Pretty Without Tears

The sky overhead glistened with stars, but Olivia barely registered them.

“How can they do that?” she asked.

“Hmm?” Sat next to her, Dana turned and frowned at the random question.

“The stars. How can they just… carry on, like nothing’s happening?”

Dana breathed in deeply and exhaled before answering. “For them nothing is happening.”

“That’s not fair.” Olivia looked down at the phone in her hand again. One stupid little lump, always so close to breaking, yet it was her life that was breaking instead. “I could just drop it in the bin, I suppose.”

“What would that solve? He’d just ask where it had gone. If he didn’t track it down he’d just buy a new one.”

“But he wouldn’t have her number any more. He wouldn’t have any of their numbers.”

“Babe, that doesn’t matter. It only takes a minute to find someone on social media. Come on, how often have we done it? He’d be back in touch with them soon enough. You can’t stop that. Not… not like that, anyway.”

“Then how?” With tears welling in her eyes again Olivia dragged her gaze up, but she couldn’t look at her best friend for more than a moment. She was sick of crying.

“You have to talk to him. I know it’s horrible, but-”

“But what? He might have an excuse? A reason? Damn it Dana, you’ve read the texts.”

“Then you have to tell him it's over. I know he doesn’t deserve it, but one of you should be an adult about this.”

“I know. I just… I just wish it didn’t have to be me.” Olivia looked up at the stars again. For the first time in her life she noticed just how bright they were, clear little diamonds against a sheet of black. Had they always been that obvious, or was it the tears in her eyes making them look like that?

“Do you want me to come with you? I can be there if you want,” Dana said. “An impartial observer and all that.”

Despite everything Olivia burst out laughing. “You’re hardly impartial sweetie.” After more than fifteen years of friendship it was clear whose side Dana would be on.

“You know what I mean though,” Dana said with a grin.

“No, it’s alright. I’ll do it. Thanks. I think this is something that should be private though.” And tonight, though she didn’t say that out loud. There was no way Olivia could bare the idea of being in a house with Archie any longer than necessary. After all the years they’d spent together, to find out he’d done something like this…

Dana’s hand on hers brought her back to the present. “I’m here if you need me. Just a call away, alright?”

“Yeah, I know. Thanks hun.” With a sigh Olivia rested her head on her best friend’s shoulder, gathering her energy to walk away from the man she loved.

--

The lights in the house sparkled like the stars, but they weren’t half as pretty. Even though they were exactly the same lights that she’d seen every day for the past five years that she’d been living there, this evening they felt sinister.

Is this the last time I’ll ever walk up this path? The thought crossed her mind before she’d even registered it, and close on its heels was the heavy cold dread that sat in the bottom of her stomach. No matter how many times she told herself that this wasn’t the end of the world, it really might as well have been. Her whole life had been built around Archie; it was their house, their friends, their car. Finding out that she hadn’t been the only woman in their bed was embarrassing enough, but what about the logistics of everything that followed?

On the front doorstep she dawdled, and wondered if it would be easier to just forget about the evidence she’d found. Life could carry on as normal. It would be so much simpler. I could try it, she thought, try a day and see how bad it is. Maybe he still loves me-

The door opened and she jumped. Standing before her, haloed by the hall light, was Archie, grinning that stupid grin that used to make her stomach flip. Now it just froze her a little more.

“If you’re waiting for the butler it might be a while,” Archie teased. “He’s still trying to make sense of how you organised the kitchen.”

Everything was just the same as it had been yesterday, and yet everything was different.

Archie must’ve read something in her face and the smile dropped. “Oli? What’s up?” With the lump in her throat she didn’t trust herself to speak, but holding up his phone said more than she could. There was a flash of panic, followed quickly by anger. “What are you doing with that?”

In her head Olivia thought up a dozen witty responses. ‘Oh nothing, just seeing if any of your mistresses would be up for doing your laundry.’ Or maybe ‘I was just wondering if you snored so much in front of them as well.’ Even ‘what’s the matter, you’ve not got anything to hide from your partner have you?’ would’ve sufficed.

“I read the damn texts,” was what came out though, in a bubbling gurgle as she fought back tears again. Her hands shook as she threw the phone at him. “We’re done.”

For the briefest moment Archie’s eyes went wide with pain and horror, but when he clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes Olivia thought she must’ve imagined it. She turned and stalked down the path, doing her best to hold her back straight and carry this off with as much dignity as possible.

“Good riddance!” Archie screamed after her. “You’ve been nothing but a bore for ages! And you’re crap in bed!”

To hell with dignity.

Before common sense got a look in Olivia was charging back down the path. She had no idea what she was going to do. All she knew was she wanted to make him pay, to make him hurt as much as she was. Her bag scattered off into the bushes as she closed with him.

“How dare you?!” she hissed right into his face. “I’ve given you everything-”

“Like hell-”

“Everything! How much have I sacrificed for you?”

“No-one asked you to!”

Shame, betrayal and heartache fought for control over Olivia. In the end rage won out.

Olivia swung for him.

It was the first time she’d ever tried to punch, outside of playing, and it showed. The blow landed badly, cracking her fingers and sending spikes of searing pain up her thumb. It did nothing more than knock him back a few paces, more from shock than the force of the punch.

When he looked back up at her though, the ice in her stomach went colder than the ninth circle of hell. The years of resentment that he’d endured, stuck living with her, boiled over. Never before had she seen such fury in his eyes.

Archie stepped forward again and smacked her.

The rest of the fight was a blur to Olivia. That first blow rattled her and made everything fuzzy, but she knew that she kept fighting as well. She’d never been one to just give up.

The last thing she remembered before darkness took her was the shouting, and the hands, and the flashing blue lights.

--

The night air was fresh, that special level of chill that no-one wants to admit is actually cold, and the wind was picking up.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Dana asked. It had been hours since she’d turned up at the hospital, and she hadn’t stopped fussing yet. It was getting on Olivia’s nerves.

“I’m fine. Will you just calm down already?”

Dana snapped her mouth shut and twisted her hands together. No matter how many times she’d apologised for leaving Olivia alone two nights ago, it hadn’t eased Dana’s guilt. Only time would do that, and a return to normality.

No, Olivia thought. There won’t be a return to normality. I have to find what the new normal is. The night air was stinging her face and standing up stretched the bruises across her body, but Olivia stopped and looked up nonetheless. The wind was blowing the clouds away, and the first handful of stars were starting to shine through.

“They haven’t got a care in the world, have they?” Dana said softly. When Olivia looked over she saw her friend staring at the stars as well, tears still in her eyes. “I said you should talk to him. It’s my fault you got hurt.”

Biting back a groan Olivia turned and hugged her oldest friend. “No it isn’t. I could’ve walked away, but I didn’t. It was my own stupidity that got me hurt. Besides, I gave as good as I got.” That made Dana snort, but the fact that Archie had gotten out of the hospital the day before was testament to the fact that he’d won. He was bigger, and stronger, and the fact that she’d failed with her first shot had cost her dearly. But she was adult enough to admit she had struck first. It was a crime of passion on both sides, and she’d never known passion could hurt so damn much.

Olivia pulled away, and wiped Dana’s eyes before draping herself across her shoulder. “Do you know what?”

“What?” Dana gave her the gentlest squeeze around the waist, and Olivia replied in kind as she turned back to the stars.

“They do look just as pretty without the tears.”