The Scarlet Sleeve Care Provider

The Lady Charlotte-Elaine, Lady of Shalott and entrepreneur owner of Charlotte’s Web Weaving came bustling into The Halfway House for Disgruntled Characters.

“I understand you have a wounded man here who has The Scarlet Sleeve listed as their care provider.”

“Oh wow! It’s your Elaine, Little Plump Jo!” barked Imaginational Dabrowski, one of the five overexcitable canine writing companions of Little Plump Jo, a current Artisan in Residence in Malory Tennyson’s Cloudbank Cabin for Arthurian Studies. “Not even I could have predicted that!”

Jo’s Elaine had formerly been Elaine the Fair, the Lily Maid of Astolat, who in prior retellings of her story had nursed Sir Lancelot du Lac for months, fallen in love with him and died of unrequited love. She had taken advantage of Jo’s poor character definitions and plot line planning to declare that she would now be known as the Lady of Shalott and concentrate on her weaving business. She would not continue to nurse Sir Lancelot and die. She would not be floating down to Camelot on a death barge with a lily and her final letter to Sir Lancelot in her hands.

“I thought you were concentrating on your weaving business now” Jo said.

“Well yes, but Scarlett Sleeve Care, is a charitable organisation I operate. It is very good PR for successful brands to have a charitable organisation connected. I usually do not do any of the actual nursing. I come and set up the care package and occasionally use some of the cases for publicity pictures and stories.”

“I see” said Jo.

“So, I need to ask,” said Elaine “does the patient have an Epiphany Provoker and who will be writing the healing narrative for this patient?”

“I have both those positions " Jo replied.

“I will organise for the set building and schedule three publicity visits. I have quite a following of painters who work in the Pre-Raphaelite style, who will create those pictures for me. There may be additional picture opportunities which can be added to the schedule later.”

“Set building ?”

“Of course! There must be a fine four-poster bed and my tapestries and weavings on the walls. I will arrange for the builder to come. He can build a frame around the existing bed and make a little stool for myself. It should only take about a day.”

“But,” Jo exclaimed, “he is far too ill to have all that happening around him. He needs peace and quiet and excellent care, not being put on display.”

“Oh, he will have excellent care and we can schedule the publicity for later. Now I need to complete some forms for the patient.”

“Name?”

“His Excellency, the High Prince of Benoic, Sir Lancelot du Lac.”

“Really? In some cases I do provide personalised nursing care.”

“I did not think that you would want to nurse Sir Lancelot again.”

“I am sure you could write it so that I do not have to die.”

“So no romance then?”

“Well I could handle a bit of romance, please!” Elaine said, blushing prettily.

“Does he have King Arthur’s Medical Benefits Scheme coverage? I told him he should get that.”

“No, he will be paying in diamonds.”

“Who is the prime physician?”

That question had Little Plump Jo perplexed. “I am not sure - I guess the Hermit of the Forest Aforementioned could be called in and Merlin.”

“I have worked with Hermit of the Forest Aforementioned in the past.” Elaine said.

“But the most important thing to know is that you cannot tell anyone that Sir Lancelot is here. And nobody is to know about the existence of the Halfway House for Disgruntled Characters.”

“Then I should probably take a room here while I am nursing him. Maybe we could do a few publicity pictures in another location. Last time I nursed him it was for a ruptured spleen. What is the injury this time?”

“A fractured femur.”

“Well, he does not do things by halves, does he! And so, does he have a manservant to manage his personal care and any heavy lifting?”

“Yes,” replied Jo “He has Robin Butler (cousin of Sir Lucan Butler) and Petit Oz Le Cure Hardy (younger brother of Sir Ozanna Le Cure Hardy.)

“Were they Unnamed Manservant 1 and Unnamed Manservant 2 prior to the Backstories Protest March?”

“The very same.”

There was snow on the Many Mooded Mountain, wind moaned around Cloudbank Cabin and the Fog Lake seethed as it was reset for a new round of

re-enactments. Secure and warm in the Halfway House for Disgruntled Characters, in the recently imagined rear suite of rooms in Cloudbank Cabin, Elaine was setting up her own apartment.

“This is my second chance,” she sang as she put her tapestries on the walls and hung up her most beautiful gowns. She set up her weaving loom and wondered whether she should try to get a fine mirror as well.

Elaine decided that she would take the day shift to enable her to get her beauty sleep; so that she would be at her glowing, beautiful best for the moment when Lancelot would wake, gaze into her eyes and whisper “Ah, my long lost love”.

She was already mentally writing the story of her care for him

and every day she tended him,

for both her publicity material for The Scarlet Sleeve Care Provider and her own personal second chance romance she would request Little Plump Jo to write for her.

However as it turned out, the day shift proved to be quite uneventful, to the point of being boring. Merlin, wanting to prevent a recurrence of Lancelot feeling the need to demonstrate being unwincable, which had led to his hopeless dash to Camlann, was plying Lancelot with massive doses of sedative, pain relief and his usual herbals in the bean soup he brought in. The soup arrived before Elaine’s shift began in the morning. Lancelot was out for the count almost all day. Elaine brought her weaving loom into his room and worked on a scene depicting the first time she had seen him riding by the tower on the Island of Shalott, singing tirra-lirra.

On a couple of occasions he opened his dark eyes and stared at her as if she was somebody he should recognise, but could not remember the circumstances of meeting her before.

The nights, however, were a different matter entirely. The effects of the bean soup concoction would have worn off and it would not be time for another yet. Lancelot had become almost nocturnal in his sleep rhythms. Sometimes Robin Butler and Petit Oz Le Cure Hardy would get him up from the bed to sit out while his bed was remade and help him attempt a few steps.

And that was the ideal time for him to share his story, his thoughts and concerns with his Epiphany Provoker, Little Plump Jo. He was always interested in looking at his patient care chart and discussing his progress.

One evening he asked Jo “Why do you have me listed as ‘His Excellency, the High Prince of Benoic, Sir Lancelot du Lac’? I have not been completely ratified for that title yet.”

“Well,” said Jo “by the time of the Battle of Camlann, you always are. That is why you would have the authority to bring the entire troops of Benoic to aid King Arthur.”

“But this time is different,” informed Intellectual Dabrowski, “First Elaine changed her role and upset the plot lines of a number of other characters. Then you went off-script and nearly got yourself killed in the Fog Lake and The Glitch happened. After that the events started to happen in the wrong order. So the Battle of Camlann happened much earlier than usual.”

“It showed to me that the result of Camlann would still be the same. I still did not arrive in time to aid Arthur.”

“It is one of those fixed time events, as Dr. Who would say,” acknowledged Intellectual.

“Dr. Who?”

“Anachronistic nerdy reference. Don’t worry about it!”

“A great name for Merlin’s owl!” barked Imaginational Dabrowski.

“Tell me about how the Fog Lake re-enactments work,” requested Jo. “Do characters really die there? I thought there was supposed to be detailed choreography and it was more like acting a play. But at the Battle of Camlann lots of unnamed characters died.”

“Some characters are injured and some die in the Fog Lake re-enactments. It should be very safe but accidents happen. Usually the characters are trained methodically and every move is scripted. But only the named and canon characters get the training. That was part of the cause for the Backstories Movement Protest March. Malory Tennyson was using unnamed characters and not giving them proper training.”

“I heard Malory Tennyson saying that the Fog Lake is being reset now and he will be running the story of Uther Pendragon and Igraine and the birth of Arthur.” Jo shared.

“Yes, that usually happens after the Battle of Camlann. The sequence begins again. Malory uses a baby of the Tavern crowd to play baby Arthur.”

Imaginational Dabrowski yelped “I can see potential for a great story there. What if one of those Tavern babies decided that he was the true King Arthur because his parents made him believe that?”

“He would not be able to draw the sword from the stone and it would be sorted out then and there.”

“Another time fixed event” said Intellectual.

“I was wondering,” said Little Plump Jo “whether you would be open to considering a new love affair in the future I am helping you to create, in my role as your Epiphany Provoker? Of course, you must realise, that you would have to actively pursue the love affair and then I would be able to write about it and make it so.”

“Are you intending to demonstrate in your writing that my lady and I were betrothed to each before her marriage?” (“Guinevere TV movie” said Intellectual)

“that we grew up together?” (“Giles Kristian, Bradley, ” said Intellectual)

“that we fell in love at first sight? (“Excalibur” said Intellectual)

“or on the journey escorting her to her marriage?” (“Sword of Lancelot” said Intellectual)

“or when I saved her from ambush or abduction?” ”(“too many sources to name” said Intellectual)

”or when I sent captives from many conquered kingdoms to submit and pledge fealty to her?” (“TH White, Lam,” said Intellectual)

“Are you planning to justify our relationship because the lady came from a people group where women chose their own partners?” (“Robert Rice” said Intellectual)

“Or that she has suffered neglect, indifference or infidelity from her current husband or that their union was purely one of political alliance? ”(“too many sources to name” said Intellectual)

Little Plump Jo could see where this discussion was leading. “No, actually I was wondering whether you would be open to starting a new love affair; with someone who Tennyson says has been made by God especially for you?

Thou couldst have loved this maiden, shaped, it seems,

By God for thee alone

“I will consider it.”

Next morning as Robin and Petit Oz adjusted the somnolent Lancelot’s position, they talked about the previous evening’s discussions about affairs of the Fog Lake.

“Sir Lancelot was awake and talking to you?” asked Elaine.

“Yes. You would be much more help if you came for the night shift. We get him up for a bit and he could use a bit of TLC and distraction.

‘Hmm’, thought Elaine, mentally adding to her story

and every day she tended him,

And likewise many a night

That night Elaine dressed in her very best scarlet robe with the pearl embroidered sleeves, topped by a demure apron to show that she was working, and slipped into Lancelot’s room.

Lancelot was sitting up in a chair by the bed, sweat beading his brow. He stared at Elaine for a moment. “I know you! I thought I did. You are Lady Charlotte-Elaine, the Lady of Shalott, entrepreneur owner of Charlotte’s Web Weaving.”

“Or Elaine of Astolat, if you prefer. I have come to nurse you.”

‘Oh, no, Elaine, don’t do this!’ thought Little Plump Jo. Elaine had gained so much independence and happiness in her new persona. Did she still harbour such a desire to be with Sir Lancelot that she was prepared to sacrifice her gains and return to the vulnerable position of Elaine the Fair, Elaine the Lovely, the Lily Maid of Astolat who had died of unrequited love?

“I would much prefer to be nursed by Lady Charlotte-Elaine!” Lancelot declared “That is, of course, if you have time to give in that capacity. I would welcome the diversion of interesting conversation.”

Maybe there would be a possibility of a romantic relationship developing between the characters in their new forms. But they had to be the ones to make it happen. Little Plump Jo could only observe and record. For all Imaginational Dabrowski’s wishful thinking and suggestions Jo could not create the romance.

Elaine pulled up a chair beside Lancelot and very tenderly put her fingers on the pulse at his wrist, nodded to herself and wrote something on a parchment sheet, then equally tenderly wiped the sweat from his brow with a cool lavender scented cloth.

“Tell me about the Scarlet Sleeve Care Provider.” he said. “Are you nursing as well as weaving these days?”

“I am still weaving but the Scarlet Sleeve Care Provider is a charitable organisation which I operate. The weaving business brings in enough for me to live comfortably and also give back to society via the charitable organisation. It is also excellent PR for Charlotte’s Web Weaving. I usually only do administrative work for the organisation; but in special cases I do some hands on nursing. I have my loom set up over there in the corner, so that I can nurse you as well as working on my weaving.”

For the next few days, Jo found plenty to record about Elaine’s actions. Elaine had told Lancelot about the publicity pictures and Lancelot had agreed to be included. To the horror of Jo and the Dabrowski Dogs, Elaine arranged for the set building to happen and the portrait painters to come immediately. Lancelot had insisted that he had the right to give or withhold approval of the images. And he was not being very co-operative with Elaine when it came to his nursing care. Whenever Elaine seemed to be getting too familiar with him, he would wave his hand imperiously and say, “Robin and Petit Oz can do that!”

Robin and Petit Oz tried to encourage a love affair for Elaine. Robin brought in grapes; but when Elaine tried to feed them to Lancelot, he grumbled “I do not want grapes now and, if I did, I would pick my own.” Petit Oz pretended to flirt with Elaine, hoping to make Lancelot jealous; but he ignored them.

The publicity pictures were finished and Lancelot selected one of them. Elaine was disappointed to see that it was the picture which had most distance between Lancelot and herself. And suddenly the visitors started to arrive. The publicity pictures themselves would not have been enough to disclose the location of the Halfway House for Disgruntled Characters. But coupled with Petit Oz boasting to his brother, Sir Ozanna, and Robin applying for a reward for finding Sir Lancelot, the news was out.

“We will have to accept that The Halfway House for Disgruntled characters is no longer a secret and create another one later” Imaginational Dabrowski said.

The knights came to strut and boast and be hearty. Dagonet the Jester came, accompanied by Psycho Motor Dabrowski, to entertain and cheer. And many ladies came to admire Elaine’s displays of her work and order dresses for the next court ball.

Elaine found consolation in the promotion of Charlotte’s Web Weaving; but Lancelot was not encouraged, heartened or entertained. He just wanted all the visitors to go away.

And then SHE came – Her Majesty, Queen Guinevere, a perfect vision in cloth of gold and white. Sir Gawain escorted her to the bedside, bowed and then went to talk to Elaine, saying “this wildflower for me” (“Classic” said Intellectual).

It was all very proper – a visit from the Queen with her own Knight Champion. They held hands and spoke quietly together. Peace and a sense of settled rightness surrounded them. And the light shining in through the high windows caught them in a rainbow’s circle, two figures outside time - figures in a harper’s dream.

“Yes, Yes, Yes!” barked the usually unromantic Intellectual. “Catherine Christian had the truth of it! How beautifully she expressed it!”

“You will not be able to manufacture a Happy Ever After alternative romance for either of these two, LPJ! The timeless tragic love of Lancelot and Guinevere is another of those fixed parts of the Arthurian story.