Febuary 31st

February 31st

By 

Dodge

It was the sun rise of the first February 31st, a new beginning, another new beginning. Yet another benign attempt to see us through. The first day of summer used to be a promise of sawyer and huckleberry adventure now it became a attempt of nigh confused solstice.

About three years ago all the scientists admitted they were wrong. That no one knew facts versus fission from the sovereignty of death, the brave had fallen in vain to the exploits of mob violence and social shunning. The first day of summer almost seemed a cruel winter, and I'm sad to say it was mostly my fault.

We had played it cool, copasetic, not trying to ruffe a few feathers but like crows in a flock we were on our way to murder. I spoke lies by the dollar and made not too much, the pockets being lined didn't matter too much to me as long as I sat comfortable in a sharp tie.

There were shows no more than five minutes at a time, I had a chin you could trust, the cameras would roll, as I played mine. It started as a sandwich in the grocery line. I ordered a simple sandwich in the most confident voice. It would have been easy to say I didn't really care about anything but I struggled. 

No one wrote my lines, I made it up as I went along but made damn sure the context could be subversive, as if a deliberate wink. Truth be told, I always wanted to be an actor in shape or form merely to escape reality for a moment, then there was my found ability to shape it.

Cruelty amused and wit seemed unconscious I didn't believe what I was saying, then again that wasn't my job. My gathering for this occupation was not about what I believed it was about what I could make others believe. Soon I wasn't eating in line. I was having dinner with elbows that carried great fists.

Could you blame me? Some have tried. I would straw man them in a news segment and move on to calamari and over priced whiskey, my eyebrows were on point and I never missed a good quip. Caviar only tastes good when you know others want some.

Like most, I grew up far away from the north pole and I understood that most people don't give a damn about what's not happening in their backyard, my backyard by the way has two guest houses and a pool that sings on to infinity.

Would you fault a bricklayer for an amazing road? Then why fault me for my personable disposition, I dare say borderline folksy.

February 30th took a great deal, I'm proud of that. Conviction and emotional debate, when I came up with the concept (off the cuff by the way) I had no clue it would strike a chord. Before you knew it the calendar came into question, we literally clawed off a day in June to make it happen.

It was a full on campaign, tv spots, bus tours, lectures at universities that would never accept me on paper, yet in person they folded to my whim. I gave speeches to my old alameda that I had dropped out of with no diploma in hand. I got a standing ovation.

I preyed on anger and insecurity, no one wants to feel dumb, i wasn't dumb, I was ignorant. I hate the taste of caviar but I relish the tinge of great champagne.

I could never be married, even though the subject did come up that I should have a few mistresses. I once dated a woman for three months and never even met, that's the job. Her song reached number two on the charts, her third single reached number one when we broke up.

They called me a sociopath, but that's farther from the scope of what I am, I feel, I'm just not too concerned, I never strived to do wrong but then again I never strived to do good either, I just wanted success and that's what I got. Go me.

The future may thank me, the present for the most part already is, buffoons loudly praise me and brilliant minds waste their time to mention me. My bills are paid and then some. I eat at the finest green rooms.

I won't apologize, I'm triumphant. Not many have made such an impact in so little time: five minutes with careful words and an agenda is all you need, sometimes a callback after a commercial.

It's February 31st, the first one in recorded history and I made it happen! Daylight savings time gone, yeah that's me too, I accomplished more being a pundit that most politicians do in a lifetime, I coerce, I enable I make the public. I make change.

I get to combine the freedom of free speech and the free market, if anyone takes me too seriously well that's on them isn't it, its just a job. don't like it try not to listen, I'm catchy.

My shoes are made of the finest fabrics and they refuse to tip toe, only direct when needed and soft enough to slip away. I own seventy-seven watches, I cant tell time but I like to glance at them to avoid questions I don't know the answers to. A simple trick to make them think I'm bored.

Followers will follow, talkers will talk. nature takes its course, I'm not accountable for the chagrin, if anything I'm a orator of needs for means, I'm a gifter of purpose. I learned how to tie a Windsor knot.

February 31st, my follow up to February 30th, I might be mistaken, Caesar was the last one to oversee the changing of the days, what great company to keep.

For all I've done though on this auspicious day, a historic day, I can't seem to understand why I'm walking out at dawn to see a full moon.