either way I have to shoot you

There was the sound of an unmistakable click. It resonated in the intimate space between them. Su Wei turned around, and was faced with the end of a gun pointed at her chest. It was Taleen at the other end of the gun, holding the weapon, steadily, with her left hand. Her face was unmoving, her grimace eyes behind her round glasses fixed upon Su Wei. Su Wei looked from Taleen’s index finger on the trigger, back up to her eyes, and slowly rose her hands in the air.

“On your knees.” Taleen demanded, her feminine voice wasn’t threatening, but it was serious, the condensation from her exhale visible. She was glad Su Wei didn’t put up a fight about her eight hundred dollar pair of slacks. Su Wei got on her knees without a word, her hands still in the air, the women never taking their eyes off each other. Taleen’s face became more sinister, the street light above them gave shadows under her hooded eyes and frames.

“Are you going to kill me?” Su Wei asked.

“I haven’t decided yet.” Taleen answered, looking down at the other, her gun still pointed at her a couple feet away.

“Taleen, baby, what's going on?”

“I was cut a deal. I can have the money myself if I take you down. Those were the conditions.”

“You ratted on me?” Su Wei’s eyebrows creased together. Taleen could tell by her voice and expression that that’s what upsetted her the most. “But we were supposed to take the money ourselves and run away together.”

“There was a change of plans.” Taleen argued. 

“Who put you up to this?”

“Jerry.”

“Jerry told you to do this?” Su Wei asked in disbelief, her eyebrows raising, though she kept her hands in place. Taleen nodded.

“He told me to dispose of you one way or another,”

“So you’re going to shoot me?”

“You shot me first!”

“That was months ago.” Su Wei scoffed with a bored tone. “Taleen, honey, you really gotta let that go. Besides, it wasn’t enough to kill you anyway.” There was a moment of silence between them. Su Wei sighed. “So you want to betray me all because I betrayed you?” She asked in a quieter tone. Taleen’s eyebrows relaxed from their furrowed state. She turned her head, looking at the wet pavement around them. 

“I don’t know.” Taleen whispered.

“I love you. Don’t you love me too?”

The question caught Taleen’s attention again. She looked back down at the woman in front of her whom she pointed the gun at. From Su Wei’s brown eyes, to her ruby red lipstick, to her soft hands in the air that Taleen cared so much to hold. 

Su Wei was Taleen’s first love. She loved everything about her. Her long black hair, the face she makes when she gets something she wants, her deep voice. Taleen fell so deeply in love with her, from every touch on her cheek to every kiss that left lipstick marks. They met on the job years ago, welcomed with the rest of the members in the organization, where they had become close. Money laundering was apparently a skill only very few had, and after Su Wei and Taleen got a hold of the funds they were told to take during a mission, that money was distributed back into the organization. Jerry is one of the heads of the organization. After she recovered from her gun wound, Taleen was livid enough towards Su Wei to tell Jerry about Su Wei’s plan to drain the organization of all they had and run off with it. Jerry gave Taleen an alternative in order to stay with the organization and not get hunted down. And with the rocky past couple of months she and Su Wei had together, Taleen took the deal. But although she shot her, although she never paid a visit to her in the hospital, or brought her soup and flowers at home, Taleen still couldn’t help but think of Su Wei every second of every day. Because she was her first love. Her only love. And she still loved her.

“I… do love you.”

Taleen just isn’t that person. The person to betray someone. Not even as an act of revenge. Everyone at the organization knows that. Taleen kinda hates that Su Wei knows that. Su Wei wasn’t scared of her. Taleen squeezed her eyes shut and she moved her glasses out of the way to rub her kids with her right hand. Su Wei grounded a foot on the pavement to stand up, lowering her hands.

“Baby—”

“Stay on the ground!” Taleen demanded, shaking her gun towards her. Su Wei got back on the ground in the same position. “Just let me think!”

There was that intimate silence between them again. A siren sounded in the distance. Taleen’s hand began to shake as she tried to keep the gun steady, pointed at her target. Her love for Su Wei clouded her mind, and the mere sadness she had for betraying her, how she could ever think to bargain a deal like that only to save herself. Taleen looked back at Su Wei below her, straight faced, and her hands still in the air. She could keep it up all night without a sweat, Taleen knew that. But Taleen herself didn’t know how long she could keep it up. Suddenly, tears poured down the sides of her cheeks. She looked away and exhaled an inaudible whine. Then she brought her other hand up to hold the gun steady. Su Wei stayed quiet. Taleen sniffed, and faced forward again.

“I love you…” she started, “but I’m sorry.”

For a second, she saw how Su Wei’s face turned from emotionless to sorrow, and she lowered her gun from Su Wei’s chest, and to her abdomen, where she pulled the trigger. Su Wei fell forward to the pavement, and rolled over on her back. Taleen dropped the gun onto the ground and got onto her knees in front of Su Wei who moaned out in pain. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.” Taleen apologized profusely, using her hand to cover the wound. Su Wei let out an amused but shaky laugh.

“Okay, you got me back.” Su Wei commented, “Can we move on now?”