I want to Start Dating

I'm a baby boomer. I have two children. One is a Millennial, and the other doesn't want to be part of the Gen Z class. but is right on the cusp of both, So I call him Gen XYZ. Have you ever stopped and thought about your life, and what has changed? Wondered if you are going to be able to keep up, or are you going to be left behind, Things were so much simpler when you were growing up. I divorced my children's father after I stood in the hallway listening to him tell another woman on the phone that he loves her. So, I saved as much money as I could packed up the house while he was at work and moved across town. I made the mistake of leaving my money in our joint account. Needless to say, he took out all of the money. I was left destitute. I had just sent my daughter to college and my son, and I had to live with relatives. until I got back on my feet.

I love my children. (You have to say that sometimes.) I worked 3 jobs so that my children could go to college, and work in fields that have nothing to do with the degrees that they have. So, raise your hand if you think that I should be upset that I barely had time to feed my dog for 10 years because I was spending every extra dollar that I had taking out loans, using buses, and trains, always alone.

Don't get me wrong. One has a job that pays $20 an hour and the other has a job that pays $25 an hour. But I worked hard for a degree in Political Science, and a degree in Psychology. LOL!!

I should have a Lawyer, and a Psychiatrist. LOL !! Not a Healthcare worker, and a car company delivery driver. I should be glad that they are self sufficient , and don't live at home.

So, my children are finally gone I am divorced, I can slow down and take care of myself. I decide that I want to start dating. It's been a long time. I met my Ex- husband when I was in my 20's. We were together for 200 years altogether before and after our marriage and children. It had been a Loooong time since I had been on a date. So I asked my kids for help. My kids say," Ok mom .So we need to do somethings to get you ready.( I thought that we were going to go buy an outfit, get my hair done, Mannie Peddie's, etc. ) Wrong!!! I was dropkicked into the 21st Century. They said, "People go on dating cites now." We need to set up your profile. What happened to having a gentleman pick you up, maybe going out dancing and dinner maybe. My children say that it's no longer done that way anymore. You don't have them pick you up because you don't want them to know where you live, you don't have dinner , you have drinks. This way if you don't like him you can leave, and you are not stuck on a bad date. So apparently I'm supposed to know if I like you by your profile. You swipe left if you like him and swipe right if you don't, or is it swipe right if you like him, and left if you don't. Your gonna need to stay away from this dating app. because they only want booty calls, this one you have to pay for, and this one only has dirty old men on it. You need a Facebook page, a Twitter page, and an Instagram page. Tik Tok, a Smart phone, a New Laptop, a Smart Watch, a Smart T.V., and a Smart car with a back-up camera, an automatic breaking system, self parking, self driving, talking car, with only two seats that you plug into the wall in your garage at home.

You gotta take Yoga classes, drink Smart water. I don't know how smart it is too pay $2 for a bottle of water. You gotta eat Vegan. which apparently is not the same as being a vegetarian. Order your food, clothes, meals, etc. online, and have it delivered. work from home.

Everybody does everything on Zoom now. Zoom office meetings, Zoom Family meeting, Zoom parties, Zoom dating. I was hoping for a face to face date, but my children say that this is how it is done now. Now everything I own is smarter than I am. If it doesn't talk to me then my daughter's boyfriend who is a Certified member of the Geek Squad will fix it and make it better. He will change my passwords from, Birthday 2020 to Birth20&%$z7qd (What? !!).He says that my password was not strong enough' Hell I couldn't remember the other one. My food tastes like salted cardboard that has a weird smell. I can have regular wine. but Lite beer. I hate green tea. Everything is a Gummie bear except a gummie bears. We have gummie vitamins, gummies for energy, constipation, diarrhea, to stay awake, to gain weight , to loose weight to go to sleep, to stay awake, etc., and the gummie bear no longer can have sugar, color, taste, MSG Red Die number 14. They can't be in the shape of bears, have a bear on the packaging, or even use the word bear, because we don.t want to encourage our children ( who by the way seem to need an IPad when they are born) to associate the non candy with a ferocious animal who wears pants and puts out fires, or doesn't wear pants but needs to use Northern Toilet paper. They are just called gummies.

Yoga is kicking my butt. I can't do the "crouching dragon hidden tiger." ?? I'm getting rounder by the day. I needed a dash cam, a doorbell camera, a selfie stick, , Does it really take this much to get a date. So, my advice to you is. If you want to go out on a date, and you are Thinking of asking your children, "Please Don't Do It."

Thank You

Ethel O'Quin