Luelmind pt.4: Make Me Forget

CW: Lyrics suggest drug use and self harm

*Note, this story is part four of my Luelmind series. The first three are the first stories I've posted here. Also- heads up, whenever the artist is "LOADING" the songs are mine.

"Jayden.." He says quietly. He made his way to the bathroom. "What's wrong?" He asks rubbing his back. The other shook his head as he started to hyperventilate. "Hey, hey- it's okay." Simon continues to say, continuing to rub Jayden's back. Minutes past like this before Simon heard something different.

"I-I-" He merely continued to cry. Simon watched him fall to the ground, hugging his knees. He followed him to the ground, hugging him tightly.

"...Do you want to tell me about it?" He asked in a whisper.

"I- I left them.. It- it's just me she wants.. Right?" Jayden stuttered.

I stood there with my arms crossed, watching Jayden sound asleep on our bed. I take a deep breath combing my hands through my hair. Mary needs to be stopped. And soon.. I groan rubbing my temples, before shifting my weight, getting off of the little wall. I move over to the the bathroom, seeing the bunch of spit and small chunks of who knows what that came from Jayden's mouth. I comb a hand through my hair again before going to get a small towel and a paper bag from Walmart. I used the towel to scoop the stuff into the bag, splashing it with water and bleach before deeming it clean.

I threw away the bag and towel.

I yawn, making sure to stifle it as to not wake Jayden, raising my arms up high. I sigh softly, hearing both of my shoulders pop and then my spine. It was relaxing, both the feeling and the sound. I let my arms fall to my side, rubbing my elbow. It hurt from cleaning up the mess. Why are bathroom floors so hard? I complained to myself. I comb a hand through my hair again, grabbing a pair of shorts on the ground. I change into those and climb into bed, immediately pulling Jayden close. Even while he was sound asleep, he muttered a soft quiet "I love you". I smile, landing a kiss on his cheek. I saw him smile and I felt a beam of joy in my chest. I pull him closer to me, closing my eyes for sleep to embrace me.

Once more, I let out a big yawn, stretching like a cat. I opened my eyes, arms flopping to my side. Jayden wasn't in bed. I smelled the air and immediately my eyes widen. I smell tacos. I thought scrambling out of bed. "Did you make tacos?" I ask peeking into the kitchen. Immediately Jayden laughs. I grin. His laugh. I felt my chest tighten.

"I did." He says turning to look at me. I inhaled sharply heading towards him. He was crying.I wrap my arms around his waist, kissing his cheeks.

"What's up?" I ask looking at him.

"Make me forget.." He whispers, hiding his face in my neck. I clench my jaw, hugging him tight, staring at the stove. One day, I'm going to kill her, I swear.

"Let's eat some tacos, hm?" I ask, kissing the top of his head. He nods, turning to face the stove once more, moving around the kitchen with ease. I sat down on an empty clean spot of the counter, watching him work. He looked so peaceful, working in the kitchen. I smiled seeing a hint of joy and normalcy in his eyes.

"All of them will be done in a bit. Why don't you play some music?" I got up from the counter grabbing my phone from one of the stands opening Spotify.

"Any preference?" I asked.

"Uhm.." He thought for a moment. "LOADING?" I rose a brow, but searched them up anyways.

"Are they on Spotify..?" I ask while it loads. I couldn't help but laugh a little.

"Mhm." He replies. Finally, it finished loading, and the artist showed up. I clicked on a random song and turned up the volume all the way, setting my phone in an empty cup. I noticed Jayden seem much more upbeat. The intro was pretty soft and quiet. I returned to my place on the counter. LOADING's music seemed to be classical orchestra but with techno and metal touches. Almost like Original God's, I noted.

"I want to lay on the bed-" Jayden quickly turned around.

"And Now!" He shouts with wide eyes. "This is my favorite." He grins. I smile and look to the song

"Feel kinda fuzzy

Wantin' to be pleasantly numb

Mind's a cloud

I wanna get out

I wanna get out

I wanna

……

Fall down!" I tilt my head, their voice was classic yet harsh when they wanted. I smiled, I liked it. I leaned back listening to it.

"I've only done it once

And now I'm craving it

Please stop, my nightmares

Make my brain silly 

And dumb!

Laughing at every tiny little thing

(Little tiny thing)

OooOOoooooo

Give me this feeling 

Once I laid on his bed

Skin stretching

Eyes wide like I've had 32 ounces of coffee

(Only took one)

OoOOOOoooo

I was fumbling

Can't open my cheese stick wrapper

Seeing little eyes

Everywhere

Wantin' to be pleasantly numb

Mind's a cloud

I wanna get out

I wanna get out

I wanna

…..

Fall down!

I've taken it once

(And only once)

And now I'm missin' it

Oohh

Give me something to

Stop, these, night-mares

Past few days

Have made my wrist

My thigh

Oh so sore

(So sore)

So please, give me it

And stop, these, night-mares

I'm pleasantly numb!

Mind was a cloud and it's clearing

I'm getting out

I'm getting out

I'm getting-

…….

Falling down!

I don't know what to do

Such a small substance

So Gods damned addictive

More than all of their auras

It's stopped the nightmares

But now it doesn't hurt

I wanna make it hurt" The song started introducing more metal instruments. I tilt my head. It was interesting, and I wouldn't have expected it, but, it works.

"It got ten times worse

There use to be no red

Now it faces me daily

Ooohhh

I just wanted to be pleasantly numb

But now I feel insane" There was only instruments for like half a minute, and Jayden was just vibing. I chuckled. Cute.

"(Insane)

(Insane)

(Insane!)

Searchin' for joy once more

Mind's a cloud

I wanna get out

I wanna get out

I wanna

…..

Fall down and die!

Fall. Down. And. Die!" I reel back a little shocked at the ending. However due to the transition from almost pure classical(with a few modern touches), to full on metal, it was to be expected.

"Do you like them so far?" Jayden asks facing me excitedly, he handed me a plate full of tacos too. My eyes widen, and I accept. I took a bite into a taco before I answered him.

"They're pretty neat." I say taking another bite. He sits next to me, with his own plate.

"It's just this one guy doing all that- apparently he records the instruments individually and pieces them together in some video editing app." Jayden grins. I almost choked on a shrimp.

"What?-" I look at him with wide eyes.

"Yeah! It's cool, huh?"

"Mhm!" I quickly chew the shrimp, setting my plate down to go get my phone. I walk over to him. "Uh- what song do you want to listen to next?" He shrugs.

"I don't know. Any." He says, a smile on his face. I click on a random song, sitting back on the counter next to him. I grab my plate, biting into a taco once more. I jump a little, as he kisses my cheek. I smile, swallowing the bite. I kiss him back, grinning seeing his face turn red.

"What's wrong, butterfly?" I whisper in his ear.

"Simon!" He exclaims with a laugh. I join him, turning to face my plate, finishing my third taco. "Oh- I see." He says smiling. I smirk.

"Mhm." I hear shuffling. I rose a brow, glancing at him. I pale.

"No-" He smirks, slowly raising his phone to take a picture. I set the plate down, ducking onto the floor. "No!" I hide my face.

"Aw- come on Simon~" I shake my head. He sighs. "Okay." He says softly. I heard more shuffling and tense. I sense him sit down next to me, and he rubs my back. "It's okay." He says softly. I peek at him. "See? No phone." He opens his arms, and I go hug him. He wraps his arms tightly around me. "I'm sorry, I just wanted a photo."

"I- it's okay. I'm sor-"

"Don't." He says, ruffling my hair. "It's okay."

"I love you."

"And I love you."