Every moment of our life is a negotiation. Each choice decides our future. Our experience and reflection let us choose the best path through which we channel our life. It’s like entering into a maze - an adventure, with courage and insight we traverse through it, with each point on the maze in front of us representative of the time and each step representative of our future. The paths are mired in front of our eyes, a bad selection and we end up in a puddle. Our present is the making of our past. With no going back, this is what we are. Or is it so? Is the past decided? Could that be altered, is it possible to move the maze under our feet forward and go back in time?
My life presented itself with such a choice. It was a time to take the decision - the present time at which I have ended up clinging to a rock, with death waiting to embrace me.
*
The joy and the excitement for going to a trip have always kept me awake throughout the night. The train of thoughts keeps revolving around my head to restrain me from sleeping. Walking through the things that need to be done during the trip and confirming whether everything is in place propels to an adrenaline rush that keeps my eyes open laying on the bed.
Every hiking trail is a new journey for me. Started as a hobby culminated itself into a passion to explore new terrains. The beauty and the tranquillity at the end of the trail provide me with a reflection of myself – the things need to be changed and improved. Every step to the top interspersed with steep climbs and difficult paths resembles a journey through the hardships of life.
We set on our journey at the dawn of what seemed to be a beautiful day. After travelling some distance, we realized that we forgot to take a bag of equipment. Robert, Alice and me looked at each other and then eventually we set our gaze on Mark. “Yes, I know what you are thinking”, he said. We opened the trunk of our car and the bag seems to look at us. This had surprised us the first time when we realized this, but every time Mark does it, it still puts us in a state of bewilderment.
It has happened with us an uncountable number of times. The same moment getting repeated itself as if we were in limbo. All the actions, atmosphere, talks were played as if we were experiencing deja-vu. I shrugged it off as always by giving it a laugh and saying – "deja-vu, deja-vu".
When Mark, during one of our weekend ritual of booze parties, told us that he could go back in time. We laughed and pulled his leg the entire night. The atmosphere was high and the alcohol and the music were in tandem. Sometime in the middle of the night, I dropped some glasses, that had shattered into pieces, which no one had the consciousness to clear it out. The ambience and the night played out beautifully until we gave it into the exhaustion and tiredness.
Sometime in the afternoon, I woke up with a heavy headache as if someone hammering my head. My eyes wriggled to notice the glasses placed on the table across me, right next to Mark. “See I told you” – he exclaimed. I simply responded by showing him the middle finger.
Later, did I realize that whenever I had the instances of deja-vu, Mark was present each time? I confided this to Robert and Alice, they also started pondering. It began to dawn on us that it must be true. Mark confided to us that he could go back in time, but he is unaware of any repercussions that would happen if he alters the past.
Our eyes drew to the gigantic beauty in front of us. The straight road in front of our car ended at the footstep of a valley like it was an extension of the road. The other mountains seem to be peeking behind their older cousins as if welcoming us. The rays of the sun behind them touched each corner and edges of them to create a halo illusion. Summer snow was smeared over the top like icing on a hot cake, which tapers down due to the warmness. The tranquillity and the beauty-filled our heart and engulfed our mind.
Standing at the footstep of the mountain, our gaze traversed to the top, determined to achieve it. The river gushing through the bed and brushing the tooth of the pebbles and rocks resembled a path to the top. We were on a journey to a direction against the destination of the water.
Moving through the green cover provided us with the fervour to move forward despite the aching body, tiredness and exhaustion. The birds sang in intermediately, saying to keep going on. Breaks at various points led us to get back our breath and we cherished by embracing the beauty of the landscape that was spread like a panorama in front of our eyes. Pictures were taken of the green lushes of trees by looking down; it felt it we were at the top of the trees. Other mountains gazed at us from a distance, with their white cap. After a couple of months, they would be wearing a white coat over their body.
The pinnacle was an exquisite phenomenon. After hours of climbing, what felt like an eternity our body, mind and the soul was lifted by the hands of nature. Smile, happiness and laughter engulfed the air. Short breaths were paired with small packets of laughter which came in intermittently.
Our journey was not over; the destination was still to be reached. Down the rocky patch at the top, a cross lay which was emblazoned at the bottom with the saying “Be more human” – this was our summit. People who came in earlier were sitting at the bottom of the cross, exhausted and full of contentment.
The rocks were crooked and slippery, although difficult but not impossible, I contemplated. My friends moved forward with utmost care and safety. I took the same path as Mark, my shoes touched the rocky face as the same as him. I felt confident and figured out that I could do this. Robert and Alice had already reached the summit; a smile was knitting to his face.
With a gulp of breath, my foot touched the surface of a slanted rock and my ankle dropped and my body stooped forward. The earth threw me up and for a couple of seconds; my body was taken over by the air. My mind was dazed but my instincts kicked in and the next thing I was holding the nooks of a rock with my fingers.
*
I looked at the enormous blue sky with the sun mocking at me. It was a normal sunny day with the rays of helplessness shining partially across my face with the other half occupied by the shadows of the rocks. My fingers wriggled under the stress of the pain that was caused by the crooks and sharp edges of the rock to which I was clinging. The body lay abreast to the surface. My life depended on the pain that I can withstand for a time which felt like an eternity. A minor mistake and I will fall into the portal of darkness with the death waiting to embrace me down below. A difficult hiking trail to the top and an easier skydive to the bottom of the mountain, with only a difference that death will be forthcoming instead of contentment.
My heart stiffened and the gulps of breathing were short-lived. The turbulent emotions were glutting out of my mind. Sweat mixed with the cries trickled down my face, over my body and the nooks and corners of my hands. I struggled to gain foot over the cracks of the rocks. The thudding of my heart overshadowed all other noises that were happening around me - I saw my friends looking at some heights over me, crying and calling out for help. People were scrambled taking different spots and taking videos of the tragedy that is soon to happen. Albeit a tragedy its worth to share to the world – may be to sympathise or to garner views and likes.
My body started to tremble as if to say that the time has come. The wind blew over my face in acknowledgement. The fear and the panic inside me led me to drain emotionally and mentally. My hand slipped and I took a look at the blue sky with the birds flying across it and now even I was flying in the air.
*
I guess, my time had not come.
I stepped on the surface of the rock, my ankle dropped and my body stooped forward. My eyes popped out, to witness something about to happen. My body was halfway through when a hand found its way and reached out to pull me back. The fright and the panic took its time to reach an agreement after which I noticed the person attached to the hand that pulled me. Mark had saved me from toppling over.
Past was being altered to mock at the future. We cheated death. We hugged and laughter and cries were flowing in abundance.
*
When one decides to meddle with the past, it is a choice which creates repercussions to the timeline. The universe exhibits with a second maze of adventure when the life presents us with a choice.
My body plummeted to the ground. Red viscous liquid bounced a little before settling in. My eyes lay open looking at the vast sky.
Maybe this is the truth. The past will always find a way to mock us in the future.
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