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Bedtime Fantasy Funny

First of all I’m not the boy who cried wolf. To some extent however small I did truly believe we were in danger. Perhaps I manifested the entire situation-you know. They do say if you think hard enough about something it will happen. Oh what, so it makes sense when self-help positive affirmationists say it but when I do its crazy!

That was my defence. It wasn’t strong, but hey it’s not like I had sufficient time to perfect it. The lions where all over the place. Lions not wolves. And three of the seven chiefs wanted my head for the life stock they had devoured. Years-worth of goats, cows, and sheep were gone. No-one would be eaten, but what good what that, if there was nothing left for us to eat.

“He has destroyed the whole of Mutare!” I could already hear Mambo Simba saying, his old fashioned staff raised to the sky in rage. Not me, the lions my big mouth would say, if I wasn’t in so much troub-

I froze. As though every muscle in my body had decided to contract at the same time, keeping me tightly constricted, restricting me. My mind froze too, robbing me of my wit and wisdom, leaving me blank and cold and frozen. Only my heart moved in rapid duh duh motions that made me feel sick. I stayed frozen long after the gentle graze of rough fur had passed me.

-le.

Slowly I regained control of my body. I could still feel the tingle on my left bicep but I had enough of my body to move despite it. I knew my mind was fully functioning because I thought with a small smile- who would have thought my own lies would affect me. No lions, No lions I whispered to myself. If one of my lies really did cause all of this maybe another one of them could fix it

A few days earlier…………

The spirit world was at odds. Not over power or wealth or control for such things were too trivial to attract the attention of beings so great, no the spirit world was at odds over rime. An ancient game. It was like charades, only rocks with worlds would be held up rather than cards and different spirits would take turns acting until someone guessed what world was on the rock. This round of rime was particularly challenging because the worlds in question were histoture worlds- ones that contained futuristic and historic elements. After a few good rounds commotion broke out over a particular world.

“Zomawi! That’s not Zomawi its Mutare” one deity shouted.

“Of course it’s Zomawi you don’t get the point” came the reply

And just like that the spirit world was divided into two- those who thought the point should be given and those who felt it should not. The fighting did not cease, one insult was hurled and it was fought with another. There would be no more playing and no more peace until this matter was resolved. As per the rules of the game no spirit could go down to see- they would have to determine who was right from the spirit world. “Maybe we can set something on the rock, something to raise emotion like fear- then all we need to do is feel where this fear is coming from and we will have our answer” a water spirit suggested. There was hesitation but eventually it was decided that, that was what they would do.

“A flood!” was suggested with enthusiasm. But the suggestion was rejected as it would kill innocent people.

“Plague” was met with the same response.

“Frogs” they were animals and animal spirits could easily prevent them harming people, but they wouldn’t produce enough fear.

“Lions” they were large enough to produce fear in humans and could be prevented from harming people. “And what of life stock?” an earth spirit asked “We cannot prevent them eating life stock.”

“We can replace it- after we know whether to give the point or not” an animal spirit replied.

And so it was settled- lions would be unleashed on the world on the rock and whichever world’s fear rose would be that world.

“Lions! Lions!” shouted Tambo from the fields. He was the laziest boy who ever walked. Every time he had a task in the fields he would go out- then minutes later run back shouting lions or bears or tigers, whatever his quick lips could come up with. Today was no different. He ran back shouting at the top of his lungs. The best reaction he got was an eye roll- by now everyone knew Tambo’s trick. Unbeknown to them, or him, today was not like other days.

“Lions!” came a voice from a little outside the village. It was met with the same indifference. “He’s found a friend to act with him not” joked and laughter erupted. The voice got louder and louder until its source could be seen. A slender man in a grey suit with his hair standing and his face soaked in sweat. “There are lions” he said, slightly more composed at the sight of people. “Everywhere. All over the world there are lions…….” He stopped again to breathe. Heavy quick breathes. “They aren’t eating people” he added “the lions I mean.” His words were met with silence, panicked silence. Had he been a silly boy with a silver tongue it would be a different story. But this was a grown man and the fear in his eyes could not be mistaken. Within less than a minute all seven chiefs were called to hear him out and the rest of the village stood watching and waiting to see what would be done.

 “Maybe someone has cursed us” someone said, breaking this silence. Then all eyes were on Tambo. Only one person had ever spoken about descending lions.

 “It’s the boys fault!” Mambo Simba said. Two other chiefs concurred. But before any more discussion could take place they descended, the lions. Slowly they walked towards the gathering. They were much larger than anyone thought any animal could be- with gigantic heads and teeth.

The meeting scattered as people began running for their lives. For an hour they ate everything-but the people.

Then like they were children drawn to a piper only they could hear they left, just as they had arrived.

Like magic they just began walking away. They didn’t even turn back. The lions that had been in the middle of a meal simple stopped eating and started walking. Maybe those self-help positive affirmationists were onto something. “Money, its raining money!” I shouted.

August 18, 2021 15:45

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