.

I did the only thing I could and held on the spikes on its back. I didn’t even think of looking down. We could have been a thousand feet in the air or merely thirty, but at that moment, I didn’t care.

I had to stop him.

I did something so stupid, in retrospect, that I cringe every time I think about it. I slashed through the thin, yet surprisingly sturdy, membrane of one of the dragon’s wings.

It roared in pain and started flailing, trying vainly to regain control of its fall. I looked down then. We were, very high up. I wasn’t made to be this high up. Humankind wasn’t made to be this high up. The castle below was the size of a squash, and it seemed to be getting slightly bigger by the second.

We were freefalling.

I could only scream as we fell faster and faster, the dragon unable to catch the wind with both wings. I closed my eyes when the castle was seconds away, holding on to the spikes with all my strength.

The dragon crashed through the roof of a lone tower, then through the tower itself. We wound up through the main hall’s ceiling, tearing through the hanging banners. Then, our descent stopped abruptly as the floor of this particular room seemed strong enough to hold us.

I bounced and fell to the side, a good ten feet lower than the dragon’s back. I landed on my back and lost my breath for the gods only knew how long.

When I finally came to, coughing dust, the dragon wasn’t moving. I rose, groaning like an old man, and crept toward its head, happy to hear it still breathing. Its eyes were closed, though.

This would be the perfect moment to kill it.

But I knew him.

I looked at my sword, then at the creature’s neck.

I couldn’t do it.

I looked around the room. The room was large enough to hold two dragons like the one beside me. There were still tables standing with plates on them and plenty of dust. Debris from the fall had flown everywhere. Falling stones had obliterated the throne that was once at the front of the room.

The columns were still standing, though. I bet I could chain the dragon up to those. But I had to make it quick. I didn’t want it to wake up before I was done.

I scoured the rooms close by until I found what was clearly a torture chamber. So close to the main hall, too. No matter, I had chains—a lot of them. I managed to chain up the dragon by the legs and neck to a few columns. I was about to go for the wings when it woke up.

It grunted and huffed a puff of air and sparks. The chains rattled together as it tried to move. I was happy to see that they were holding.

“What is this? Viktor! I know you’re there. Answer me.”

“I’m here,” I said, walking up to its head.

“Why am I chained up? Why am I not dead? Why won’t you kill me, Viktor? You are the knight in shining armor, are you not?”

I looked down. “Yes, I am.”

“Then why? Tell me why you won’t deliver me from this?”

I looked into its eyes. “You know why.”

“I would think that that would be reason enough to help me out of this mess.”

“I could never do that to you, Dragon.”

Its eyes thinned. “Why don’t you call me by my name? Are you ashamed?”

“Of course not.”

It smiled. “You are, are you? If you are, then finish me off. That would take the taint off of you.”

My lips thinned. “It would only taint me in another way.”

The dragon yanked on its chains. “I’ll force you to kill me! I swear, Viktor, my life will end by your blade. Didn’t you see the dead I left in my wake? Doesn’t that make you want to end me all the more?”

“Stop saying that.”

“Why, Viktor? Tell me why.”

My hands balled into fists, and I ground my teeth.

He yanked on the chains again.

“Tell me,” he bellowed.

“Because I could never kill my brother!” I finally answered.

The finality of announcing that this dragon, the monster that had utterly destroyed a city and killed hundreds if not thousands, was my brother made me drop my sword and fall to my knees.

“How could I ever kill my younger brother? Even if you did all of this, I could never end the life of the little brat who kept following me around when we were little, getting himself in all kinds of trouble.”

We stared into each other’s eyes for a moment.

“Remember when we went to the Old Lady’s Pond?” I asked him, a fond smile on my lips. “Remember how we ate almost all that pie on the windowsill and she found us? We weren’t hiding very well anyway. She chased us around the marsh, threatening to change us into frogs. She was almost on us when you told me to go, that you would hold her off.

“I remember stopping short, surprised by your courage, small as you were. I decided then that I wouldn’t let anything happen to you. Then father came and convinced her to let us go.”

I looked at Conrad, my brother, and spied a gleam in his eyes.

“I remember Father gave us quite the verbal lashing afterward,” he said.

“Yes, I remember it too. ‘Princes shouldn’t be caught stealing pies on windowsills!’ He used to say stuff like that all the time.”

“Of course, we kept getting ourselves in trouble.”

We laughed together for the first time in a good long while.

Then we grew serious.

“Please kill me, Viktor. You’re the only one who can. You know how the curse works as much as I do.”

I sighed, tears pooling in my eyes. “I know.”

“Think not of it as killing me, but as delivering me of my sorrow. I was dead the moment the curse was cast on me.”

“I know. It still hurts, Conrad.”

“I know.”

I took my sword and rose. I walked over to him and then sat against his neck.

“Can we at least talk until morning?”

He smiled. “Sure.”

We talked all the way through the afternoon, then the evening, and then the night. We spoke of the past, I told him of Millicent and how I’d like to settle down, maybe. We laughed, we cried, we discussed things that were never said. There were no secrets left between us come morning.

The sun rose and cast its light on both of us through the stained glass on the other side of the room. Conrad was sleeping, his snores soft and rumbling through me like a cat’s purr.

I decided that while he slept was the best time. I stood before him, my sword hovering next to his eye. It would be over instantly. He would not even feel it. He fell asleep and would simply not wake up.

“Goodbye, brother. I love you.”