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Mystery Funny Crime

               Welcome, Spy. Please enter your name.

               Jon.

               The mission you are about to receive, Jon, is of the utmost urgency. Our national security is threatened, the very last threads of democracy hanging in the balance. Only the best were considered for such an overwhelming task, and your reputation proceeds you.

               The task is simple: Eliminate the enemy assassin. This may be more difficult than you think, and every decision you make will drastically alter the end results. You must think carefully and critically before taking even the smallest action. Do you accept this mission, on behalf of God and country?

               Yes.

               Very good, Jon. Please stand by for details.

               Outside your hotel room, warm windows glow down the bustling street, illuminating the partygoers and bar hoppers. Few taxis meander their way through the narrow road, picking up any strays that have wandered too far from home. You inhale one last drag of your cigarette before smashing it into pile already accumulating in the ashtray. Tonight would be tricky. Your expertise was in spying, not assassination. But your country needed you. Of course you accepted.

               That wasn’t the only reason, though. It had been too long since you’d felt the danger of being caught in the act. Intelligence gathering had the good fortune of leaving no evidence of wrong-doing. A murder was a little harder to hide.

               You run through the details again. An enemy wanted the Senator dead. What enemy, you don’t have the privilege of knowing, but you know they’ve sent an agent to the party tonight to end the Senator’s life. The few bits of information you have at your disposal are that:

1.      The agent is male.

2.      The agent plans to use poison.

3.      The agent will have a thick accent when speaking your language.

It’s not much to go on, but you’ve handled jobs with less. You check your watch. The party is set to start in an hour and you haven’t dressed yet. You look at the three suits you’ve been supplied. There’s the flashy red suit which, while being terrible for stealth, has more pockets to carry items in; the blue suit- less flashy, but less pockets; and the black suit, providing the most amount of stealth but the least amount of pockets. Whichever you choose may affect how you are able to move through the party. Which suit do you choose?

Black suit.

You take the black suit off the hanger. While you might have less places to carry things, slipping unnoticed is the top priority. Nondescript and silent, the black suit will let you walk away from any scene practically unbothered. You take your time putting it on. It has been fitted for your exact dimensions and not a crease is out of place. You take a moment to admire yourself in the mirror before walking over to your suitcase. In the bottom of the suitcase there is a small cord. You pull the cord and the false bottom opens, revealing the arsenal you’ve been granted for this mission.

Inside the false bottom are five items: A fingerprint dusting kit, one dose of truth serum, a smoke bomb, a switchblade, and a small pistol. All items that could come in handy tonight, but you only have two secret pockets available to you. Which two items do you take with you to the party?

Fingerprint dusting kit and switchblade.

You pocket the fingerprint dusting kit first. It may be handy for checking whose hands have touched what, and if any similarities appear. Especially near the Senator.

Next, you carefully hide the switchblade. If any danger should arise, or the agent cannot be taken out by other means, the blade will come in handy as a swift and silent dispatcher.

Fully outfitted, you check your watch again. Half hour until the party. In this time you could be there early, exactly on time, or fashionably late. You hope to attract as little attention as possible. Which time do you choose to arrive to the party?

Fashionably late.

You decide one more cigarette wouldn’t hurt and sit at the windowsill, waiting for the minute hand to make its journey. When the clock strikes the hour, you head down to the road and hail one of the few taxis. You arrive at the party’s hotel ballroom fifteen minutes late. Just in time to hide amongst the flow of other new arrivals.

Successfully blended into the new arrivals, you make your way to the far edge of the ballroom, near the food and drink table. You grab a small plate and begin to fill it with the assorted finger foods, glancing up and down at other guests doing the same. The food is not poisoned, then. The agent would not be so bold as to poison the entire party.

Away from the table you look about you, searching for anything that catches your eye. In the far corner you see the Senator chatting away with others. You’ve been advised not to make yourself known to the Senator, though he knows someone is here to protect him. His knowing your face may make it easier to hide amongst his crowd. You also see a woman alone on the stairwell, observing the party from above. There are few people around her and she seems engaged with none of them, only with scanning the ballroom floor. Lastly, you notice a man in a bright green suit, off in a corner and talking to himself. Other partygoers are giving him a wide berth and he seems lightly erratic.

Which of these do you choose to investigate: The Senator, the woman, or the man?

The woman.

You meander your way over to the staircase, plate of food before you, and manage to quietly situate yourself a few steps behind and to the left of her. From up here you can see the entirety of the ballroom, the exits, the paths, the people- a very strategic view. You wonder what the woman could possibly need this kind of view for if she wasn’t also planning something. She hasn’t noticed you yet. You could make yourself known or attempt to watch her. Which do you choose?

Make myself known.

You approach the woman.

“Bruschetta?” You ask, offering her the plate.

She appears startled. You keep that reaction in mind as you take your own snack off the plate to indicate its safety. The woman looks at you warily but takes some bruschetta.

“Who are you?” she asks, turning back to look over the floor.

“Just someone who thought you looked a little lonely up here,” you say, positioning yourself next to her, “But I can see why you are. It’s a very nice view.”

At that she throws you a glare but says nothing. She seems concentrated.

“Perhaps you’re looking for someone?” you venture.

She crosses her arms and turns towards you. “What’s it to you, anyway? Why are you bothering me?”

Confront her or back off?

Confront.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that at a party, guests tend to mingle and chat, not place themselves at the highest point and scan the area all night. You seem a tad suspicious.”

She freezes, eyes wide. Her mouth opens and closes a few times without sound. Finally she mutters, “I was looking for my boyfriend,” and storms down the stairs. Do you follow her?

No.

You don’t chase after her. She was clearly hiding something but hiding it so poorly that it may not involve your own mission. Still, you wonder what she was really doing up here. You look at the railing she’d rested her hands on before leaving and think of the fingerprint dusting kit. She’d been there for a while. Surely some good prints would be there, but you’re still unsure if she’s really important or not. Use the fingerprint dusting kit?

Yes.

With a practiced hand, you sprinkle the powder and dust for prints. You use your appetizer plate as a shield to keep anyone who sees you from below from seeing the dusting occurring. Sure enough, you manage to get a few full prints and put them back in your pocket.

You can’t stay up at the top of the stairs for long. You initially came up here because the woman surveying the ballroom looked suspicious- you don’t want the same to happen to you. Before you go, though, you take a quick look around to see what there is to see.

You see the Senator again, this time closer to the restrooms. The restrooms are a little hall off to the side of the ballroom. There seems to be a drink table just outside each door, allowing for guests to set their drink down and come back. You see the woman near the food table, arms crossed, tapping her foot, and looking around in a clearly agitated state. You look towards the corner the man in the bright green suit had occupied, but he has disappeared. When you head down the stairs, which would you like to investigate further: the restrooms, the woman, or the missing man?

Restrooms.

You head down towards the restrooms just as you see the Senator go in. His drink must be on the table, but which one? You do not have the Senator’s prints to be able to tell and there isn’t much time. If the poisoning is to happen in this little hallway, you don’t have time to dust and stay hidden.

As you contemplate this, a man with greying hair passes you on his way to the restroom. In your black suit, you’ve been completely overlooked. You watch as he passes the drink table and, instead of putting his glass down, dumps his glass’s contents into another. Do you stop him or let him walk away?

Stop him.

Dropping your plate, you reach out and grab his shoulder. He turns towards you and, realizing you saw him dump his drink, drops his glass which shatters in front of him. Broken glass stands between the two of you in the narrow empty hall. Confront him or back off?

Confront him.

“Sir, what did you just pour into that glass?” you ask.

“Champagne,” the man says quietly.

You raise an eyebrow. “Really? Why pour perfectly good champagne into another man’s glass?”

The man grimaces, his teeth bared. He looks like an animal ready to attack.

“It does not matter,” he says, and with more than one word forced out of him, you hear a very thick accent. Your hand twitches above the pocket with your switchblade. You have two options: Attack now or try to talk him down. Attacking now might mean the element of surprise, talking him down may mean the option to get him somewhere more convenient to kill.

Which do you choose? Attack or talk?

. . .

. . .

. . .

Which do you choose? Attack or talk?

. . .

. . .

. . .

Hello? You there? Which do you choose?

. . .

. . .

. . .

Please type a command. Attack or talk?

. . .

. . .

. . .

Hey, man, I don’t know where they went either. I’m trying to get them to respond to the prompt so we can move on here. I know, I know, tense moment and all that, but we can’t move on without the command. Yeah, yeah, the cursor is blinking and they’ve been prompted a few times now. Not much to do but wait. I’ll send it again just in case though. Hun, I know you want to get out of that dress but we have to play this out, okay?

Which do you choose? Attack or talk?

. . .

. . .

. . .

Wait, Gustav, why’d you move? Well, you wouldn’t have stepped on broken glass if you hadn’t moved. No, I’m not trying to be a smartass. I’m just as frustrated as you, don’t start taking out your accidents on me.

I don’t know, maybe they got called to dinner or something. Or took their dog on a walk. Or a nuclear bomb went off for all I fucking know. I can’t do anything until the prompt is responded to, so stop coming for me. Christ. I’ll let you know when something happens.

Oh Jesus. Okay, no one freak out, everybody stay calm. Yes, I know it all went dark. I’m guessing they lost power. Let’s just try to find our ways back to the starting point people. No, there’s no save mechanic, what kind of coding you think this game has? For the love of God, Gustav, stop complaining about your foot, that’s really the least of our problems right now. Jon over here has to find a way back to the hotel in the dark. No, the taxis won’t be able to see either. Sorry Jon.

Alright, everyone on their way back to their starting positions? Glass cleaned up, Gustav? Okay. Sorry for the mess people. Thank you, I know it’s not my fault, but, y’know, the kid won’t apologize so someone oughtta. Good work everyone. Maybe next time we’ll get it finished.

Oh, hey, here’s the bootup now. Everyone, positions!

Welcome, Spy. Please enter your name.

Jon.

The mission you are about to receive, Jon, is of the utmost urgency. Our national security is threatened, the very last threads of democracy hanging in the balance. Only the best were considered for such an overwhelming task, and your reputation proceeds you.

The task is simple: Eliminate the enemy assassin. This may be more difficult than you think, and every decision you make will drastically alter the end results. You must think carefully and critically before taking even the smallest action. Do you accept this mission, on behalf of God and country?

Yes.

Very good, Jon. Please stand by for details.

June 26, 2020 18:49

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3 comments

Anupama Iyer
11:46 Jul 02, 2020

You write beautifully ! I loved the way words just flew through the page... er, screen, and such a wonderful plot it is! Good luck and keep writing!

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Cyndy Reads
17:23 Jul 03, 2020

Thank you so much for your kind words! :)

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Juliet Tullett
21:11 Jul 12, 2021

This was really so good that I was a bit disappointed to find that it was a game. Please write a real thriller...

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