I´m Sorry, But...

In the beginning, things weren't supposed to get so heated like they did. I shouldn't have left that night, you know? I was supposed to join my family, but that life just wasn't meant for me. I was chosen for this by my destiny, not turned. My family exiled me as I spoke my truth at first. So, do you want to hear my side of the story? It all started when I went to visit my mom, dad, little sister, and little brother. It was on January 16th, 2016 I believe. It was that day when I was believed to be a betrayal. We were all at the dinner table: a 5 ½ foot long, piece of light brown plywood, with divits of oak brown. I sat on the leather seat that had ¨ my name on it¨ , you know the seat you'd always sit in as a child. As I awaited the homemade meal, I began to rehearse the speech I had prepared for my parents earlier that day. I got so into rehearsing my speech, my sister even heard a few words about how I needed a change. I just laughed it off like it was a different conversation I had prepared for my boyfriend at the time. She believed it. At this time I was having a life crisis per say. I had lost my aunt, I was very close to her, I was having issues with my boyfriend, and now this. I began to realize even more reasons why I needed to do this, why I needed to tell them. My mother and father then placed the pottery dishes with scents of my childhood placed inside, on the table. When everyone had sat down for the meal, we then grasped each other's hands, bowed our heads, and prayed. We prayed for the normal things, like: health, safety, for everyone to feel happy and loved, and forgiveness for our sins. We then indulged in our cravings to feel a piece of relief from our daily lives, through food. My mother had made ham, homemade macaroni and cheese, seasoned green beans, mashed potatoes, and even homemade bread rolls. I was compelled by all of the homemade foods, due to depriving myself of eating homemade foods. I was so used to living on a college student diet, living alone, daily I ate cheaper things such as: Top Ramen, goldfish, and tv dinners. As we began to eat the food our mother and God had blessed us with, I began to steer into the speech I had prepared for my family, but was soon interrupted by my little brother telling us all about his day at school. Mason, my little brother said, ¨ Guys! I had the BEST day at school today. This girl in my class is so pretty, I think I might love her,¨ So, then I had to step in saying, ¨ Mason, you can't love a girl when you're only 8 years old. You may like her, but you don't even know what love is yet,¨ My mother then chastised me for saying such things, because I said the very same thing when I was only five. We all laughed in harmony, and then I realized this would be the most perfect time to deliver my bad news. I thought they are all happy, I should say my bad news now so they won't be as mad. So, I started to state the sad news clearly and considerately. I then said, ¨ Mom, Dad, Avery, Mason… I'm sorry, but I’m not going to join the family business,¨ They all gasped into silence, I then said, ¨ I am just not meant to sell real estate! I need a change to be happier in life. I believe I would be happier being a...¨ My father then stopped me mid sentence, and said, ¨ I will not tolerate my eldest daughter not being a part of the business my grandfather started for you and all the other generations to come!¨ I sat there in silence, rueing the second I thought I should tell them. I then blurted out what I had been waiting to say the entire meal, ¨ I want to be a writer for The New York Times!¨ I was so happy to get that one sentence off my chest, but I was awaiting the moment my mother would break her silence. She then spoke these eight words, ¨ I just can't deal with you right now,¨ That sentence is what broke me that night, and I revisit that same emotion every time I think of that night,¨ At that very moment, I knew I had broken my own mother’s heart, while at the same time breaking my father’s. My sister Avery, and my brother Mason did not care as much as my parents, but they still somehow had a say in my future. Avery who was only 15, said, “How could you do that to mom and dad, just work at Mickelson’s Real Estate Emma!¨ Mason just shook his head along to pretend he was listening. I just sat there, astonished at the fact that my own family thinks that they get to choose my future for me. They were acting as though they'd planned it out or something. My mother and father both always told me, ¨ Never go to sleep in an argument with someone you love,¨ Although, that is exactly what I almost did after that argument. After hearing my family say such vain remarks towards me, I went home crying a river, and criticizing my own statements I said during the argument. I then went home dodging calls from my mother and father, but then noticed I had one missed call from Avery. With the last bit of hope I then called my little sister, wishing she would pick up; the next thing I knew, I was having a full blown conversation about my writings with my little sister. She then told me that same night, that she hoped I would achieve my dreams, and that she was sorry for siding with our mom and dad before hearing my whole side of the story. I then returned an apology for storming out, without making up, saying goodbye, and I love you. I assure you, the minute I got off the phone with Avery I called my mother and father. The conversation started off with me saying, “I want to make sure you know, I’m not sorry for wanting to follow my dreams, but I will apologize for storming out and being quite rude tonight. So on that note, I’m sorry,¨ My parents then said, ¨ Even though we don't agree with your decision, we will support you and your dreams. We’re sorry for being so mad, we were just caught off guard, please forgive us,¨ Then we all started to forgive each other; we went to bed that night elated, and with our hearts smiling.