How did my long-distance relationship work?

How did my long-distance relationship work?

You know, I really loved him back then. I don't really remember how my feelings matured and became love, but I remember the moment when he and I first kissed, we confided in our love and agreed to be together. It was no surprise to those around us because we are always together, in high school and at home. We study together, we listen to music together, an earpiece shared between his hear and mine, our backs crash on my bed. He was my best friend and became my boyfriend.

The years passed and I was able to get my bachelor's degree but not him. I didn't want to get away from him that's why I stayed here. In this tropical island where we grew up. Continue my studies and my life next to him. My first year, he picks me up at the end of the course, he doesn't study like we did before. He wants to spend as much time as possible with me and I didn't mind because I too missed him every time I'm away from him. I made new friends and they became his friends too.

You know Leah, the crazy girl, my best friend, she knew him. She knew  our story. She knew that when he went to study abroad after having his bachelor's degree I was broken. But it wasn't really his choice, he wasn’t accepted at the same university as me so he went where he was accepted, a thousand kilometers from me.  I've  locked in on myself. Every time he called me, I cried. I cherished every message and text of love he sent me. My life consisted of going to school or staying on the bed reading him or talking to him on the phone.

Tired of me moaning in my sadness Leah brought me to her dance court. I don't know how to dance; you know that, you laughed at me with your crew that night. And I, proud as I was wanted to give you back the coin of your money and did not waste a minute every time, we see each other since that day to challenge you. It didn't take long for you and me to begin the better joker game. Funny  lines here and there to laugh at each other. And I was apprehensive to see you every time I went with Leah to dance. I've even prepared good lines just for you. You'll never get angry; you'll laugh with your friends before you give me a line funnier than mine.

Do you remember New Year's Eve, when after giving a dance performance, you decided on a whim to go to the beach? And your buddies, no, your soldiers would follow you every time you snapped your fingers. I think they are like me, fascinate by you. By your ability to make everyone comfortable and joyful every time you open your mouth. You were their leader, and so was mine if I dared say. You made me happy, vibrant and young.

That night, I had no means of transport, Leah asked you to take me with you as she climbed on the back of her boyfriend's bike. And I didn't want to go home for once, I wanted to party and be alive like all of you. My first experience on a motorcycle was on your bike that night. And I really liked it. Arrive on the beach, the fire, the beers, the music, and stars was all we need to be happy. That night I smoked my first weed when your friend next to me had passed it to me, I took a sniff before giving it to you as if it was nothing abnormal. I'm glad I didn't choke out that moment.

You were directing the conversation with big hearts and you were making everyone laugh. For once I remained silent because I do not know if it was or not the effect of drugs, but I felt good, by your side as if we were in a relationship because all our friends except the two of us was. We danced together with every song you loved. And you kissed me deep when midnight sounded. And I let you do it. I got carried away with my emotions. And not once I have thought about him. And as a successful experiment the first kiss was followed by several others until the early morning. Leah smiled at me with a knowing smile before leaving to go home with her guy. I didn't feel embarrassed, I was... on fire, you lit me up and the feeling was shared because I remember well the fire that danced in your eyes every time you looked at me.

Instead of taking me home, you took me at yours. And one thing leads to the other we slept together. I gave you what I promised to keep for someone else. Passing the shock of knowing that you were my first, you did everything to make me feel good, desired and beautiful. Yes I felt the most beautiful of all women that day when you touched me, caressed me, kissed me and made love to me. I was reborn that day. Nothing was more important to me than, that feeling of warmth that I feel deep inside me when your eyes land on me.

We continued this game without any of us daring to name it. Your friends seem used to seeing us as a couple. None of them commented, which suited me well at the time but now when I think about it, I thought suspiciously because they were not the type to pass up a chance like that to embarrass me. Do you remember that I wanted to have a tattoo and you told me that we are going to ink the same drawing. If I had any doubts before that day, you erased them all, and nothing could hold me to dive down for the love I felt for you. You were the sun that would light up my life.

Can't stand the sense of betrayal I felt towards him. I told him everything. He was devastating. His sister called me and insulted me all the name because I broke the heart of his kind and faithful brother. It saddened me because I knew that he only loved me and I have broken his heart.

I took you to my house, and introduced you to my parents. We were inseparable. Your bike had become my favorite conveyance. We were at the same university, but you were three years older and you were studying smart things like medicine, whereas I'm just doing literature. I don't know what fascinated me most about you, your beauty? your intelligence or your charisma? but I smiled or blushed every time I thought about you.

Do you remember the first time I came face to face with your mother at your house? it was a holiday. We didn't have a class and she didn't work. She called you but you were in the shower so she came to your room and saw me on your bed. She did not say anything. Nor did I, not because I didn't want, but because my shyness complex made me mute. She wanted to talk to you so you followed her into the kitchen and forgot to close the door. I've heard it all. When she asked you who I was, when you answered just a friend and she asked you to stop disappointing them and mess up your life because you're already engaging with Lilie, your fiancée.

I had become all white. It was the first time I felt so humiliated and desperate. Like an automaton I got out of bed and got dressed and walked out of your house quietly because I didn't know what I'd do if I saw your face. I didn't hear you, just your brother trying to convince your mother that I was nothing to you. I cried, screamed, drank, smoked. I didn't want to see you anymore. I don't even go to school for several weeks. Then I decided to transfer to another university. And my parents had approved my decision to start over somewhere else. My father took care of my file because I didn't even have the strength to get out of bed.

I refused any visit, even Leah because I knew she was in contact with you. And I didn't want anything to do with you. You had broken me, destroyed me and destroyed me at the points of being exiled from my hometown.

Two months in another city, another university. I miss the sun, the tropical climate. I have never felt this cold in my life. I opened my Facebook and I unblocked my friends without asking them to readd me. I haven't published anything since but sometimes I watched funny videos online to spend time. I was living with my cousin and she's in leadership. Her school had organized a conference and she had begged me to come with her because there was no way for her alone to take note of all the genius’s speech at that lecture and I agreed to come because I had nothing better to do.

Four hours to go round in circles and four papers fill with note. I found the conference interesting but tiring, I decided I'm done and go wait for my cousin in the car. A moment of inattention and I bump into a wall, raising my head, my surprise to see, right before my eyes, my best friend. Ex best friend because we cut contact after his sister insulted me. We're looking at each other for several minutes. Me, looking at his body from top to bottom, the muscles that were not there before made him very tall next to me. I looked up and he smiled at me. I've never been so relieved to see a smile in my life.

After this conference, I got back in touch with him, we talk, text and see each other when possible. He lived and went to university in the next town. I also got back in touch with Leah, she was still mad at me for shouting her out of my life and I understand. We talk from time to time, but never serious stuff and never about you. I destroyed the beautiful friendship that once existed between her and me.

One evening, before going home for the summer. No more exams and studies. I'm just waiting for the proclamation and the diploma before I leave. He invited me to the cinema. It was a horror movie; I closed my eyes and hid in his chest most of the time we spent in the theater. Instead of laughing like you would have done, he would stroke my hair and kiss me on the head. At the end of the movie, what I hate about horror movies the end is never the end because it was only the beginning so when the monster appeared, I directly smothered a cry and plunge into his arms. He then told me that he would protect me. And that was the most romantic thing I was told. And I kissed him.

When I got home to my parents, I felt a little empty. I don't know if I made the right decision. This seemed to be the right decision when he asked me if I really wanted him, he looked anxious, nervous about my answer. And then his words in the theater came back to me,"I'd protect you." Despite what I did to him, he still wanted me. I'm not sure I'm in love with him but I'm sure he loves me. And I want to be loved, I crave to be loved so I said yes, I wanted him. He then asked me to join him for the summer because he couldn't go home, there was the selection of professional basketball players he needed to attend, but I declined his offer. He seemed disappointed but I wanted to take a little distance to find out what I really wanted to do with my life.

Then one morning, while I was shopping in the local store, choosing apples, my hand and another hand were trying to take the same apple. I recognized the tattoo on your left hand because it's the same one I put in my neck. On a gesture of love, we did it together when there were only the two of us in our world. Like burning, I quickly removed my hand. You seemed surprised to see me. A lot of questions went through your eyes, but none of them came out of your mouth. You asked me how I was doing and I answered well. You looked at me for a long time, your emotions were passing through your eyes. Tenderness? Joy? Determination? I can't say. But you  didn't say anything either,  you greeted me and left. I froze there for a longtime after you left. My phone started ringing wake me up from my amazement and it was him. He wanted to inform me that he was selected and entered the pro world of basketball. His joy was contagious, and I began to congratulate him and tell him that he deserved it. He asked me again to come and I declined again.

At the end of the week my cousin who had come to my house for a week of the summer wanted to go out, so I took her to reputable discos and we ended up in the black box after going around town. I first go to the toilet before following my cousin to the bar. That's when I saw your crew. They looked bigger but still spoke the same idiocy. I had decided to come and greet them but I stopped a few steps from my goal when I heard a name, Lilie, your friends joke about a girl who only blushed. It must be her  Lilie. A small woman with the face of an angel, very long hair that shines like gold and. I was staring at her for a while before turning my gaze and my eyes stopped on a familiar face, Leah. Her look was neutral but I know she didn't want me there so I turned back and headed towards my cousin. We didn't stay long, because I invented a headache so I could go home.

The next day, the ringing of my phone woke me up. I dreamed of you maybe that's why I had hoped that it was you who called me. But it wasn't you, it was him. They had just gone out all night and he was drunk, he cried, he told me he was afraid of losing me again. He couldn't think clearly, he was constantly living in fear of losing me when I was far from him. I started also crying because he wasn't you and I'm not Lilie. That morning I made a decision, that I was going to move forward with him without looking back because he is a good person and he deserves my loyalty.

Ten years later, I ran into you. By taking my seven-year-old daughter to the dentist in the city where we were passing by. We got into the habit of following him in his tournaments when my daughter is on vacation. You were the dentist with whom my husband's agent, who is his sister, had made an appointment with us. We looked at each other for a moment lost in our thoughts. Ten years without seeing each other and nothing to say to each other? or our feelings are always as strong as before they leave us without a voice.  It was my daughter's cry that  completed the silence between the two of us. During that time I was looking at your office.  You had to be the best dentist in town so my  sister-in-law  could trust you with her niece. On your desk, a picture frame of three person, your family. Two boys, and their mom, Lilie.

I do not know why I wrote this long letter. But I'm determined to send it to you. I don't expect anything from you. And I have nothing left to offer you. I just want you to know that fate was against us, but I don't regret anything. I don’t blame you either. Those pains I went through when I cut the ropes with you have matured me. The love I felt for you at the time was the most beautiful thing a human being should experience at least once in a lifetime. All I went through at the time made me the person I am now. And I thank you for being one of the people who changed my life.  Because today I love myself and my family.