Now what?

Shouting from the other room, people drunk all over the place while Jack was falling asleep in my arms. My heart was pounding in my chest, another night awake and trying to be alive. My brother thought he could do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted and that is was my father’s traits evolution on his blood. I think the drinking was too. How could I know, the only thing I remember is he beating the shit out of mom and then running to his friend’s house, one day he never came back. 

Jack was so pure, so little, I was scared for him more than I was ever scared for myself. When he was born, I had promised his mom that I would love and take care of this little creature. I was working two jobs trying to get out of that house, the house my mom left for me and my brother, but he decided it was his and no one could do anything about it. The lawyers said I was the oldest and for that reason, I should be the one to decide what to do with it, but my brother seems to think differently. 

Mom was the sweetest person I have ever met, the best singer, she was so talented! She was amazing and strong, she was always going out of her way to take good care of her children, but no matter what, she always turned on the ground, blood leaving her body and her eyes full of pain. She always accepted me for who I am, she loved me and was always there for me. 

When the shouting stopped, the sun was already rising again and I would have to leave for work soon, I put Jack on the bed and tried to see if there was someone awake, no sounds, my brother should be passed out somewhere in the house. I found the key to the door, I gave a kiss on Jack’s forehead and left, locked the door on my way out. I took my clothes and while I was walking to the bathroom, I saw a shadow on the floor, behind me, there he was. 

“Well, little princess, how is my son doing?” 

“He is not your son, leave him alone.”

“Yes he is, you are an ass hole that can’t have your own, stole mine, and act like nothing is wrong” 

“Jane was his mother, but you? Nothing.”

“Listen to me, your little shit, I’ll beat the hell out of you! Better take this skirt out, Lucas”.

“Leave me alone, go do nothing anywhere else. My name is Lilith, but why would I waste my time telling you that again?”

“Look, if my son turns to a monster like you, you’re dead.”

“I would be worried if he turned to be like you.”

He raised his arms up and was about to hit me, but Jack started crying and I ran to his door when I was sure Jared was far enough, I opened the door and hugged Jack. I took his things, put them out in a huge bag, and decided to just head up to work. When I left my car was trashed, I do not know what I was feeling at that very moment, all I know is that Jack was almost asleep again when Jared came furiously trying to get him out of my arms.

“Where do you think you are going with my son?!” the smell of the scotch was too strong that I could say I was drunk only by being near him.

“I’m going to take him to school, you know, the place you should had gone when you were out breaking laws and punching people.” I know he was trashed and furious and I should be careful with my words, but I was so tired of all that shit.

“You went there and look what you have become.”

“A better person than you, for sure.”

“Shut your mouth!”

My heart was racing, Jack was scared, and I was way out of my normal behavior, some neighbors were starting to crowd around, but they were too scared of him to something, but also, he was a little bit smart, after all, he would not hit me there, where them all could see. Finally, he started teasing me about my clothes and yell to all the people around me that I was a monster that deserved to be punished. I was trying so hard not to cry, after all those years, I was stronger, I could not let him win, again.

“Leave her alone.” A girl came towards me and took Jack’s bag, helping me to stabilize my scared body.

“Who the hell you think you are?” Jared was pissed and trying to come in our direction, but his feet were like noodles and was almost impossible for him to walk.

“My car is just across the street; I can give you a ride.” The accent was strong and then I finally realized who she was, the new girl from the café I worked in at the weekends. I walked with her.

Everyone was watching us in silence, including Jared, who for the first time ever, was quiet. When we finally got to her car, I said, “thank you” and she just nodded. She started the motor and then I let out my breathing that I was holding and until that moment had no idea.

“Lilith, I’m going to make a quick stop at the supermarket, grab something for us to eat, and then we can go somewhere safe.” I couldn’t find words to answer her, so I just smiled.

Jack was holding my sweater and when she left, he started crying and crying. I told him everything would be okay, even though I had no idea about anything after that point. All I know is that I would never return to that place. I wonder what would happen if she…

Jared and Jane was a fling, he left her after she got pregnant and my mom and I tried to make him do the right thing, but he just denied everything, until one day Jane came and handed Jack, said she couldn’t do it, days after we found out she had left the city. She used to send letters to me at first, but when mom died, she disappeared too. I was all alone with Jack and that monster I dare to call brother. 

“Where are we headed?”

“Anywhere safe, but from there, what?”

I don’t know what is coming next, but I left the last person I called family, or at least or blood said. Jack was safe, so was I. That’s what matters now.