It will be a great night

CW: Strong and explicit language

23:15

“This will be a great night, I can feel it in my bones!”, Johnny said as he hopped along the street, Helen walking besides him, looking on half amused, half concerned.

“If you’re feeling things in your bones then something went seriously wrong”, Helen replied with a light sarcastic tone. She tried being cheerful, but it wasn’t easy. The night was not going to be great, and it would fall on her to cheer Johnny up when he realised that.

“Oh, lighten up, will you! We’ll meet up with Casey and everyone else, have a blast, crawl out of bed and have a good hangover brunch. I see no reason to be all gloomy.”, he now hopped sideways along the pavement, alternating between the two sides as he raced across.

“What’s gotten you so excited? You’re not usually this jumpy about nights out.”

“Well, let me let you in on a secret.”, he smiled as he slowed down and walked alongside her, barely containing what he thought was energy but was actually the side effect of extreme drunkenness. “Casey’s been talking about how badly she wants to go to France ever since she went with her parents last Easter, right? Well, yours truly is a born romantic who is unmatched for his listening skills, so of course I paid attention. So, at two thirty-five in the afternoon yesterday I booked a double room and two plane tickets for Paris in three weeks-time to celebrate our anniversary!”. And he was back to the jumping, now moving onto concerningly fast spirals only doable by a man who is just drunk enough to risk looking like an idiot and being hit by a car.

“Does Casey know?”

“No, of course not. Not a surprise if I tell her is it you dumby. Gosh, really sometimes I’m worried about what you’d do without me. I’m telling her tonight, before the clubbing. It’ll be amazing.”

Helen came up with a whole sentence about how he should make sure he can get them re-booked or refunded just in case Casey can’t make it, or because maybe she planned something else. But that was tomorrow’s job, she knew he wouldn’t listen to her now, and besides he’ll have enough to think about soon enough.

“Johnny!”, Tim shouted as Johnny and Helen came around the corner. He had a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the over and was at the point in the night when you stumble enough to spill at least half of the alcohol you buy. This typically occurs after eleven or 6 pints, depending on which one comes earlier. “We thought you’d never turn up! Casey’s been asking for you since we got our first drink.”

“Ah sorry mate, Helen was just held up with something and I didn’t want her to have to walk alone, would be a bit miserable, wouldn’t it?”

“Yes, well no misery now! Go on, find Casey and we can get going. She’ll be somewhere inside.”

She was inside. Still on her first drink. Not in much of a drinking mood, she said. Conversations went over her head as she sat at the table, looking into the glass. They locked eyes for a second. Johnny’s frantic drunkenness being very much unlike her mood. She asked him if they could talk for a second.

23:39

“Come on mate, you’ll have to come out eventually!”, Tim shouted across the toilet door. The other toilet had a long line as Johnny’s sobbing dissuaded scared everyone away.

“I don’t make her happy anymore! Why can’t I make her happy? What changed for fucks sake!?”

“I’m sure she didn’t mean it in that way! Come on, lets get back home and we can make you feel better with a nice warm drink and a warm blanket.”, Helen shouted.

“Fuck that!”, Johnny said as he emerged from the toilet. His stature proud, his eyes red and his heart not quite broken. More fractured really, and only on the bottom right side. The rest of it was completely fine other than a small dint on the left, but that was from a totally separate incident. Though it certainly felt like this was true heart break, so Johnny behaved as if it was. “I said I was going to have a great night and that is exactly what I’m intending on! Lets fucking go!”, the only thing undermining his excitement was a slight voice crack towards the end of that sentence and a general aura of misery which surrounded him.

23:54

The night was truly great for a substantial 15 minutes, before Johnny decided it was time to move on and hit on everyone he could find in his close proximity other than Helen, Tim, bar staff and anyone from Essex, because standards are important even when one is feeling a bit down.

“Did you just do what I think you did?”, a big drunk man shouted at Johnny. Johnny did not know the man, but he assumed he was the boyfriend of someone he had encountered at the club just a few minutes ago. He also assumed the man’s fragile masculinity was undermined even more by someone saying, “I think I’m in love with you” to his girlfriend and her replying “I have a boyfriend but cheers!”. Especially someone like Johnny, who put more effort into not crying than anything else. Well, he didn’t assume any of this, he just shouted “Fuck! Tim! Fuck! Run!” as he bolted out of the club and the big bald man with a ginger beard chased after him.

“I think we’re fine now”, Johnny said as he sat on the ground, heaving, his (only slightly fractured and dinted) heart pounding.

“Yeah, take that you cunt!”, Tim said as he collapsed onto the ground alongside Johnny.

“Okay, can we go home now? Johnny, this really won’t do you any good”, Helen said as she stood over the two men, questioning why she was there.

“No, no, no!”, he said whilst getting up, “I have decided”, he took a short break as he was suddenly very out of breath, “that I am going to win her back! I’m sure I’ve done something wrong, and all I have to do is fix that! Yes!”

“No, Johnny, please lets just go home and have a rest, before you do something even more stupid than pick a fight.”

“Hey, he picked a fight with me, I did nothing wrong, and besides you don’t know her like I do. She loves me alright !”

“Johnny, she said what she wanted to say and-”

“I just need a second chance, okay? I just need-”

“She doesn’t love you, you idiot! She doesn’t fucking love you!”, Helen shouted with tears in her eyes. “She broke up with you for a reason, okay? You can’t convince her otherwise; you can’t argue her into bed Johnny!”

“That’s not what I meant, I just-”

“Please, just let it go.”

“How do you know so much about Helen?”, Johnny asked.

“Because she told me, earlier today. That’s why I was late.”

This startled Johnny, slightly pushing him towards sobriety.

“Why did she tell you that? Why were you seeing each other? I didn’t even realise you spoke at all?”

“Because…”, the tears were pouring out now. “Because she loves me, and I think I love her… and… I’m really sorry”.

Johnny froze, but promptly turned around and started walking away.

“Johnny, wait, please!”, she shouted through her tears.

“Fuck off Helen! I’m going to have a great night, a phenomenal night away from you with my real friends!”. 

Johnny walked.

Helen sobbed.

And Tim just woke up from a well-earned nap and was very confused about what had happened in the past few minutes.

2:35

“Johnny! Johnny for fucks sake answer me! It’s the middle of the night, by a river, your phone says you’re here and you’re not saying anything!”, Helen screamed into the dark. She decided Johnny needed a bit of space, so she walked Tim back to his place and then set out to find Johnny on their phone tracking app they got in case anyone ever got lost on a night out.

“John-”

“I’m right here, will you please shut up! My head is pounding!”, his voice came from the darkness. Helen turned on her phone’s torch and saw him sitting in front of the river.

“I was worried sick!”, she said. Tim would have also been very worried, but he was no longer conscious.

“Why? You obviously don’t care about me, or my feelings. I was just standing in your way, wasn’t I? Did you tell her to dumb me?”

“You’re being an idiot. You know I care about you.”

“You stole my girlfriend! You do not care about me!”

“I didn’t steal anything. She does what she wants, and she wanted to break up with you regardless of whether I want to be with her or not. When she asked me out, I said no, because I knew it would break you. I didn’t even mean to tell you, but it killed me not to. I tell you everything and here there’s this massive thing I can’t speak about to you or to anyone. Look I’m sorry, but I didn’t want any of this to happen, okay?”

Johnny looked down and sighed. Tears still crept down his face.

“I’m sorry for shouting, and for what I said. It was cruel and unfair.”

“Thank you”, she replied.

They sat in silence for a while, both not quite sure what to do or what to say.

“Would you like to?”, Johnny said after a long while.

“Would I like to what?”

“Go out with her? Imagine I didn’t exist.”

“Yes, but you do exist, and I don’t want to do anything to hurt you”, she said.

“But imagine if I didn’t, would you want to go out with her then?”

She paused.

“Yes, I most likely would.”

“Right.”

“How would you feel about that?”

“I’d like to say it’d be fine, but to be honest I think it would tear my heart out. I’m sorry for that, and I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t talk to me, and I’m sorry for how I reacted and I’m sorry for everything,” he threw his face into his knees and started sobbing again. Helen reached over and pulled him into a hug.

“Hey, it’s alright. It was a shitty situation for both of us. We don’t need to figure everything out tonight, okay? Why don’t we go back to the flat, get some sleep, and have that brunch you mentioned earlier in the morning.”

“Yeah, that sounds nice.”

They got up and together wandered through the dark towards their apartment. Johnny accepted it was not going to be a great night, but that was okay. Not all nights had to be.