The Little Thing In Life...

When people say they can’t, it bothers me. People take one look at trying, and just give up. It makes me just pity them, when they shake their head and walk away, thinking that they won’t, and never will. I wish I could be that person walking away shaking their head because at least I would be HUMAN. I wish for a lot of things, one being a new bed.

 Over these past years I admit I have changed a lot. Well you probably won’t understand though. I also admit to my faults of being a quitter. There are a couple of things in life I would like to give a “shout out.” One, my conscience. Do you know the minute angel and devil sitting on your shoulder telling you if you should eat that extra slice of pie? My conscience has helped me not get thin. 

Also, my phone charger. To keep my phone alive, this charger needs to have ridiculous strength to keep at it. It helps keep my phone alive, so I can see those inspirational quotes on my notifications, and those mediation things, so, therefore, I don’t blow my top at my soccer coach.

 I also want to thank my boyfriend. He is a sweet guy called David, and he has curly dark hair, cocoa eyes, and a lopsided, reassuring smile. He was always there for me.

 One more thing, songs. I remember when I was dancing in my room, holding my cat, and singing my heart out. I got out of it with no scratches though! Songs made me happy, so I didn’t worry about my boyfriend cheating on me. This is just my fault, I have done this to myself. 

“Audrey when humans do something bad, do they vanish?” I snorted in my drink and turned to stare at you, your big brown eyes curious. 

“No Wynona, I don’t think so.” 

Do we? 

You continue to ponder this idea, then smile widely. 

“Ohhh, so when you die do you come back as another thing?” I stare at you with interest, wondering what’s going on in your bright little head. 

“That's called reincarnation. Some people believe it happens.” I shrug and sip my drink. 

You continue to stare at me. I saw out of the corner of my eye, a very cute boy, tapping his shoes, and dribbling a ball. You clamber onto my lap and stare at him with wide eyes.

 “Do you like him?” You whisper. 

I push you off, and you laugh, but I continue to watch him speechless. He steps forward, and the ball flies out of his hand, silently and slowly, it dangles in the air, and we gape as it, as it gently swishes threw the net. His form is perfect, and you shriek and clap your hands. He turns to look at me and smiles that lopsided grin that I love.

 “Hey Audrey, hey Wynona.” David passes you the ball, and you giggle, shoot it, and airball. 

You blush and race back over to me. “Hey want to come over?” I ask him. 

He smiles, and nods excitedly. As I walk to my room, he darts ahead of me and plops on my chair. I have no choice but to sit between his legs and open my computer. David places his fingers over mine. 

“Are you still going to enter the contest?”  

“Heck yeah!” 

“Do you think you can beat Nola?” There was a long period of silence, and I abruptly sit up. 

“Yes, but you need to go now.” David tries to argue but starts to walk downstairs.

 I toss him his car keys, that were strewed on the small coffee table. He runs his finger through his curls. 

“Well sh…” I silence him with a finger to his soft, rosy lips. 

“Not right now,” I whisper, then I help him to his car. David slowly drives away, as my phone screen lights up with a reminder.

 Writer call. 

I groan, and flip open my laptop, and get on the call. Mrs. Aguilar is talking to some of the other kids. I sit back, and listen as she talks about our writing, and if you win the contest you get a scholarship, to some school. My nose scrunches up in disgust as I see Nola. Her rectangle glasses reflecting on the camera. She is trying her hair, in a bun that looks more like a large brown rat died on her head. She is beaming when Mrs. Aguilar asks her to read her story. I am lost for words when she starts reading. I am lost in a world of knights, princesses, castles, and battles. When she finishes, I blink back into reality. 

Nola gets a standing ovation. The other writers who made it in the top group, are plastering on a fake smile, and clapping politely. Not me, I grit my teeth into an angry frown, and glare at Nola beaming. I then let out a frustrated yell, and slammed my computer shut. I rip off my clothes and storm into the shower, the cool water making my anger ebb away. 

She is going to win, but I need that scholarship! I angrily think. As I get dressed into sweatpants, my phone dings with a text from Mrs. Aguilar asking if I’m ok. I glance around, and see you staring at me, long hair neatly tied into two braids. I finger with my pocket knife that dad got me for my 15th birthday. It reassures me. You continue to stare at me transfixed.

 "You ok Wynona?” You nod and disappear. 

I tell Mrs. Aguilar that I had to help my mother with the dishes, but I am lying. I am snuggling in bed, when an idea forms in my head. 

Hey Nol, wanna write together? Her answer is instant. 

Sure bestie! Where and when?

 “Bestie…” The word hits me like a dark arrow, and the word lingers in my mouth like a foul food. 

How about Brennan’s! 

Why his place? 

Well he is rarely there, and nobody would bother us. 

Ok I will ask my mom. 

Wait, Nola!! Tell her you are studying at the park with Lila! 

Why…? 

Well your mon doesn’t like me… 

OK! See you when? I looked at the clock. 4:05. 

How about five? 

Ok!!!

 I growled to myself and set off to Brennan’s. I saw her standing outside the old, wooden door, tying her dark hair into pigtails.

 Ew. I shuddered. We sat down, at an old table with gum underneath it, and Nola automatically started to read her story. I was lost in the story, ashamed at myself when it ended. 

“Does it need more editing? I have had it edited by professionals…!” I gawked at her. 

“P-p-professionals!!!??” She tossed her hair back. 

“Duh, my dad owns an editing company…” 

Of course. 

“So why did we come here?” I slammed my hands down on the table. 

“Because you deserve to die!” I roar. Nola stumbles back. 

“Aud?” 

“Don’t call me that! My name is Audrey!”

 I slid out the pocket knife, and lunge at her, knocking her to the ground. She gasps, and tries to fight back. I dive the knife into her chest, and she makes a gurgling sound, as she falls back. I see blood dribbling out of the corners of her mouth, then her eyes glass over. I stand up, careful that my gloves stay on. I then collect all of our things, and rip her story to pieces, and toss it in the trash can. There, I leave her body for the police to find. On the way home, I stop and order an extra-large order of fries. As I open the door to my house, you are standing there waiting. 

“Where were you?” 

I gesture to the fries, mouth full, and you narrow your eyes, but let me in. I walk to my room to take a shower, and you are lingering by the door, a puzzled expression on your face. I walk into the shower, and wash off the blood that you didn’t notice. I hear your footsteps, but before I can say anything I feel the oddest sensation of falling. I wake up and blink my eyes, except I have no eyes to blink. I see you, Wynona call out,

 “Aud?” I try to call back, but no words come out. “Aud?? Audrey?” I feel so dizzy… 

“Audrey if you don’t answer I’ll tell mom you were late home!” Your voice is trembling, as you fling the shower curtain open, but I’m not there. You let out a whimper, and rush around the house looking, and calling out, 

“Audrey!?” Your face scrunches up in fear when you can’t find me. 

“Man, she did disappear. What did you do Audrey?” You whisper. Goodbye Wynona. 

The police found the body of Nola, and I’m missing. They think I did it because I’m gone. I don’t even know if my parents care. I see my dad sometimes staring in the realms of nothing, and my mom silently crying. Then I see you fingering through files on my computer trying to save me. That’s always been like you Wynona. Always trying to save me, or be a detective. 

I am one of everything. I am the spinning wheel on your to-small-bike. I am that weird stain on your bathroom wall that you can’t scrub off. I am that delicious veggie sandwich that you eat during your work break. I am everything. I don’t know why God showed mercy on me, or why I am not in the fire pits of Hell. 

I made a choice, and I paid for it. I did it out of the feeling of jealousness, and the feeling that I wasn’t good enough. I was a quitter, so therefore I have transformed. I paid for my sins. I am one of everything, yet nothing at the same time.

I look down at poor David, and he grieves more than anyone. He doesn’t believe I killed Nola, but I have disappointed him. David if you are reading this I ‘m sorry, love. I have paid…