The First Step

The First Step

She sat calmly and rather stiffly on the sofa, the farthest one she could find. She was awaiting the interrogation. She knew what she had to say. In fact she memorized it by heart, as he told her. Although everything has been cleared up, she couldn’t ignore the guilt building up inside her, or maybe that was what it felt to lie. But she had to. Flashes of that moment kept coming back to her. Blood red was all over the place.

Her mother was coming back from the kitchen with her father after they cleaned the dishes. Her brother wasn’t in the living room, obviously. She hoped her parents wouldn't notice his absence at least for today. Her legs hung above the ground wrestling the temptation to run away with what she did, with her secret. She forced her legs to stay stiff, and mustered some determination. She had to lie only to hide what she did. No one needed to know anything. They would definitely despise her if they knew. They’ll be disappointed, or even stricken. She will have to endure their hateful blaming looks. What she did was terrible after all. She couldn’t imagine how bad they’ll think of her afterwards. That’s why she has to lie. 

Her parents sat at the sofa in front of the T.V. watching the news. They didn’t know! Well, they shouldn’t. I’ve hid everything. All the clues. Her memory flashed again, of redness down the sink, and scissors lying stained beside her. Her brother was still smiling.

She had to hide all evidence, but how? There’s no way her parents aren’t going to know… there is only one way. She had to wait for them to sleep; it will be easier. At least she won’t have to lie now.

“Hey, Lizzie why don’t go to sleep darling?” her mother’s voice was kind as it always was. Her job won't be easy.

“Sure, goodnight.” she walked as calmly as she could up the stairs to her room. She lay in her bed, and waited. For hours she waited, still her memory didn’t fail of reminding every moment of what she had done.

She waited in tormented agony with a troubled heart, until she didn’t hear any voice in the house for a complete hour. She slowly and quietly got out of bed, through the hallway; her parent’s room was quiet and her brother’s room was lifeless. She crept down the staircase into the kitchen. Grabbed a knife, and went to the closet for…a step creaked on the staircase. Someone is coming! She swiftly put the knife back in the drawer, and grabbed a cup off the shelf, just in time to see her father opening the kitchen door, with relief lining his face.

“Ohh, Lizzie, you scared me. What are you doing here in the middle of the night?”

“I was getting a cup of water.”

“Well then, off to bed you go, now.”

He didn’t notice her cup was empty, so she just put it on the table, and followed upstairs obediently. He made sure she was tucked in bed, and went to bed himself.

Now, I can't do it! It would never work if he was awake he’ll notice too soon and stop me. I have to find another way.

A devilish idea struck her at the moment, and she resolved to start doing it tomorrow, as soon as she can. Since there won’t be much time before they notice the changes. She slept peacefully after dwelling for some time on her well thought out plan for tomorrow.

***

She woke up with sunrise, and hopped merrily off her bed. This scheme couldn’t fail. She went to her brother’s bedroom. It was empty, obviously. His bed was neatly arranged.

She went to the drawer she knew too well, and tried to open it, but it wouldn’t open.

Why has he closed it?! He never did that before!

Her brother’s evil smile was still hanging in her mind. She had to do it; it couldn’t be helped.

It was my only choice.

The sound of a car rolled down the street, and passed away. Her worst fear came true, and her impenetrable definitely successful plan has been ruined and shattered in moments, or rather in her brother’s smart feint. She sat there miserably, hearing her parent’s voices going down stairs to the kitchen. They were all saying good mornings, and talking about their day’s plan. She went quietly downstairs after skillfully hiding all the traces of her current suffering. 

She had failed to hide what she had done. Now everyone will know. And she? A five year-old girl? Who would expect such a treacherous felony out of an innocent child? She will always be known as a wicked girl, and never will her mother forgive her.

Her brother is gone from her life forever. She shall never speak to him again. What he did is cruel, and she’s not going to regret anything she had done.

Her mother was walking out of the kitchen alone. Now was the moment…

“Hey Lizzie have you eaten all the cookies?” Her father unexpectedly, and probably unintentionally too made the first move.

Her mother looked at her questioningly. “Haven’t I told you that’s bad for your health?”

Her father came out of the kitchen, followed by her treacherous brother. He was, as always smiling solemnly. Her mother looked expectantly at her father.

“Well Lizzie, I know it can be tempting, but hmmmm” This was the moment, she’d utter it now or never. At least she’s going to tell the truth-even if it’s going to be known eventually.

“Mom, I ruined your makeup set. I just wanted to put some on like you, but then it got all wrong.” Her mother and father were now clearly perplexed; however, she didn’t stop.

“He saw the mess I made, and threatened he’d tell you if I didn’t steal him the cookies and admit I ate them.” and pointing at her brother she continued her well-formed speech. “I’m so sorry. I’m…” it becomes unbearable. Her tears now streamed out, and she couldn’t hide her guilty sobs. Her brother quickly retreated out of the scene into his room.

Her father, now realizing what was going on for the past few days, stooped down and hugged her.

“That’s what you were trying to do yesterday! Well, all I can do is assure you your brother will get his punishment. But I can’t really say what your mother will do now.” he added in a whisper. He kissed her on the cheek and went back to the kitchen, leaving her and her mother alone.

She looked into her mother’s illegible eyes full with shame.

“Well, you’ll be punished for using my stuff without permission, but next time don’t double your mistakes by listening to your hideous brother. Now go get dressed up quickly and get down for breakfast, and on your way tell your brother to come down immediately.” With that, she patted Lizzie’s head and went to the kitchen as well.

Lizzie didn’t need telling twice; she went straight up the stairs, and told her brother to get down. She saw him walking heavily down the stairs.

She closed the door to her room and sighed in relief, it was as hard as she thought it would be -if not more.

She still saw the flashes of the sink full of red and it didn’t help easing her repentance. Her remorse was lighter but she still felt guilty whenever she thought of it. She tried to shush these feelings up.

Well, I guess that’s how any criminal would feel after their first crime. My idiot brother didn’t do as we agreed or it would have gone smoother. Next time, I'll make sure I have a better grasp on that boy, and also an extra pair of his drawer keys. At least it didn’t get to more than the cookies and makeup that was manageable. The next one will not be as easy.

A knock came at the door, and he quickly entered her room.

“Do you have an explanation for what you did?” he looked her sadly in the face. She never knew why she couldn’t be angry with him for more than half an hour. It may have been his eyes. They were the color of the sky though they manifested the depth of the sea, and greenness of a forest. She instantly forgot her intention of scolding him, let alone not speaking to him anymore.

“I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have done that. I just felt a little worried our parents might come and find out. You know stealing candy is not that easy, and the cookies looked really delicious. Also, I didn't know that stealing too much is bad. I promise you next time I’ll leave no clues. We’ll do it together again next time? You’re not angry with me right?” His voice was really true. He always meant what he said, literally.

“No, little banana. It’s ok, you’ll do better next time.”

“Lizzie, did you tell my mom about the makeup, only to hide my mistake?”

“Let’s just say I felt I had to.”

“Next time, I want to steal the chocolate cubes.”

She smiled and patted him friendly on the head, and led him down to the kitchen instructing him on how to look like they’re angry with each other.