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Christmas Funny Romance

Everly was a sensible young woman, and it was because of that that she was able to accept her imminent death. She sat on a bench at the park near her apartment with a hot cup of tea. The warm mug kept her fingers warm, but her ears were still freezing. She should have worn a hat. It was unfortunate that she wasn’t going to be alive the next morning. Everly would’ve liked to be able to open her Christmas presents. She hoped that her murder wouldn’t ruin Christmas forever for her family and friends. She’d have to include that in her letters to them. “Don’t let my murder ruin your holiday spirit!” But what else could she do? Her assasination would chase her forever, might as well deal with it head on. At least the sunrise was beautiful. Not everything was disappointing today. 

The comfortable silence was ruined by a buzzing in her pocket. Everly took her phone out of her jacket pocket, and answered it. 

“Hello?” Everly responded, struggling to keep her teeth from chattering. 

“Good morning, dear,” It was her mother. “I hope I didn’t wake you up this early in the morning.”

“Not at all, I’ve been awake for some time now.”

“Oh good. Are you coming to the Christmas party tonight?”

“Yes, don’t worry. I’ll be there, Mom.”

“Then I’ll see you tonight.” Her mother hung up the phone. 

Of course her mother called to nag her about attending the party. Everly couldn’t quite bring herself to be annoyed, though. When you knew that you were about to leave the world forever, you had a sudden appreciation for everything. Like sunrises. Or nagging mothers. Everly’s mother did have a point, though. A couple years before, Everly had been going through a bit of a rebellious stage and didn’t attend the party. Her mother wouldn’t forget it. 

Everly left the park reluctantly and headed back to her apartment. Her parents had never understood why she rented such a cheap apartment when she was so rich. She admired the festive wreaths on her neighbors’ doors. If only she had the holiday spirit to do any decorating. A young man knocked on her door as she approached. 

“How can I help you?” Everly asked politely. 

“Oh!” The man spun around. It was James, the most attractive bachelor of the year. He was wealthy, well-mannered and very sought after. He was also one of Everly’s oldest friends. “There you are!”

Everly greeted him with a hug. “Come on in.”

James followed her into her apartment. “Looks like you’re quite the grinch, unlike your dear mother.”

“I don’t have anything against decorations, I just don’t have time to enjoy them. I’m hardly ever here. Why bother?”

James shrugged. “Fair point. Most young, single people don’t have the same holiday experience as they did when they were kids.” 

“True. Have you come to visit me with something pressing? Or can you wait a couple minutes?”

“I can wait a bit.” James looked a bit nervous, which was odd for him. He was the sort of man that took charge, that was confident. 

Everly pointed to the kitchen. “Make me breakfast while I take a shower.” It wasn’t a question, but an order. 

James stuttered, but Everly was already heading to the bathroom. Everly heard him sigh, but then started to rummage through the kitchen. Everly smiled to herself. She could always manage to get away with telling James what to do. 

Everly had tied up her golden hair in a messy bun, but her hair would need to look a lot better at the party. But maybe if she had messy hair her mother would forget about her “magical green eyes” and scold her instead. Her cousin laughed about her mother’s obsession over Everly’s green eyes, and she tried to ignore it. She had never gotten over the embarrassment. 

Everly took a quick shower as to not keep James waiting too long. Everly didn’t wonder that much about why he had come to visit her. She didn’t dwell on things like that. She got dressed and brushed out her hair so it would dry neatly. 

“What feast have you prepared for me?” she asked James. Everly sat down on one of her two total chairs. She didn’t get that many visitors. 

James, the excellent cook he was, made her ramen. She grinned. This was the sort of meal Everly reserved for emergencies, like late nights or extra-busy mornings. 

“Sorry, I’m not much of a cook.” James looked a bit sheepish. 

“No worries. Anyways, what was it you wanted to ask me?” Everly started to eat the noodles, expertly using her chopsticks. She went through a phase where she only ate with chopsticks, much to her parents dismay. They weren’t pleased with her when the meal was soup. 

“Will you marry me?” 

She choked on her noodles, accidentally inhaling some of them. She stood and made her way to grab a glass of water. She chased her food down with a full glass. Normally she would have thought that James was merely fooling around, messing with her, but he had seemed especially nervous. It was the type of situation that if she had been drinking a beverage, she would’ve accidentally spat it all in his face. 

“What?” Not the most eloquent response, but it was all she could manage. Her soon-to-be murder lingered in the back of her mind. She couldn’t possibly say yes and then go and get herself killed, now could she?

“Oh not like that. See… I hate asking this of you. We’ve run into some financial troubles…” James trailed off, embarrassed. She suddenly understood what he was asking her. They had never gone down a romantic path, so that motivator wouldn’t have made sense. “Never mind, it’s stupid really…” 

“Though I am unable to accept your gracious offer, I’ll try to think of something to help you.” Everly would have to secure a contract or two on his behalf or something of the sort. She had plenty of money, and could likely leave behind some money for him as well. 

James was still blushing, but was significantly less fidgety. He stood, thanked her and let himself out. 

When she was younger she and her cousin always thought that Christmastime was the most romantic time of the year. They had always dreamed of being proposed to nearing or on the holiday, but now that it actually happened, it all felt bittersweet. Everly would see her cousin, May, later at the party. She would be one of Everly’s biggest regrets. They had always been incredibly close, and leaving her behind, victim to a harsh world, didn’t have her excited. May was a bit younger than her, but too innocent for her age. She was the sort of person that expected goodness out of everyone and would be upset when it didn’t work out that way. Everly could only hope that her death wouldn’t break her. 

Everly went and blow dried her hair the rest of the way, and curled it. She would have to do something a bit more elaborate for tonight, but for the moment it was good enough. She stuffed a bin of bobby pins into her backpack-purse and went off.

Her single jacket wasn’t keeping her all that warm, but it was most certainly stylish. Everly noted the rose petals that were on the ground, and wondered why they were there. Maybe some florist had walked by, dropping petals as they went along. But too many were on the ground. It was like a trail, the very same path that she took every day. She glanced up, and saw a middle-aged man on one knee, hand out, almost as if he was beckoning to her. 

“Everly, my love!” The man shouted. “Finally, you have arrived!” 

What was going on? Everly had never seen the man before in her life. She stopped, confused. 

“Marry me!” The man said quite forcefully. This was the second marriage proposal this morning. Certainly there was a law against such a thing. 

“Do I know you?” Everly asked politely, very obviously bewildered. 

“No, but I have loved you from afar for a long time…” The man continued on, but Everly stopped listening. The problem with having a strong social media presence was that you ended up attracting creepy stalkers. It was chilling, realizing that this man must have found out where she lived and made note of her daily route. “Please, I beg you, marry me!”

“No, thanks.” Everly continued walking, dodging the many rose petals. The man wasn’t deterred. He stepped closer to her, and attempted to grab her hand. Everly never had time for things like this, and most certainly not today. “This is your last warning, sir. Leave me alone.”

“Everly!” The man got even closer. 

With razor sharp precision, Everly whipped out her pepper spray and sprayed the man. He cried out in pain. “I did warn you,” She said unapologetically. 

Everly continued on her path, ignoring the people who had pulled out their phones to record the incident. It would undoubtedly be a big story on the internet in five minutes. She wondered if she’d be painted as the villain or victim. There wasn’t really any true way to tell. 

The walk to the tall, looming building where she worked, wasn’t long. 

Everly had a brunch meeting with her assistant, Varrick. All the female employees at the office giggled endlessly whenever he was around, but Everly had never seen the appeal. Sure, the man was attractive, but he still wasn’t her type. 

“Morning, Miss Winston,” Varrick greeted respectfully. “It’s the coffee you like today.”

Thank goodness for that. Everly wasn’t sure what she would do if she would end up dying without good coffee that morning. To face one’s permanent end without it would be truly horrifying. Varrick had already set out all of the papers that she needed to sign today. Everly wondered how her assistant would take her death. She didn’t think he resented having her as a boss, but would he be at all disturbed that she met her end? 

“There was something that I wanted to ask you, Everly.” This was new. Her assistant had never addressed her with her first name before. Since she didn’t respond, he continued. “Everly, I’ve loved you for a very long time. I’ve been your assistant for three years now, and I’ve loved every minute of it. I don’t have any family or close friends, but you have always been a bright spot in my life.”

This was quite all of a sudden. Everly immediately felt shame, shame because she didn’t know the first thing about Varrick. She had never bothered to get to know him, talk to him about anything that wasn’t work related. 

“Will you, Everly Winston, marry a fool like me?” He got down on one knee. Another marriage proposal? This was beginning to become quite a nuisance. 

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to say no.” It was clear that Everly’s words hurt Varrick more than her pepper spray had hurt the previous proposer. “I am flattered, and I hope you find love. I wish you all the best, Varrick.” With that, she left. Everly had finished putting all her affairs in order at the office, it was just unfortunate that she hadn’t managed to avoid the third marriage proposal that morning. At least her question had been answered. Varrick, her wonderfully reliable assistant, would mourn her death. Everly truly hoped that he would find love and happiness. She’d have to leave behind a letter for him as well. Thanking him, for the brilliant job he did.

Everly still had several things to accomplish before attending her mother’s Christmas party.  She checked her phone, only to find a multitude of notifications. What had happened? It was yet another marriage proposal. Everly sifted through it all on the taxi ride to a lunch with her aunt and an important client. Apparently, she had caught a famous star’s attention. Enough attention for him to propose to her over the internet. At first she thought that it was another account, pretending to be him, but that unfortunately wasn’t the case. There was a video of the star making a rather lengthy speech, asking for her hand in marriage. It was as if the entire internet exploded, talking about Everly Winston and the two marriage proposals in one day.  They didn’t even know half of that. Quite literally. 

Refusing to give the media any more attention, Everly got out of the car and tipped the driver generously. She didn’t doubt that he knew who she was, but hadn’t said anything about it. Hadn’t asked her view on the multiple proposals. If he had, it was quite possible that she would have throttled him. People who minded their own business earned Everly’s generosity. She wasn’t feeling well, so Everly was especially grateful for his silence.

Food at fancy restaurants was constantly disappointing. She could cook much better food at home, and it would cost significantly less. Her company was equally disappointing. Her aunt-- May’s mother-- wasn’t the sort of woman Everly would ever want to sit down and chat with. The client was a tubbly, elderly man that had already said multiple sexist, racist, homophobic things. He came across off as the wealthy, entitled, evil politician type. Everly debated just leaving. Surely she couldn’t expect herself to deal with such a scumbag on her last day that she had to live. 

“Winston. Your aunt has so graciously offered to arrange this meeting so I could ask you something.” Everly hated the way the man’s eyes scanned her, objectifying her. 

“Yes?” She forced herself to plaster on a smile, but she didn’t succeed at making it look convincing. 

The man didn’t seem to notice or care about Everly’s obvious grimace. “I’d like to marry you. It would be mutually beneficial.”

This time Everly had been sipping soda. This time she managed to spit it all over him. She probably took too much amusement from the man’s horrified expression. Everly didn’t even bother to reply. A fifth marriage proposal. It was like the universe knew that since Everly was working with limited time. She gave a dirty look to her aunt, and just looked at the man with utter disgust. If she had agreed she’d likely be his third or fourth wife. 

Everly left the restaurant, not paying her share for the meal and soda that she had spat all over the slimy man. Five marriage proposals. If she didn’t already know that she was about to lose her life, she’d go take the time to file some restraining orders. If she had more time, maybe she’d take the time to make fun of the star who had proposed to her as a media stunt. Maybe she’d have time to say yes to him, to revel in the whole drama of it. But time wasn’t a luxury she had anymore. Whether she liked it or not, she was dying. 

✹✹✹

The party was boring. Per usual. It didn’t help that Everly could feel her body deteriorating. She felt better, though, when she caught sight of Jemma. 

Jemma. She was the sort of woman that intimidated everyone, the sort of woman that felt like danger. And Everly loved her. 

“Jemma!” Everly was thankful that she hadn’t worn tall heels. She caught up to Jemma. “Will you come out to the gardens with me? There is something I want to ask you.”

They walked to the gardens, perhaps a bit slower than Everly would’ve liked. “The poison in my system, is really taking effect now is it?” Everly said conversationally. 

Jemma froze. 

“Ah, don’t worry. I don’t blame you. Honestly, it’s easier to come to terms with having your killer be someone that you love and understand.” Everly had known for a long time. Had accepted the poison-spiked drink Jemma had given her the day before. 

Jemma looked sick. “They were going to kill my baby sisters…” She trailed off, not looking like her usual, fearless self. Everly already knew that Jemma had been forced into an impossible position. Her family would suffer if she failed to end Everly’s life. 

“I know.” Everly looked content. “I tried to figure out a way to save them, you know.”

Jemma looked like she was going to cry. “Everly,” She choked out. 

Everly sat down on a stone bench, unable to keep on standing. Her legs were shaking now, incapable to sustain her weight. “This must be very hard for you, isn’t it?”

Jemma stood, and started to turn away. Everly grabbed her hand, and pulled her close. “You love me, and were forced to kill me. The least you could do is stay.” Her voice sounded like rocks scraping together, nothing like the calm demeanor she’d managed all day. “I don’t want to die.”

Tears were already falling down Jemma’s face. “I’m sorry,” Her voice was shaky.

“Please, Jemma, marry me.” Everly finally made a marriage proposal of her own. “Don’t say yes unless you’d actually marry me. If I wasn’t about to die.”

Jemma said yes. Everly pulled out rings, and struggled to put one on Jemma’s finger. Her hands were shaking now. 

The women kissed, both of their faces wet with tears. 

✹✹✹

Everly’s funeral was grand. It was very clear that she was aware that she was going to soon meet her end. She had prepared for her own death very well. Many people attended and mourned the magnificent woman. She had been proposed to five times on the day of her death, but as far as anyone could tell, she had declined all of them. But that didn’t explain the ring on Everly’s finger, declaring her engagement to someone. 

No one saw the gaunt woman lurking in the shadows, neither did they see the matching ring on her finger. 

December 25, 2020 05:24

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