Pranked the World to an Oblivion

* Connected to "Let's Face the Future"

The reporter stood on the lawn of Cochise and CO, a local corporation. "Every year, the public awaits news of Cochise and CO's pranks. April Fool's Day is a major affair for the employees of this local company, with last year's biggest prank nearly sending a car to the moon after Cochise and CO's researchers and inventors decided to have a little fun at their boss's expense." The reporter laughs at the memory. "We cannot wait to see what they have in store for the public this year."

Arizona left her desk at exactly half-past eleven with her arms full of files to deliver. She weaves through the maze of bite-sized offices. Several of her coworkers were gathering to discuss lunch plans under the guise of some business or another. Arizona adjusts the files, nods to her supervisor when she looks up from her desk and turns down the small hall where the break room and water cooler were. Carmen St. James was already there, sipping from a paper cup and daydreaming. Arizona calls for her. When she doesn't answer, Arizona tucks the files against her and tries again, waving this time. "Carmen!"

"Arizona!" Carmen sets the cup of water on top of the cooler. "You startled me. Whatever are you doing with those papers? It's pranks' day. You don't file paperwork on pranks' day."

"These are my cover," Arizona says. "Walk around with a bunch of files, and no one bothers you. Makes it easier to snoop too."

"Are you snooping on Florence again? You know she doesn't like anyone knowing what her projects are." Carmen leans against the cooler. "I'm sure they're boring. Last year, her best prank was dying all our hands green."

"I'm telling you, she's planning something big." Arizona sets her bundle of files on the floor to pour herself a cup of water. "She's a plotter."

"I'm sure it'll be lame. Did you hear what Jorge in Accounting came up with?" Carmen's eyes glistened with the potential for mischief.

"So help me, if he brings fish into this office again..."

"As long it isn't onions. I had to air my office out for a week." Carmen jumps up when she sees Gila. "Gila!" She waves a hand. "Over here. She'll know for sure if the BIG prank is ready."

"Oh good, you're here!" Gila says as she bustles down the hall.

"Well?" Arizona asks eagerly. "How's it going?"

"Accounting is still holding us up." Gila tsks.

"Why is always accounting?" Carmen sighs. "We can't get anything done with them. I heard Jeff from HR has this giant helium machine that he plans to put into the air and give everyone squeaky voices."

"Someone needs to get Jorge on the phone," Arizona says, looking pointedly at Gila.

"He is," Gila says, ignoring Arizona. "It's impressive what he's done with a few tanks." She glances over her shoulder to make sure no one else was around. "I hear Vivian in the mailroom got her hands on those exploding ink cartridges."

"She did impress everyone last year with her laser show. She had everyone thinking the building was on fire. The firefighters did not appreciate that." Carmen's laugh comes out more like a cackle. "The lab techs are working on a super-secret project. I've heard rumors that it's part of their gene-splicing experiment."

"That sounds a bit dangerous," Arizona says mildly. "Gene splicing gets... well, dicey, doesn't it?"

Gila stares. "Did you just make a joke?"

"Today is not a day for jokes Arizona," Carmen smirks. "It's for pranks. The janitors rigged the stairwell, by the way, so halfway, up it looks like the stairs vanished. I thought I was going to fall right through. Too funny."

"Oh, how'd they do that?" Gila asks, delighted. "Did they use mirrors? I bet they used mirrors."

"I didn't ask, but I heard Jeff from HR cried." Carmen claps her hands. "Claire from Marketing said that the president has a super-secret project. That our big project is nothing compared to it."

"I find that hard to believe," Arizona says, draining her cup. "Here, Gila, get some water."

"You and your alibis," Gila sighs. She steps forward and pours herself some regardless.

"Alibis are important for today. Not that the mayor would do anything anyway. I hear there's been affair with Cochise's president." Carmen leans forward. "And that's why we get to do pranks' day every year. But this came from Lulu in the Dining Hall. So take it with a grain of salt."

"I normally wouldn't take her word for anything," Arizona admits. "But when it comes to romance gossip, she's like a bloodhound for the truth."

"Oh, so your dalliance with Keith in HR actually happened?" Gila asks.

"We kissed," Arizona says with a shrug.

A loud honking noise interrupts whatever Carmen was going to say. "It's time for our big project. And to see what lame excuse for one that Florence has. The memo said the president is waiting until after everyone goes to unveil his."

"Do you think he'll incorporate the best into his prank?" Gila asks, sidestepping so Arizona can gather her files.

"He might? That would be pretty funny. I'd love to see Helen from HR have hers involved. I heard it had something to do with baldness." Carmen throws her cup away. "We better get up there. The front row seats go quick."

Arizona stops in the break room to toss her files in the trash before following her friends.

30 Years Later

Kiele blinks as her squad leader, the first of five sent to explore the world above the bunker, finished his story. "So... the climate... the mutated creatures... everything... That was because a company had a prank day?"

Their leader, stocky and graying after sixty-plus years, had a look of intense remorse on his face. "The Accounting department had a weather machine... it's what messed with the climate and created the severe storms. And it turned out that Florence's big project was a bacteria to cause a rash... it was supposed to be harmless."

"Is she the reason we have those monsters roaming around?" Lhan asks, horrified. The apelike ones were the worst to him, as they were hairless and sported blotchy red skin.

"Unfortunately, no..." Their leader set his staff down firm into the grass before continuing onward. "The lab technicians were working with gene splicing... the animals were meant as a joke to scare the town, and instead they got out..."

"You people were awful!" Lhan exclaims.

"It was all harmless fun... No one ever got seriously hurt... Emotionally though." Their leader has to take a moment to catch his breath.

"They destroyed everything... our environment, our ecosystems, our weather, our air... and it was meant as a joke." Kiele was horrified. She's spent her entire life in the bunker where she and Lhan grew up, dreaming of the outside world and watching scouts die if they returned from the above land. They came back with hazardous health problems or were mauled by the mutated monsters. And to learn it was all thanks to a prank day... it made her queasy. "And now, we've returned above... How are we to expect people to be any different?"

"That's why I'm telling my story," the leader says solemnly. "We must never forget."

"How do you know all this?" Kiele asks. "The stories they told us growing up... My mother said it was humans wanting power and control. Nothing about a company having a prank day."

"I was there," the leader says. He studies their faces. So young, yet old enough to know the truth. "My real name is Jeff," he says. "I worked in HR."