The Mermaid's Trials

Long ago, in a great, winding river, there lived a mermaid named Mayim. The river was her home, and she was its protector. No matter what or who dared threaten her home, Mayim defended against it.

One day, a young man approached the bank. Mayim swam towards him.

“Are you fish-friend or fish-foe?” she asked.

“Neither,” the man said “I merely wish to cross this river”.

Mayim splashed water towards him with her tail.

“If you are not a friend, then I must assume you are a foe. Begone, this river is under my protection”.

“I assure you, I mean the river no harm.”

“I know not who you are; your word has no value here”.

“Really, I just want to cross. How can I prove to you that I mean no harm?”

Mayim dived below the water’s surface to think, and emerged a few moments later.

“To prove that you mean no harm, you must rid us of those who do”.

“That seems fair. Where can I find them?”

“The first,” Mayim said, “owns the fishing boat to the north. Many of my countrymen have suffered from his nets. Bring them here, so that I can destroy them. The second is the farmer who grazes his cows too close to the bank. The animals fill our waters with dung. Drive them away from the eastern pasture. The third is the owner of the factory to the south. All day long, he pollutes my river. Convince him to quit these lands. If you do these things, you will prove yourself a friend, and may pass through as you please”.

“Well,” the young man replied, “I didn’t imagine that crossing the river would take so long, but if it’s the only way to pass through, I’ll do what you ask”.

Mayim smacked her tail against the water's surface.

“Splendid”.

And so the young man set out to complete the mermaid’s trials.

He walked along the bank until he saw the fisherman’s boat, with the nets lying nearby. The fisherman himself was nowhere to be seen.

“Well, it appears Lady Fortune has my back.” he said, rushing over to gather up the nets.

The man had just placed them all in his backpack, when the fisherman returned.

“What’s this?” the angry fisherman demanded, “I leave for a moment to empty my bladder, and a thief comes by to empty my boat! How dare you, villain!”

Not knowing how to possibly explain himself, the young man simply ran away as fast as he could.

“STOP! THIEF!”

The fisherman followed him, in close pursuit. But he was no match in speed for the thief he pursued. Eventually, the fisherman gave up.

Not wanting to stick around, waiting for his pursuer to return, the young man ran back to the bank where Mayim was waiting.

“So, human, I see you’ve returned”.

“Yes, I have. And I have the nets, though I almost paid for it quite dearly”.

He threw the nets out to Mayim, who quickly destroyed them with her razor sharp teeth.

“The fish thank you, Mr-”

“Earwyn”.

Mayim smiled, her teeth shining like pearls.

“Thank you, Earwyn”.

Earwyn nodded, and ran off to find the farmer’s field.

It was the scent that first notified Earwyn that he’d found the cow field. The stench of manure was thick in the summer air. He gagged.

The cows were grazing by the river bank. On the shore line, Earwyn could see streaks of manure, partially washed into the river by yesterday's rain.

He looked around, and saw that the only one minding the cows was a short boy, scarcely as tall as his crook. Earwyn waved to him. The boy walked towards him.

“Hello sir! What can I help you with?” the boy asked.

“Hello lad, I was just passing through, and I was wondering why you graze the cow’s so close to the river?”

“Well sir, this here is one of two pastures we have, but the other’s been overrun with racoons”.

“Racoons?”

“Yes, Racoons. They cause an awful lot of mischief”.

“Well,” Earwyn said, “if I got rid of the raccoons, would you consider switching to the other pasture?”

“I mean, sure, it’s the better one it is. But why do you care so much?”

“Just helping out a friend who lives down river”

“Fair enough. Tell ya what, banish those raccoons, and we’ll abandon this pasture entirely. Deal?”

“Deal”.

Earwyn set off to de-racoon the other pasture.

“This is an awful lot of work just to cross a river”. He said, to no one in particular.

When he got to the field, it was filled with over a dozen sleeping raccoons. Not knowing what else to do, Earwyn picked up a big stick, and started swinging.

The raccoons were not terribly impressed. One of them tried to bite the stick. The rest did not react whatsoever.

Humiliated at being defeated by a bunch of raccoons, Earwyn sat down on a log and sighed. In the distance, he heard a dog barking. That gave him an idea.

Earwyn crouched behind a bush near the field, and treated the raccoons to his best hunting dog impression.

The raccoons quickly made themselves scarce.

No sooner had Earwyn returned, and told the cowherd that the raccoons had been evicted, than he saw Mayim pop up from underneath the waves.

“Well well well” she said, “looks like you’ve succeeded here as well. Dispose of the factory owner, and the river will be quite grateful”.

She went under once more and swam away, shark-like blue fins cutting through the river’s surface.

Weary, but determined to finish the challenge, Earwyn set off, and began to ponder how he might convince an entire factory to leave.

When he arrived, Earwyn heard a shrill whistle, signifying the start of the worker’s lunch break. Dozens of weary workers sat on the ground, eating a variety of depressing lunches. Earwyn sat down next to one of the groups.

“I’m impressed,” he said, “I wouldn’t expect so many people to be brave enough to wrok here”.

“What are you talking about?” one of the workers asked.

“I’m impressed that you’re all brave enough to work at a haunted factory”.

The workers went silent. 

“Haunted?”

“Oh, haven’t you heard? The factory is quite haunted”.

“Haunted by what?”

“A vengeful spirit,” Earwyn said, his tone grave. “Aparently, when the moon is full, a phantom appears over the water. The next morning, someone is found drowned. Always. My cousin used to work here, but… one moring… we, we found-” Earwyn tried to continue, but was too choked up to speak about his deceased, imaginary cousin.

“Ridiculous,” one of the worker’s said, “there is no phantom haunting the factory. We would have seen it by now”.

“The phantom only appears before it kills, or, so I’ve heard” Earwyn replied.

A murmer went through the crowd, which had grown considerably since Earwyn began his fabricated tale.

“Please,” he said, “save yourselves. It’s not safe to work here”.

That night, when the moon was full, Earwyn carried out the second phase of his plan.

“Alright, you can some out now” he said.

Mayim poked her head up from beneath the waves.

“Well, did your ghost story work?” she asked.

“We’ll see soon. But first, I need some help”.

“Oh?”

“Can you pretend to drag someone under the water?”

“I could” Mayim replied, “why do you ask?”

“I’ve heard that the owner is very superstitious. This afternoon, I spread a rumour about a phantom that drowns people. If we can make them believe it, the owner might get scared, and move elsewhere”

“Oh fun! But how will you get him close enough to see your fake drowning?”

Earwyn grinned, and gave his best impression of a ghostly shriek.

Mayim laughed.

“Is that your best phantom impression?” she asked.

“What, can you do better?”

Mayim responded with a truly ghostly cry, sending shivers down Earwyns spine.

Shortly, the owner came out, brandishing a torch.

“Help! Help!” Earwyn cried. Mayim shrieked again. Then, with a vicious pretend struggle, she dragged Earwyn below the water. The owner of the factory fled the scene.

Earwyn popped up from beneath the water, laughing.

“That was brilliant,” he said.

Mayim joined him in laughing.

“Let’s hope it works,” she said.

The next morning, to Earwyn and Mayim’s delight, the doors of the factory were covered with a large sign that read “Out of business. Production will continue at a to-be-determined location. Away from here”.

“Well, friend,” Mayim said, “you’ve certainly proven yourself. You can cross this river as you please”.

“Thank you,” Earwyn replied, “just call for me if you ever need another factory dealt with. Or a pasture full of raccoons”.

They laughed together.

And everyone lived happily ever after.