My Long Overdue Letter to Me

July 8, 2021

Attn: Mr. Stevie B’s Reflection

c/o Mia Mind Music

256 Sixth Street

Suite # 2

Hobohemia, NJ, 07030

Re: These occasional lapses in communication

Dear Self,

Long time no see (LOL). You’re not looking all that bad today. I keep bumping into you in the bathroom mirror, but it seems like we never get the opportunity to talk anymore. We usually see each other in the mornings while shaving, and brushing our teeth, combing what’s left of our hair. Other than that, we don’t spend too much of our time looking in the old, looking glass anymore. Nothing against mirrors, but frankly, at our age there’s nothing much new to see there anymore. How have you been lately?  

 Me? Well first off, I want to apologize for not having taken better care of you these last six decades or so. Really could have done a better job of that, especially with brushing and flossing our teeth more when we were both younger. But hey, we’re all only human, and in my defense, my “Hot-Doc” (the one who I love the way she always enters the examination room like some Victoria’s Secret model strutting down the catwalk—ooh-la-la…) has diagnosed me as being afflicted by what scientist and medical professionals like her term chronic laziness. So, who’s really to blame here?

I’m sure you’ve noticed that we’ve now gotten really old, haven’t we? And which probably comes as, as much of a surprise to you as it does to me. Because during those early morning meetings in the mirror, where admittedly we each always expect that long-gone youthful sixteen-year-old kid to be the one reflecting back at us from the ol’ looking glass, then when it’s not we’re both rather startled by our present appearance. Plus, neither you nor I ever bet on, or planned, that we’d live this long. Guess you could say we’ve gotten older—although—regrettably no wiser. But then on the upside; a life sentence in prison would no longer be much of a deterrent anymore if either of us had a master crime in mind, right old man?   

There was something else I wanted to tell you, but it just slipped my mind. Has that been happening to you as much as it’s been happening to me lately? LOL! I’ve lost count of how many times of late I’ve gotten up to get something or do something, then as soon as I’m on my way to it I forget what I was going for. Or asking a question of someone only to be told I’ve asked that and had received their response earlier. And don’t get me started on the déjà vu-like experience of seeing a TV show or film, then in the middle of it occurs to me I’ve already seen it, but have the little-to-no recollection of viewing it previously. In addition, I now not only write out lists in the morning of the things I want to get done during the day but also need to sort out my daily doses of meds and vitamins into my weekly pill organizer least I neglect to take them, or at worse, will double dose and take them twice. It’d be embarrassing if it wasn’t so funny. Oh well, at least we can still laugh at these awkward inconveniences borne as one of the many burdens by us aging antiquated antiques.

Then there are the words. You know, I still write a lot (at least a few lines or more every day, if I can), but oft times I’ll look at the words I’ve written, confused and wondering if I’ve arranged them in an order that really communicates the meaning I’m trying to convey to my readers. Sometimes, while staring at what I’ve written, it feels as if my head’s about to start spinning because of my current uncertainty regarding spelling, syntax, and grammatical structure in areas of written composition which I once felt abundant confidence in producing.

Please don’t get me wrong; I appreciate the fact the fates still allow me to get out of bed, albeit with a set of new aches and pains each morning, to play for yet another day. After all, it sure beats the grave alternative, doesn’t it? Okay, Self, got to get to the grind of earning a living. But before I go, I just want to say; after sixty-some years this may be as good as it gets, but let’s keep getting it good for as long as we Earthly can. Later, my friend!

Sincerely,

Stevie B

Resident Bastard

Mia Mind Music

Enclosures: All the baggage that comes with being me

cc: Anyone who cares to read this silly thing

PS: One last thing, Self. First off, I want to also apologize for the length of this long letter. I really feel obliged to offer you an absolutely accurate and articulate explanation for this capricious and callous consumption of your precious time, so here it is.

You, see, I’m entering this letter as a story submission to one of Reedsy’s weekly writing prompts competitions. Unfortunately, due to the competition’s rules and requirements, submissions must be at least one thousand words in length, but no longer than three thousand words in length.

Why do I enter competitions, such as this, you may ask? Well, that would be an excellent question. I’m so glad you asked! It’s a wonderful way to interact with Laura’s Children. Laura (Reedsy) is the kind lady who sends out these writing prompt emails each week to writers. And if I may be so bold to speak not only on my behalf but also on the behalf of most of the other writers here, many of us have come to feel like we’re her scribbling children.

This story really ended after that signoff salutation. But in order to comply with the rules, as soon as I reach the 1000^th word, I will end it, enter it, and will write no more about it.