The Christmas Secret

Christmas has found its way back around the 365 day calendar and my family is loosing their fucking mind. If I hear Mariah one more time, I'll become Ursula and she aint getting her voice back. It's bad enough that I'd felt uneasy since being here and decided to hide upstairs in the kids bedroom.

"Courtney! Come downstairs! Don't be a Screwge!" mom yelled from the kitchen.

The house is filled with relatives from both sides, which includes the ones that only come for a few conversations and 2 bags of to-go plates. The aunt that thinks she's above the ground that Beyonce walks on. The uncle that is on his 4th beer before even walking through the front door. Can't forget the messy cousins that don't hold back with the come backs. I gotta say though, Nae Nae is my favorite cousin for that reason.

"Oh my! I know that aint Courtney coming down them stairs. Girl you done got so big." said Aunt Cinthia while blocking my way to the kitchen with her arms out.

I can't stand her drunk ass either. I been this tall for at least 2 years now, which sounds about right sense the last time she saw me was at Brandon's funeral. She poured her last bit of liquor on his casket as they were bringing his body down and Dan lost his shit.

"Hey auntie." I said dodging a hug and followed my noes to mamma.

"She's just as rude as I remember. Dan, why don't you tear that ass up for once and maybe she'll have some kinda respect for...." aunt Cinthia's voice finally blended with the rest of this Christmas horror show as I made my way to mama. I could feel my Dan's scolding eyes peering into my back. I saw Mama, Mama saw Dan and then she looked from him to me with a face of slight disappointment.

"All I ask is for one day love. Can you do that for mama?" she asked me in a soft voice only meant for me to hear. I nodded and she kissed my forehead before returning to sweet potato pie she'd brought.

Mama was the only one who ever understood me. Then again, until 5 years ago, it was only Mama and me. Then she'd met Dan and everything changed. He was cool and all, I guess. I aint ever had a good idea of what a Dads roll was outside of TV and a few friends who had theirs. Only God knew wear mine was.

"Hey Co Co. I been looking for you." Nae Nae had finally showed up and her little sister was still the little duckling following behind her.

"Hey cuz. Hey little Reana." I didn't have to look down anymore to say her name. She'd gotten taller.

"I'm almost as tall as you so shut up." Reana snapped at me. Sassy as always.

It was only then that I allowed myself to fill comfort with a family that felt like strangers to me most of the year. The music had finally switched to a family reunion sound track and brought the house to life in the living room. Dan had snatched up mama from the kitchen, Uncle Robert grabbed his sister Aunt Jody, and even I'd cut up with my cousins when Kang Wang came on. It was finally starting to feel like I belonged with this family as joy and laughter filled the crowded room.

"Hey Courtney, come here real quick." Moni said to me from across way behind the couch that separated the dance floor from the rest of the loving room.

I was about to make my way from the center of said dance floor anyway because I could no longer feel the AC and was sweating like a sinner in church. Uncle John's two story home felt like the 1 bedroom apartment mama and me were staying in when we first met Dan.

"Come outside." Moni said breaking through the crowded family members for the back door.

For some reason, the air seemed to change. Moni and I were cool, but not close. She was in Elementary school with Reana while Nae Nae and me were in High School. I couldn't even recall the last time we'd spoke before this.

"What's up?" I asked her as the back door shut behind me.

She just stood their for a minute and seemed to ponder on a thought that she couldn't yet put into words.

"Can you help me with something?" she asked in a timid voice.

"What do you need help with?" I asked confused of the reason behind her tone.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me farther from the house. Uncle Johns backyard was pretty big, as most were on the country side. He had 3 large trees, 2 sheds, an in stalled paved pool and a beautiful garden that Aunt May, his wife, lived in. There was a curved paved path that split the the yard from the deck of the house past the pool to the left of it. The first shed was closer to the garden and the big tree on the right side of the path. The second tree was past that and closer to the end pool, but the third tree and 2nd shed were in the back. The far back after the path ended.

"Do you hear her?" Moni said now determined.

I did hear her.

"Was that a scream?" I almost didn't want to ask.

Uncle John would always tell us to stay on the path by the house and to not to go past the third tree. The grass was almost never cut and the Shed behind it looked abandoned. He'd say that we had plenty of yard to play in and that there was no need to do anything else with it.

"Her name is Sam." Moni told me.

My eyes cut to her so quick in shock. The fact that she knew her name had my mind scrambling for questions, but I couldn't make sense of which one I wanted answers to at first. After finding my breathe again I finally asked one.

"Who is Sam?" I asked. I was terrified of the answer.

"The girl Uncle John and Dan brought here a year ago. I don't think they thought anyone saw them, but I did. I heard a noise coming from the backyard that woke me and looked out my window to see Uncle Dan carry a sleeping girl inside the shed while Uncle John held the door for him. Then when I told...." her words became distorted.

My heart dropped to my feet. The sky felt like an hallucination. Everything felt like it was spinning and nothing made since. I was panicking. I didn't even have questions, let alone words. I wanted to save her. I wanted to tell someone. I had to get to the house. Mama! I had to tell Mama!

"Hey where are you going?" Moni had grabbed my arm right before I could open the back door back into the house.

"I have to tell Mama!" was all I could get out.

"No! You'll get us in trouble!" she yelled at me.

"Then why did you tell me this Moni!?!" I yelled back.

"The new latch is heavy and I couldn't open it to give her some food. She's waiting for me and I think it's been a while since she ate."

"What are yall doing back here? Everyone else is.... What's wrong Co Co? Nae Nae asked.

She'd been looking for me and must of saw me leave out with Moni. I have to tell her. I have to tell her everything.