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Funny Happy Creative Nonfiction

In a softly lit office adorned with rich mahogany furniture and shelves filled with medical journals, Doctor Edmund Pierce, a distinguished psychiatrist with graying temples and kind eyes, was in his favorite chair. Across from him sat an older woman in a striking red dress. She introduced herself as Madam Penelope Peacock from New York.


Madam Peacock exuded an air of refined elegance despite the faint tremor in her hands. She settled into the plush chair before Doctor Pierce, her posture regal yet betraying a hint of nervousness.


As they prepared to delve into the assessment, Doctor Pierce, meticulously groomed with his white lab coat neatly pressed and wire-rimmed glasses perched on his nose, took a moment to collect himself. At the same time, Madam Peacock settled comfortably into her chair.


"Madam, while you've volunteered for this drug trial, we must assess your mental and physical well-being before proceeding. Before we begin testing, I'd like to ask you a few questions regarding your family history," Doctor Pierce's tone was gentle as he adjusted his glasses with a calm demeanor. "Has anyone in your family ever experienced any mental health issues?"


"I can't say it." Madam Peacock replied, her eyes meeting the Doctor's gaze. Her voice carried a sense of unease, like a creature trapped beneath an impossible weight. "I think not."


"Well, that's reassuring," Doctor Pierce responded, typing notes into his computer with a smile. Madam Peacock would prove to be an ideal candidate after interviewing countless others. "That's promising news, Madam. We've encountered many candidates today, so your cooperation is greatly appreciated."


Madam Peacock's composure faltered slightly, a fleeting shadow crossing her features. "At least, nothing that's proven," she murmured, her gaze averted.


Doctor Pierce furrowed his brow in concern, pausing in his typing to regard her intently. "What do you mean by that?" he inquired, his voice laced with curiosity.


Madam Peacock hesitated, adjusting her posture in the chair, and suddenly, a palpable tension filled the room.

"My great-grandfather had some peculiar habits. Though that doesn't necessarily imply any psychological issues, right?" Her voice held a hint of severity as she sought confirmation from Doctor Pierce.


"Well, what were these habits of your great-grandfather?" Doctor Pierce pressed, locking eyes with her.


"He... he believed he was in love," Madam Peacock confessed, her tone tinged with embarrassment as she lowered her eyes.


Doctor Pierce's eyebrows shot up in surprise, though he quickly masked his reaction with a polite chuckle. "Being in love isn't indicative of mental illness, Madam," he reassured her, though a hint of concern lingered in his eyes.


Madam Peacock hesitated, a sense of resignation settling over her features. "He was in love with a sheep," she admitted, her voice barely audible.


"Excuse me? With a sheep?" Doctor Pierce's laughter ceased abruptly, the color draining from his cheeks.


"Yes, precisely," Madam Peacock affirmed, her gaze steady. "He spent his days tending to the sheep, and... well, he grew quite attached to one of them."


Doctor Pierce's laughter died in his throat, replaced by a look of genuine concern. His expression shifted from disbelief to bemusement. "That's... certainly unusual," he remarked, though his amusement tinged with a hint of confusion.


"It gets stranger," Madam Peacock continued, her voice steady. "He believed he was a sheep himself."


"That's... unsettling," Doctor Pierce remarked, sinking back into his chair.


"But as you said, Doctor, affection for an animal doesn't necessarily indicate..." Madam Peacock began, but Doctor Pierce interrupted her.


"It's concerning, nonetheless. While it's not unheard of for individuals to form strong bonds with animals, believing oneself to be one is quite alarming," Dr. Pierce interjected, a furrow forming on his brow.


"Yes, while tending to his beloved sheep, he was attacked and devoured by a wolf," Madam Peacock revealed.


"Attacked by a wolf? How ironic," Doctor Pierce remarked, his eyes widening in disbelief.


"It gets even more peculiar, Doctor. The wolf confessed to the act," Madam Peacock continued.


"A wolf confessing? That's preposterous!" Doctor Pierce exclaimed, his patience wearing thin.


"Indeed, Doctor," Madam Peacock affirmed. "He surrendered himself to police and admitted the crime, crying rivers of tears."


"What are you talking about, Madam?" Doctor Pierce muttered, shaking his head. "Wolf can't cry and talk. It is animal, for God's sake. I can't believe it.


"Forgive me, Doctor. I misspoke. It wasn't a real wolf but rather a cousin of his who believed himself to be one," she clarified.


"And he confessed to consuming your great-grandfather?" Doctor Pierce questioned, still struggling to comprehend.


"Indeed, Doctor," Madam Peacock affirmed.


"Goodness gracious, such bizarre tales," Doctor Pierce muttered, shaking his head.


"But that's not all, Doctor. My uncle thought of himself as a firefighter and caused a tragic fire that claimed multiple lives," Madam Peacock added.


"What are you saying!? Eleven people and one firefighter perished in that inferno." Doctor Pierce took off their glasses. "Good heavens! That was your uncle?" Dr. Pierce exclaimed, his disbelief turning to exasperation.


"No, no! That was his brother!" she replied rapidly.


"Your uncle's brother!? What was he doing there?! Did he think he was Superman!?" he couldn't control himself anymore.


"No! He was just an idiot!" Madam Peacock lowers her shoulders without any emotion.


"Madam Peacock," he said, his voice weary yet resolute, "I'm afraid you're not a suitable candidate for testing the new drug. The complexities of your family history suggest a level of psychological instability that warrants further evaluation." With that, he ushered her out of the office, his mind reeling with the unsettling revelations within its walls.


As the door closed behind her, Doctor Pierce was left alone in the silence of his office, grappling with the weight of what he had just witnessed. The room felt emptier somehow, the absence of Madam Peacock's presence leaving an eerie void in its wake. As he sat alone in the dim light, Doctor Pierce couldn't shake the feeling that he had just glimpsed into the darkest recesses of the human psyche, where truth and madness intertwined in a tangled web of uncertainty.

February 18, 2024 17:20

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