C.O.M.E.O.U.T: Coming Out of My Ease With an Oddly Unusual Tragedy

For eleven months I’ve been locked in my home. The reason? Imminent death of course. School got canceled and at first, I was like, this is the best day of my life. I could play games, watch movies, skip class all I wanted- at least that’s what I imagined.

Soon the reality hit and I realized it was anything but the best. I couldn’t go out with my friends, I couldn’t meet my relatives and I couldn’t even get out of the house. My studies were making progress all right, in the backward direction that is.

Things weren’t looking so good. At this point, I was actually missing the school bullies and their wedgies. Okay, maybe not that but I was definitely missing school. I’d even take on the full lecture course of the students’ league about politics and all that crap, though I didn’t want to. But if I could make it to school for that, you bet your ass I would.

Lately, the lockdown became a bit too lax. And my patience was all but dry. I scrolled down my phone’s contacts in the hope of a certain something. Namely, I wanted to get out of the house, a.s.a.p. Wait, do I even have friends? It’d been so long that I forgot what friendship even was. Online meeting was great and all but it wasn’t very fulfilling. And after a while, all my friends gave up on that stuff, and nowadays all we did was say hello to each other and moved on.

My fingers never felt so heavy. After half an hour of mindless tapping and agonizing over everything I gave a call to my best friend Aria. Apparently, she was the closest friend I had. But I hadn’t talked to her in like over two months now. We often exchanged texts, but talking to the real person was a different thing. I was a little hesitant, to say the least.

“Hello?” Her voice sounded a little different. It was probably just my imagination.

“I’ll get down to business. I want to meet up and take you somewhere.” I didn’t waste time. I didn’t want to.

“Sounds sketchy. I’ll pass,” Aria dismissed me without a second thought.

Did I word that wrong? Am I forgetting how to talk or something? I wasn’t going down that easily though. “I beg of thee o’great Aria. Bless this poor soul with thy presence.” Good thing I watched so many classics. My time in lockdown wasn’t wasted; I sure hoped it wasn’t.

Suddenly Aria’s voice became all serious. “Okay who are you and what have you done with that good for nothing moron?”

“Hey! I’m not a moron!”

“Good, you’re still the same person I guess. So what do you want, Daniel Sanders?”

It felt weird when she called my name. These days even my parents had stopped calling me by name. All they called me was Danny this, Danny that.

“I just want to hang out. I’m bored.”

“You do realize what’s going on outside right? People are dying.” Though I couldn’t see her over the phone I could swear that she rolled her eyes just from talking with her.

“People die all the time. I’m gonna die too if I stay in here for too long. Save me!”I was desperate.

Aria sighed. “Fine. Be in front of the rail station before 10. I think I need to do some grocery shopping anyway.”

“As you wish.”

“And stop acting like that. You sound creepy.”

With a dejected laugh, I ended the call but my heart was warm. At least I got her to agree to hang out, though she’d only be doing some shopping. So what does that make me? Her minion? Wouldn’t that make her a villain? I was probably overthinking things.

I got dressed like I always do. But halfway through I realized, shit, I screwed up. Who knew wearing pants was such a complicated job? I felt a little weird while wearing it… almost like I was missing something…. the belt! I almost missed my belt!

On my way to the door, I was stopped seven times but by seven different people. My family didn’t want me leaving the house, and they were like, “It’s a pandemic. You can’t be too cautious. Tell me what you need, I’ll order it for you.” My father even went as far as to tell me that if I leave the house now he’ll drown me in hand sanitizer later. Is that even legal? I ignored everyone and went out anyway. Finally free. Wait, don’t I have online school at ten? Shit…. Oh well. Who cared about studies anyway?

Ten steps out of the house and I was stopped by a police officer. I looked like a boy caught smoking meth. With sweat pouring from all my pores, I turned to the officer and offered a greeting.

“You look underage. Do you have a reason for being out or-“

I was glad Aria was going out shopping. I had a legit excuse. “I was actually supposed to go shopping.”

“Shopping I see. Where is your mask?” The officer didn’t waste time. It was a casual thing for him like nothing mattered anymore.

Oh shit. And there it was my first blunder. Just ten steps out of the house and I already forgot something important. “I-I’ll go get it.” I turned around and ran back without looking. The officer didn’t say anything. Was he used to this? Definitely.

I still couldn’t forget the smiling faces of my parents. They probably thought I’d change my mind halfway. Their faces went sour the moment I picked up a new mask and went out though.

When I came back, the police officer wasn’t there anymore. With a sigh of relief, I made my way for the rail station.

Normally there’d be huge traffic on roads, but today there was none. Everything was fine. Everything was awesome, except I was stopped and asked the same questions a gazillion times. There were other people out too, couldn’t the officers see them? Just because I was seventeen didn’t give them the right to harass me every ten meters.

I’d left my home early but arrived at the spot late. Aria stood there looking pretty: her beauty was a little dampened by her long baggy mask. She was a thin brunette with a rather flamboyant appearance: the reason being, my lateness. She valued punctuality above all. And here I was, late by half an hour.

She looked at me and rolled her eyes. “I thought I told you to be here before ten, not eleven.”

Wait, it’s been only half an hour not one- “Sorry. I kind of-“

“I don’t have time for your excuses. Let’s go.” She was mad but at least she was sane.

I followed her to the supermarket. I did frown a little but hopefully, she didn’t see that.

“Hands?” The guard at the entrance was spraying sanitizer over everyone’s hands.

I offered my hands. “Would you mind not wetting them too much?”

He didn’t wet my hands too much but gave a solid spray on my face anyway. I almost punched him or I would have if I was alone. Aria pulled me out of the way before I could. “Don’t bother with the likes of him,” she said. Honestly, was that even legal? I wanted to sue him too. Oh wait, I’m underaged.

The place was nearly empty, that’s what I thought but it wasn’t. People were just evenly spaced. The few people that were here definitely didn’t want to be here.

Both of us maintained our distance as we strolled down the aisles. I picked up a razor and she took care of her groceries. Should I buy blades too? I couldn’t decide and I couldn’t ask Aria’s help either. She was a girl after all.

And everything was perfect. I finally had my freedom. At least that’s what I wanted to say, but it wasn’t.

First of all, my speech was literally stuttering. I forgot how to even talk let alone hold a proper conversation. What the hell am I even doing here?

And so there was awkward silence ever-present. It would have been fine if that was it. But it wasn’t. There was a long, long line before the counter. The reason? Social distancing of course. Everybody stood six feet apart and an employee even made sure that everyone followed protocol. Wait- there was a job for such a thing?

When we reached the counter, by a miraculous feat, my nose started to itch. I scratched it and the next thing I knew everybody was running away from me like I had a bomb or something: apparently I’d just sneezed. There was clear fright in their eyes.

“You are okay right?” Aria asked, a little cautious.

“…” I just stood dumbfounded. Is this how terrorists feel?

“I’ll take that a yes.” Aria didn’t say anything else. None of the staff members said anything either.

We paid for our stuff and came out.

I saw them spraying sanitizer everywhere after I left. Just what kind of world are we living in? The guard gave me a vulgar grin too but I just sucked it up and returned a smile to him. For some reason, that kind of pissed him off which made me chuckled harder.

 “That was fun…” I said, looking at a distance. It was anything but fun. In fact, it was torture. This whole day was torture. Did God create me just to torture me?

“Yeah kind of. You really know how to get on people’s bad side. “Aria chuckled. This was her first laugh of the day and probably the last. She wasn’t much of a humorous person. ”Where do you wanna go next?”

I blinked. “Me? I thought that was it.” I didn’t plan anything after all. Everything was the result of just an impulse.

“You seriously called me out and not even gonna talk about anything? “Aria saw through everything like it wasn’t even a big deal. Well, it was still a big deal for me.

She was right but I simply had nothing to talk about. I couldn’t remember anything anyway. “So-umm, why not hit a café?” And yet ending things halfway like this seemed kind of sad. Who knew when we’d meet again?

“Café? Are they even open?”

“Wait you’re asking me?” I was kind of surprised.

She gave me a glare. “I don’t see other morons here. So yes, I am asking you.” Her tone was almost sweet, but it wasn’t.

“We-we could always find out right!” I had no frigging clue anyway.

“Sure, let’s go.” She was way too carefree. Maybe I was a little jealous. Strike that, I was definitely jealous: and not just a little but a lot.

To no one’s surprise, most of the cafés were deserted. They were open but no one was inside. That’s a lockdown for you.

But at least they didn’t drown me in sanitizers. I was glad about that.

We were literally the only ones in. So we took down our masks. Felt weird. But at least I could breathe now.

I also got a peek at Aria’s face. She had acne on her face, but as usual, she looked fantastic. She didn’t bother with makeup as it wasn’t something necessary in this pandemic anyway.

And a second later the employee came to us with a smiling face and told us to put our masks back on. He was so polite that it felt like he was mocking us. Maybe he was really mocking us: strike that, he definitely was mocking us.

“I’ll take a strawberry latte.”

“Ice coffee,” Aria said, emotionless.

I almost cringed when the employee left with that vulgar smile of his. Quarantine really did a number on my social skills.

With both of our drinks ordered, we sat tight. Aria occasionally glanced at me and I averted my gaze. Just what the hell am I supposed to be talking with her?

People think just because two humans were best friends they’d have unbeatable chemistry and could talk all day long. Reality was different.

“SO-so how’re your studies?” With nothing else to talk about I switched to the primal discussion of students of ages old. The discussion of utmost importance and boredom: the talk of education.

“They’re going good. I’d say I’ll be able to at least pass with an A.” Aria was confident. Too confident maybe.

“An A?” I stuttered. She almost gave me a complex.

“What you’re not studying?”

How the hell am I supposed to say I haven’t opened any of my books in two months? My books had even caught dust and started to wither away like my sanity. “Kind of.”

“Well, no surprise there. Maybe I’ll start calling you a failure of a junior from now on.” Merciless as always. She was actually flawless with her speech. I was kind of jealous of that too.

Our drinks arrived and things ended unresolved. I wanted to declare that I wasn’t a failure or a junior, in fact, we were of the same age, but the waiter just had to butt in at the last moment. His expression was a little grim when he cut into our conversation but nothing too severe. At least he wasn’t the one from before.

Eating with a mask on was anything but pleasant. I couldn’t take it off; I couldn’t keep it on either. Just end my suffering already! The strawberry latte was good but honestly ordinary latte was probably better. Next time I’ll definitely not pick this one.

Someone knocked on the door and came inside without much of anything. Apparently, he was an officer. You got to be kidding me. It didn’t take him long to spot us and come greet us. I recognized the guy. Isn’t he that guy from the morning? I remembered him almost instantly, after all, I ran from him. He came to with a smile, I smiled back. I felt my cheeks twitch but I didn’t have anything better to do.

“Shopping right?” The officer grinned as he took out his phone. “Can I get your guardian’s number?”

“Can I ask what the matter officer is?” Aria stood up. “We came here to cool down after shopping. Is something the matter? Or did you happen to know his parents or-“

“Calm down miss. I just wanted a friendly chat.” The officer tried to wave around his arms to calm down Aria. Bad call pal, Aria was calm from the start.

“Hmmm, really?” Aria squinted her eyes. “Well, we’ll be off then, so sorry.” She glared at me and I stood up. I only finished half of my cup but she drank her with one gulp.

The officer only glared but didn’t stop us. “Go straight back home. I’m doing this for your own safety and the safety of others.” He wasn’t wrong though and I didn’t blame him either.

We walked toward the railway station again. Aria lived about ten minutes away by train after all. “This is far enough. If you want to hang out again let me know.”

All this time I couldn’t figure out a way to start a proper conversation. I’d started to regret my decision a long while ago. “Ri-right. And thanks for earlier.”

She gave me a sincere smile and corrected her mask. “Don’t worry about it. Those guys are always like that.” Maybe in the end she was just trying to help me overcome my anxiety after all. I smiled back of course. “Your face seems weird enough with that mask on, so don’t bother smiling and making it worse.” And so my smile and heart both crumbled.

I ran back home with a broken heart. Why couldn’t things just go back to normal? I still got stopped along the way about another gazillion times for questioning. Did I look like a criminal that much?

As promised my father sprayed sanitizer on me, but at least he didn’t drown me. I went to the bathroom and took off my clothes and then realized what was missing. I didn’t wear any…. I’d forgotten my underwear. No wonder it felt so chilly.