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Crime Fiction Funny

Joe Crumble here once again. Your beloved famous detective of Natashafalls. You saw how I made the front page of my average newspaper? I have many case requests now.

People of Natashafalls must've thought I was more than usual after my picture having Angel arrested made the news, because I am now busier than EVER! More clients than I can handle.

One Lady's request was where her dentures where... (they were in her hands.) A teacher from Natashafalls holiday school called about graffiti on their school walls... (It was a student). I was mentally drained from my weeks of hard work, so I decided to go to my favorite secret hide out. A place where I wont be bothered for more Investigations because, no one knows where it is. My usual cafe " Winters hom."

When I arived, the waitress handed me my newspaper and asked " your usual dark coffe, Mr. Crumble?"

" No, I will take some fried eggs also." I replied.

"Coming right up sir." The waitress pours my coffe and leaves me at my table.

I was finally at peace for a momnet eating my fried eggs and usual coffe. Then when I put my news paper down to take a sip of coffe, there was a tall woman standing by my table. I took a deeo breath hoping it wasn't another fan.

" Can I help you?"

" Detective Joe Crumble?" She asks.

" How did you find me? I'm taking a break." I demand.

'' Your receptionist Tom told me you sometimes come here." She admitted.

" New receptionist Tom might get fired then... " I begin to joke.

"Pleas detective Joe Crumble, This is Important! Someone broke the teapot in Natashafalls measume! Now as assistant Manager, Miss Mayor, Of the measume , I intend to find out who did this!" She insisted.

I take a deep breath of my usual atmosphere at " Winter's home'' Coffe cafe. Just for one moment I was happily relaxed but, time to solve this mystery . So I take my laptop out and prepare for work.

" Miss mayor? Tell me how it happend?"

"Well, you see... I have a video camera of someone crashing the teapot , I'll show you that." She suggested.

She pulls out a small camerea from her purse and explained it was one of the cameras they have for security at the Natashafalls history Measume.

I take one last bite of fried egg and ask to see the camera so i can hook it to my laptop. I rewatched the teapot scene a couple more times. I notice something other than his face covered in a mask. The criminal is wearing a name tag...

"Miss Mayor, do you have any employees by the name of Devon?" I say.

"Oh no! You mean my own night security guy Devon did it? " She asked in fear.

"Miss mayor, his name tage says Devon." I pointed to the screen of her camera to show her.

Later I arive at Natashafalls measume with miss mayor and she went around to ask for Devon. When they both arive to the front of the measume, I have no choice but to get the police to arrest him.

"You are under arrest for destroying the priceless teapot of Natashafalls history measume." I explained.

"But I just got back from two days off." Devon says seriously comfused.

-- Couple hours later I already see yet again another picture of me in the News paper making the arrest of employee security guy, Devon. I seit down at my table in the " Winters home" cafe and begin to sip my coffe. " Hey look at this Sue, Head line " Joe Crumble solves mystery of the broken teapot." I giggle and sip some more coffe.

Sue, the waitress, comes over to my table with freshly brewed coffe and pours some more in my cup.

"HA! Such a silly guy forgetting his own name badge." She laughed.

" Sue? What do you mean?" I aked her.

" Devon is always forgetting things. One time he worked at the cash register at the gift shop in the measume and, he forgot the keys to the cash register." She laughs and walked back to the kitch.

I eye in on the picture of the newspaper closely and thought of the video from earlier. If he was wearing his name badge while he smashed the teapot then, why didn't he wear it to work? I was concerned about this so I felt I would go make a visit to Natashafalls Candy Cane jail, and see what we thought was our criminal Devon.

--- " Mr. Crumble, I wasn't even there, I was off for the weekend of two days." Devon remarks.

"Then please explain your name badge." I replied.

"I couldn't find it when I went back to work. " He admitted.

" Thank you Devon , no further questions about the broken teapot." I leave him alone.

--Later that night I made arrangements to have the police surround the measume. I think I have real criminal in question because now, the person needed to return the name badge in question before anyone notices it was missing.

I was waiting at the security desk in the dark. When I hear our culprit tip toeing around. I get up to the light switch and flipped the lights on. " looking for something Miss Mayor?"

"Oh Joe! You scared me!" She screamed.

" Why would I scare you? You are the one whom hired me to do a job... " I explain.

" oh you are right, good point, don't worry I'm just looking for something." Miss Mayor replies.

I held out and wave the name badge back and forth ." Is this what you are looking for ? A name tag that says 'Devon'?"

She angerily snatches it from my hands " you sound like you are implying something... what do you want?! You got your criminal! I showed you a video of the teapot being smashed."

"Oh? But did I get the CORRECT criminal? I mean anyone could've been wearing that name badge... even you... Miss Mayor." I Smiled proud like.

"But.. It was CLEARLY Deven ." She insisted.

"Not when he couldn't find his name badge. " I replied.

"So? That dimily lighted Devon was ALWAYS forgetting stuff!

That's how he forgot about the security camera that was filming him." She huffed.

Miss Mayor puts the name badge away in the correct place.

"It couldn't have filmed him if he had the weekend off." I demanded.

Miss Mayor stood in silence waiting for my next move. " I could run away! No one will believe you Mr. Joe Crumble , Since I am the one with the only camera and only video!"

" Give it up Miss Mayor... remember when you gave me your camera and I watched it on my laptop? I saved a copy of it, and the whole measume is surrounded with police. You have no where to run!" I cross my arms.

Miss Mayor puts down her purse on the desk then starts to confess... "Devon costed the measume more money then it makes! I tried to fire him but, the owner wouldn't let me. He is her cusin. Devon and his forgetfull ways cost us on a daily basis. I crashed the place! I mad it look like Devon it!

I then grabb the hand cuffs I had in my pocket and say " Tell it to Natashafalls judge. I am so sure that is a good reason to frame someone else. I am so sure the judge wont send you to the candy cane jail!" I sarcastically say.

The next day : Devon was released and set free from candy cand jail of Natashafalls and In replace, Miss Mayor went in. Devon came over to shake my hand. "Thanks for believing in me! I would have gotten you a present but, I lost my wallet."

"Of course Devon! I will help you find your wallet also. Because I am Detective Joe Crumble of Natashafalls, I'm no longer your AVERAGE JOE."

December 16, 2020 16:13

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