Contest #196 winner 🏆

210 comments

Crime Drama American

This story contains themes or mentions of physical violence, gore, or abuse.

I

I shot papa square in the heart but he didn’t die. That damn bible he carried with him saved his life. I was considerable lucky that papa had his axe at hand, and that he kept it sharp. I picked it up. It was a heavy thing, so I swung with all my might and put it right through his head. Seein’ his brains made me throw up. I moved away so it wouldn’t get on papa. That would be disrespectful.

Papa was a big man. I couldn’t bury him like that, so I started choppin’ off his arms and legs with the axe. I was down to the right leg when Sheriff Culverson showed up. Wouldn’t you know it, he came to arrest papa for stealin’ a couple of old lady Renner’s chickens. Papa didn’t have to worry about that now. Hell, he didn’t have to worry about the drought or where his next bottle’d come from, either. I reckon I did him a favor, savin’ him from all that worry.

Sheriff Culverson looked at me and looked at papa. I done threw up again, so the smell was somethin’ turrible in the vicinity. I looked at the sheriff. He was a shakin’ his head and had a sad look on his face. I reckon he didn’t want to take a nineteen-year-old girl to jail. ‘specially me, seein’ as how I was his daughter’s best friend. Maybe he’ll let Cassie visit me in jail.

The jailhouse only had the one cell. That door a clankin’ behind me sounded like what mama would call omnus. I kinda know what that means by the words around it. Corntex, I think they call it. I would know a lot more if papa would’ve let me go to school. He said girls don’t need school. They need to learn how to cook and to clean and to please their man. I’m damn good at cookin’ and cleanin’, but I don’t think I know how to please a man. Papa was a man and he was never pleased.

Oh Lord! Here comes the sheriff and another man. I seen him around. Mr. King. He’s always all duded up and talkin’ fancy and smilin’ and a swingin’ his walkin’ stick around. I sure would like to catch me a man like that. I bet he don’t beat his women. Not much, anyway.

He ain’t smilin’ now. I reckon I’m in a heap of trouble. Welp, papa won’t be slappin’ the tar outta me for my sins this time.

**************

Both men sat across the table from Esther. The sheriff had placed the gun that Esther had shot her dad with, next to the bible that had thwarted Esther’s original plan. The metal gleamed in the harsh light of the room, sitting as silently as the three occupants. The ceiling fan squeaked quietly, not doing a very good job of cooling off the room. The open window allowed the sunlight to stream through, and a soft breeze brought a little relief from the heat, along with the scent of jasmine and dust. The harsh, unforgiving angles that the sun cast in the room matched Esther’s mood.

Esther reached for the wounded bible. She wanted to feel the torn cover and open it up to inspect the damage. The sheriff pulled it towards him and opened it up before sliding it to Esther. The soft sigh of the bible moving across the table sounded like the whisper of broken dreams.

“Notice anything?” The sheriff leaned back and watched Esther closely.

Esther inspected the bible. The bullet had torn through a significant portion of the Old Testament. It had stopped at the Book of Esther.

“Yessir. Esther stopped the bullet, I reckon.”

Mr. King smiled, though he didn’t want to. The sheriff nodded his head and leaned forward.

“Don’t you find that a little odd?”

Esther shook her head.

“That’s your name, young lady,” Mr. King spoke. His rich, resonant voice filled the room. Dust motes danced and the breeze quickened.

“Yessir.”

The men looked at each other impassively, but both were thinking the same thing. The girl was thickheaded.

Mr. King pointed to Esther’s face.

“Your dad do that?”

Her black eye and a swollen nose did all the testifying for her.

“Yessir. Told me I shoulda caught a man by now, and he warn’t gonna feed no old maid much longer.”

“He been drinkin’?” Sheriff Culverson leaned back, crossing his arms. He already knew the answer.

“Yessir. Mama always says that papa only drinks on days endin’ with a ‘y.’ I reckon that’s true.” Esther played with her hair, twirling it between two fingers. She looked away from the men and gazed outside, lost in her own thoughts.

“So you decided to shoot ‘im.”

“Yessir.”

“But the bible stopped the bullet.”

“Yessir.”

Mr. Kind leaned forward and stared at Esther, causing her to blush.

“That was when you decided to take the axe to his head?”

Esther stopped playing with her hair and sat still for a moment before answering.

“I suppose so. Papa woulda kilt me if I didn’t kill him.”

“You feared for your life?” Mr. King continued to stare intently at Esther.

“Yessir.”

Mr. King abruptly stood up and shook the sheriff’s hand.

“I have all I need.”

He left quickly, so quickly that it startled Esther. She looked at the retreating back and worried that she had offended such a gentleman.

“Am I gonna get the Chair?”

The sheriff stood slowly, as if it hurt him to do so. He closed his eyes for a moment before answering. His voice, when he spoke, was softer than Esther had ever heard it.

“No. You’ll get twenty-five years in the women’s prison in San Antone. Minimum.”

Esther started counting on her fingers.

“You’ll be about forty-four, Esther.”

“Damn. I reckon I’ll be too old to catch a man by that time.”

The sheriff felt his chest tighten just a little at those words.

“And mama? How old’ll she be?”

“How old is she now?”

Esther paused, deep in thought.

“Says she was born in 1901.”

“Then she’ll be about sixty.”

Esther nodded, standing, and smoothing out her skirt.

“Reckon she’ll take me back when I get out?”

The sheriff scratched his forehead and looked at the floor.

“I don’t know, honey. I just don’t know.”

**************

II

They’re calling us heroes. The newspapers, that is. I suppose we are, but I don’t know that I feel heroic. I do, however, feel a difference in me now that papa’s dead. Liberation would be the word. Papa would have hit me if I had ever used that word in front of him.

Papa had been drinking, of course. And smacking mama around. Cassie and I were hiding out in my room, wondering when it would all stop. At one point, I heard mama scream. That’s when I went out to investigate.

Papa was pointing a gun at mama. I didn’t even think about what to do. I just did it. I stepped in front of mama just as papa shot. The bullet hit my bible. Yes, I carried a bible with me, right over my heart, but only when I was wearing overalls. It was fortunate that I was wearing them at this point.

I staggered backward and fell. The impact of the bullet stunned me. Mama fell as well, trying to hold me up. That’s when Cassie came charging out of the room and started to wrestle with papa, trying to get the gun out of his hand. We heard another shot. Papa took a bullet to the gut. He died two hours later, in a lot of pain.

Cassie stood and fairly sprinted out of the house. She came back a few minutes later with her dad. The sheriff. The look on his face was one that will not soon leave me. Pinched and drawn, with worry written clearly in the eyes.

Mama should have never been home. She was supposed to go to San Antonio to see her sister, but papa beat her so bad the night before that she refused to go. I believe that papa beat her so severely so she wouldn’t go. He was like that.

Cassie shouldn’t have been there either. Her father told her never to go to my house when my papa was around, but Cassie often defied her father. Her father was so relieved that Cassie wasn’t injured or killed that he never punished her. On the contrary, he hugged her tightly and kissed her on the cheek. I had never seen him do that before!

I’m supposed to write a story for the newspapers. The one in San Antonio wants to give me – and Cassie – fifty dollars each for our story. An astounding sum. Some rich people in San Antonio also want to give us full scholarships for college. Imagine! Going to college! It’s in Denton, but that’s even better. Cassie and I can get away from the blight of the Hill Country and experience a different kind of life.

A different kind of life. I’m filled with a substantial happiness, and I wonder when it will leave. Never, I hope.

The real hero is mama, and I’ll make sure the newspapers know that. All those years of insisting that I go to school, even when papa beat her for her sass. He called it that, anyway. It was grit and toughness and love. I’ll call it the stuff that heroism is made of. That has a nice ring to it. And it’s the truth.

**************

All three steps to the elevated porch squeaked under Mr. King’s tread, though the man was not heavy. Like the rest of the porch area, they needed paint; rusted nail heads poked out of the wood, loosened by years of neglect and Hill Country weather. The evening was soon to turn into dusk.

“Just spoke to the judge. Cassie ain’t to be charged. He said she did us all a favor by shootin’ that man.”

Sheriff Culverson didn’t show it, but a wave of relief flooded his body. He relaxed a little and felt his breath coming easier. Mr. King sat down and lit a cigar, offering one to the sheriff. Both men took some time to light their cigars, ensuring that they had a proper draw. This was not a task but a ritual, and it was not to be taken lightly.

The sheriff went inside his house and returned in a few moments, bearing a bottle of whiskey and two small tumblers. Each man filled their glass to the amount desired and sipped. Mr. King grimaced at the first sip, then took a second, larger sip.

“I reckon she did us all a favor, sure, but it was an accident. I’m damn happy the judge was of the same mind,” the sheriff said. He took another sip of whiskey and sat his glass down, concentrating on puffing his cigar and enjoying the news.

“You know, I’m surprised one of those women hadn’t killed the man before. He sure liked to beat his women,” Mr. King said.

“The mama,” the sheriff said. Mr. King turned his head slightly.

“Pardon?”

“The mama. She made that girl, Esther, get an education. I hear she took a beatin’ or two for her daughter. Damn fine woman, in my opinion.”

Mr. King nodded and smiled. He had already heard the news.

“You went to visit the widow, I hear.”

The sheriff glanced at Mr. King and then quickly glanced away.

“Offer my condolences, in an official capacity.”

The sun had disappeared behind the horizon, bestowing faint light and beautiful colors to the sky. Fireflies came out of hiding, their pinpricks of light giving the large front lawn a magical appearance. As if fairies were in attendance. As if a miracle had been bestowed.

“You were there for two hours, sheriff. That’s a lot of…uh…condoling.”

The sheriff turned and stared at Mr. King, his steely blue eyes narrowing a little. Mr. King laughed and hastened to explain.

“The old biddies in town. You know what they’re like. Most of ‘em had you and the widow makin’ a baby during your visit.”

“Vicious old cats,” the sheriff spat out the words.

“Makes sense, though. You and the widow. Esther and Cassie are best friends. They’d be tickled pink to become sisters, so to speak. And the widow’s a fine, strong woman.”

“You done have us at the altar.”

Mr. King tamped the ashes from his cigar onto the porch and scuffed them with his boots. He poured himself more whiskey and watched the fireflies perform their chaotic, beautiful dance.

“Your wife’s been gone for twelve years. I reckon you grieved enough, sheriff. I figure the widow’s grievin’ was nonexistent. Can’t really miss a man that beats you, can you?”

The sheriff poured himself another three fingers of whiskey and stood at the railing beside Mr. King. He sighed and turned to Mr. King, handing him a dollar bill.

“I’m hirin’ you for a two-minute consultation, Mr. King.”

Mr. King looked at the bill and put it in his breast pocket.

“What’s on your mind, sheriff?”

The sheriff paused for a moment, trying to get the words out of his mouth.

“I heard Esther ‘n Cassie talkin’ one day last year, just before Christmas. Esther was tellin’ her that she wanted to shoot her daddy dead so he’d stop beatin’ her mama. Well, that froze me.”

Mr. King looked at the sheriff, a thoughtful expression creasing his face and pursing his lips.

“I figure she would have done it one day, sheriff. I guess Cassie took care of that, though.”

The sheriff sighed.

“I reckon.”

“So, why the dollar?”

“We got attorney-client confidentiality now, right?”

Mr. King laughed, nodding his head.

“Yes. Very clever, sheriff. But I wasn’t gonna divulge that little piece of information anyway.”

“I expect a receipt when you get to the office tomorrah.”

“Yes. Of course. Come by after work, sheriff, and I’ll buy us a couple of beers. I seem to have an extra dollar in my pocket.”

The night darkened and the breeze stilled; even the fireflies slowed down. Soon, they were gone, letting the darkness of the night have its way. Both men remained silent. Cigar smoke curled and drifted upwards past the porch lights, disappearing into the blackness.

Mr. King left after finishing his whiskey.

“See you tomorrow, sheriff. And I’ll expect a wedding invitation.”

“I want that receipt, young man.”

The rest of the night passed as it should have. Frogs croaked lazily, crickets chirped, and lights winked out one by one across the countryside. Two young ladies were dreaming of adventures at college, one sheriff was thinking of matrimony, and one widow was contemplating the mysteries of fate and providence.

The bible with a bullet hole in it was, in due time, returned to its rightful owner. The whereabouts of the mangled word of God is currently unknown.


May 05, 2023 19:03

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210 comments

Isabel Quinones
18:14 May 22, 2023

you should make a cover to it like deadass!!!

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Delbert Griffith
18:23 May 22, 2023

Quite an idea, Isabel. Thanks for the suggestion. Cheers from Texas!

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Sultan Rysbek
16:31 May 22, 2023

Good story bruh and congratulations griffith

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Delbert Griffith
18:21 May 22, 2023

Thank you, Sultan. Much appreciated. Cheers!

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Pat Ruhe
20:08 May 20, 2023

Hello Delbert, very much enjoyed your story! I will be using it this week as the story for our Literary Shorts club. We are a group that meets weekly via Zoom to discuss short stories that someone has found and thinks is worthy of discussion. Could you please send me some background information on you and your story. My email is ruheroy@aol.com. Thank you. Pat Ruhe P.S. We meet on Monday afternoons at 1:00 pm via Zoom and you are welcome to join us if you like. Let me know.

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Delbert Griffith
21:42 May 20, 2023

Thank you very much for the praise, Pat. I appreciate it. I'll send you some information, via email. I don't know if I can make the Zoom meeting, but I'd love to drop in if I'm available. It sounds like a great club.

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Barb Griffith
17:27 May 20, 2023

Congratulations, Del! I recently joined Reedsy and have been reading the wonderful stories posted. Your story had me hooked from the opening line. I love the biblical references. I can’t add much to my comments that hasn’t already been mentioned by others, but I wanted you to know the impact your story had on me. I’m also a retired teacher, and coincidentally, we share the same surname. I’m looking forward to reading more of your incredible stories, and the stories other authors have posted on this site!

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Delbert Griffith
18:42 May 20, 2023

Thank you very much, Barb! I appreciate the kind words, truly. And, yes, we share the same surname, which I don't see very often. Welcome to Reedsy, Barb Griffith! I'm pleased that you liked the tale. It was a tough one to write and required a lot of editing, but it turned out like I wanted it to turn out. Good luck, Barb, and share some writing with us. Cheers from Texas!

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Barb Griffith
00:14 May 22, 2023

Thank you so much, Del! I have a LOT to learn as a writer, but I do love to write : ) I also love that you share the same name (and we both share the same last name) as John Candy’s character, Del Griffith, in “Planes, Trains and Automobiles”. It’s one of my favourite movies!

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Delbert Griffith
00:18 May 22, 2023

LOL yeah, I get that a lot. John Candy is amazing, right? Yes, just write, write, write and study, study, study. There are some amazing authors here, and I've learned so much from them. I wish you good fortune, my friend. Cheers!

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Andrea Hanssen
00:28 May 20, 2023

"The mangled word of God" is such a resounding finish to the story and I feel like it plays into an undertone that carries, intentionally or not, throughout the story. In the first version, Esther was facing a quarter of a century in jail after she killed her father for domestic violence. However, when her friend Cassie barged in and shot her father after he pulled a gun on Esther's mother, everyone called them heroes. I thought it was interesting, how the mother was beaten so badly she couldn't travel (I assume she was beaten in the first v...

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Delbert Griffith
10:15 May 20, 2023

Thank you very much for the praise and the wonderfully perceptive analysis, Andrea. I appreciate it, truly. As you noted, much of what I wrote was a diatribe against hypocritical Christians, but also to highlight the stultifying effect that poverty and the lack of education has on a society. The inviolate patriarchal society of the post-Depression era also shares some of the blame for Esther's ills, and her mom's abuse. The whereabouts of the Bible, being currently unknown, was another shot against hypocrites in religion. The word of God ...

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Xiaoyong Sun
13:27 May 19, 2023

The bullet might not have blown Esther's dad, but the story definitely blew my mind! \(>_<)/

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Delbert Griffith
17:31 May 19, 2023

Thank you very much, Xiaoyong. I appreciate the praise, my friend. Cheers!

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Glenna Agnew
22:33 May 18, 2023

I really enjoyed your "sliding door" story. It is very much in tune with my style which has a hint of the dark side slithering out of my brain and onto my page. I enjoy the many senses that flow through your words, they help evoke so many emotions for your readers. Great job! Congrats!

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Delbert Griffith
23:02 May 18, 2023

Thank you very much, Glenna. I appreciate the kind words and the congrats. Cheers!

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Graham Kinross
13:25 May 17, 2023

Wow, excellent. That sign off at the end was brilliant. I like the change of voice, reminded me of Flowers For Algernon a little. Crafting an upbeat story about the death of a father is an achievement. Well done.

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Delbert Griffith
10:28 May 18, 2023

Thank you very much, Graham. Truly. Coming from an excellent writer like you, it means a lot. I never thought of "Flowers for Algernon." At least, not consciously. Perhaps all the books we read during our lives all contribute to our tales in some manner, even if we aren't aware of it. Yes, the father was a POS. Good riddance to bad rubbish, as they say. Again, thank you, my friend. Cheers!

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Graham Kinross
10:36 May 18, 2023

You’re welcome. I think everything we experience goes into our work. Reading things we don’t like helps us avoid the same mistakes. Reading different styles helps broaden our range. I liked your experimentation in this.

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Maxwell Stevens
13:05 May 17, 2023

I really liked the story. Great job on winning the contest I hope you win more soon. I'm voting for you!👍👍👍🫠🙂😭😁 M

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Delbert Griffith
10:29 May 18, 2023

Well, thank you very much, Maxwell. I appreciate the congrats and the kind words, truly. Cheers from Texas!

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Norah Mazzola
22:08 May 15, 2023

This is amazing! I really like this story. It's really well-written and descriptive. I enjoyed reading it.

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Delbert Griffith
09:57 May 18, 2023

Thank you very much for the praise, my friend. I appreciate it. Cheers!

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Geir Westrul
19:56 May 15, 2023

What a GREAT way to start the story: "I shot papa square in the heart but he didn't die. That damn bible he carried with him saved his life. I was considerable lucky that papa had his axe at hand, and that he kept it sharp. I picked it up. It was a heavy thing, so I swung with all my might and put it right through his head. Seein' his brains made me throw up. I moved away so it wouldn't get on papa. That would be disrespectful." ... and then this ... "Wouldn't you know it, he came to arrest papa for stealin' a couple of old lady Renner's ...

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Delbert Griffith
10:06 May 18, 2023

Thank you very much, Geir. I appreciate the praise and the analysis. Truly. Yes, it has a "To Kill a Mockingbird" feel to it, IMO. The poverty, the domestic violence, etc. Generational poverty is a real thing, and education is a way out. Again, thank you, my friend. Cheers from Texas!

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Nona Yobis
18:57 May 15, 2023

Congrats! Well deserved win, and long overdue!

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Delbert Griffith
10:07 May 18, 2023

Thank you very much, Nona. I appreciate the congrats. Truly. Cheers!

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Corey Mallon
08:44 May 15, 2023

cool storry mate one of the best storry i ever read

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Delbert Griffith
09:38 May 18, 2023

Thanks! :)

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Philip Ebuluofor
06:01 May 15, 2023

Yeah, bible with bullet hole and an ax with blood smears. Blackbullet cult. Congrats

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Delbert Griffith
09:47 May 18, 2023

Thank you, Philip. I appreciate the congrats. Cheers, mate.

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Philip Ebuluofor
15:10 May 19, 2023

Welcome.

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05:49 May 15, 2023

Great read Delbert. You handled the accent perfectly in the beginning and popped out of it at exactly the right time. This is a real piece of literary fiction, with amazing prose, scenes and character voice running throughout. Impressive. I had to read the cliffnotes ("the przy-notes") in comments to catch all the hidden layers of meaning. And an alcoholic dad dies twice in the same story, , I think you've mastered the dead dad litfic story hehe. When the right prompt comes up I might try a Quentin Tarantino style dadpocolypse in the multi...

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Delbert Griffith
09:46 May 18, 2023

LOL Yes, a dadpocolypse would be a great read! I'm down for that! Thank you very much for the praise, my friend. It means a lot, coming from you. And, yes, I have to read Michal's notes to know if what I wrote was any good. LOL Thanks you once again, my friend. Cheers!

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John K Adams
03:52 May 15, 2023

Delbert, you weave a great story. Once again, congratulations!

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Delbert Griffith
09:44 May 18, 2023

Thank you very much, John. You're a class act, my friend.

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03:20 May 15, 2023

Hi! I love this story! I'm new, so I wouldn't mind some tips for writing! If you ever publish this book, I wanna be the first person to get a copy!

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Delbert Griffith
09:43 May 18, 2023

Thank you very much, Mihini. I appreciate the kind words. Listen, just keep on writing, no matter what anyone says. This site, however, has very positive people. You'll get good advice here. Cheers!

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15:01 May 14, 2023

I absolutely loved your story, Delbert. The tone and voice reminded me of “To Kill a Mockingbird” somehow. Loved everything about it. My favorite detail was how discreetly you suggested that Esther was African American: “beating the tar out of me…” Masterful describing someone’s race using a colorful phrase like that. Your story sure belongs in a short story magazine. I’ll definitely read all your stories and expect to be rewarded and transported to enchanting worlds just like after reading this. Thank you for enriching my mind and S...

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Delbert Griffith
09:41 May 18, 2023

Thank you very much, Gabriela. I appreciate the kind words, my friend. "To Kill a Mockingbird" has inspired more than one tale by me. I admit that this one has that feel. The poverty, the desperation of poor people, domestic violence. Yes, it fits. Again, thank you, Gabriela. Cheers from Texas!

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Tommy Goround
01:11 May 13, 2023

Boom. There it is. :)

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Delbert Griffith
09:53 May 13, 2023

Stiff competition is validation of quality. Of course, you would have half a dozen wins under your belt if the system were perfect. Cheers, my friend.

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Liv Chocolate
00:25 May 13, 2023

YES!!!! I'm so happy for you, Delbert. I saw your name on my Laura's email this morning and immediately put this story on my to-read list for today. First off, I was completely shocked and even more intrigued when the redneck teenage boy I was imagining at the beginning was revealed as a nineteen year old girl. (Female killers are always more intriguing for some twisted reason.) Little details like spelling ominous as "omnus" stayed true to the character and said so much about her in so little space. Part II, we see the stark contract be...

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Delbert Griffith
09:50 May 13, 2023

Thank you very much, Liv - for the congrats and for praise of my little tale. Coming from you, it means a lot. I, like you, enjoy female serial killers. My incipient novel is about a female serial killer that kills other serial killers. A female Dexter, if you will. Her best friend is an ex-Mossad agent, and she lives next door to an old woman that drives her crazy with kind acts, causing the serial killer to re-evaluate everything she thinks she knows about life. You know, Esther made my heart tighten a little when she was trying to figur...

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