Nostalgia

When the library closed the owner went and walked upstairs to her apartment. Yawning tiredly from all the work she’d had all day. Not many people came by but keeping a library required cleaning and organizing the books, taking care of them, and replacing damaged ones.

She smiled when she had heard walking downstairs, used to all the things that would come out at night. She’d grown so used to them, after running the library for a year. In fact, she looked forward to after hours. 

The steps on the stairs quickened as a young man dressed nicely, walked towards her, “You won’t believe what happened.”

He grinned sitting down at the table as a child, “I fought a dragon today, you should have seen it Lirit.”

Lirit raised a brow, “But… there are no dragons in your book.”

He nodded in agreement, “I know, so I went in another book, and it was seriously so fun! I can’t wait to face of against a with now.” he rattled on while she kept up a facade of happiness.

In reality, she was worried, a big rule when she decided to take this apartment in exchange for running the library was that books were strictly not supposed to be mixed. They were supposed to keep their order.

Lirit must not meddle even if the order is ruined, she can only give recommendations. But if the rules were broken beyond return, she’d leave.

So when he finished talking she calmly sat down across from him, “You know this isn’t supposed to happen.”

He frowned, and his face turned away to look down, “But my book’s boring.”

She grabbed his hand from across the table, “You have a good life, and you can always come out and read all the books you want, we can play anything you'd like even… but going into other books is strictly off-limits.”

He frowned, even more, his eyes tearing up, “I hate this. It’s like a prison, and I can’t decide if I hate or like the guard.”

She felt hurt at this, not knowing what to say. Standing up and walking away to the kitchen, “I only say the rules and follow them, if you can’t follow them I can’t stop you.” She took a deep breath, “I’ll just leave.”

He stood up after her, “No you can’t leave.”

Lirit chuckled at him, “That’s not for you to decide. I have my own rules to follow, and that’s the way things go.”

The young man’s frown turned to a scowl in anger, “Why do you follow them?! They’re stupid, their unnecessary! Ugh!” He turned and ran down the stairs, cursing out loud. 

She sighed, he’d act like a child when happy and throw a tantrum like one when angry. He might have looked all grown up yet acted half his age. 

She knew her words hurt him, she knew he wasn’t one to take no, but she couldn’t help worry. She was concerned over how much longer she could stay here, how much longer she could speak to her favorite book characters. 

This was her dream come true, a place where magic exists, and she could stay here just by taking care of the library. But she’d been told that many have already failed at working here. They've all had to leave, and she’d only spoken to a hand full of them.

They were all such empty people, shells walking around. And when taking into account how they were before working here, she realized they’d all changed. They’d all been such bubbly people.

She walked into the bathroom looking at herself in the mirror and frowning, she had been such a much happier person before coming here. But felt like all her happiness had been drained away, only feeling happy when she could hear him talk about all his new adventures. 

Another figure walking up and standing behind her, their reflection in the mirror looking at her in pity, “Why don't you leave? It’s not like you’re not allowed to.”

She laughed, “leave? And go where? I have nothing outside of here, I’m a college dropout, neck high in dept, and shunned by my parents. Guess stepdad got to have his perfect family.”

The older lady sighed at the poor girl, “But you won’t lose all sense of emotions. Another start, you can do it.”

Lirit shook her head, “I know I can, I can leave any time, I just don’t want to. It’s so much better, to just feel numb. I spent years loving you all, you made me feel at home, you took me away from all the hardship I lived. So if I can repay the feeling, I think I should.”

She smiled, letting out a broken laugh, “I’d wish you were my mom so many times because you wouldn’t have turned your back on me. You would have stayed, you would have helped, and I’d be happy, so much happy… so if I can make you feel happy, I think I should.”

Lirit turned around, smiling at the older woman. The woman shook her head, “Stop thinking like that. Stop saying that! You want me happy then leave, make a life for yourself! Feel something!”

Lirit’s eyes welled up with tears unable to react correctly as she laughed slightly, “But you’d disappear again! You’d just be the book character! You won’t remember me! You won’t care anymore.”

The woman pressed her hands against Lirit’s cheeks, “You need help! And I can’t give it to you… please, please I’m begging you. Call your friends, go out once a week at least, don’t stay here! Don’t stay… don’t stay.”

But the girl couldn’t hear her, she just pressed her own hand against the woman’s, and smiled, “I’m so happy I got to see you here, I’m so lucky.”

“STOP IT.” She cried and shook the girl by her shoulders, “Stop it.” She croaked, her voice breaking, “Please… please….”

And as she continued to beg, a chain wrapped around her neck, and began pulling her back, staring slow and having her pull Lirit along, when reaching the stairs the older woman finally let go. 

That’s because it was morning, all book characters would be taken back, even if they didn’t want to. And if they went into a different book, then that book would tamper. 

But seeing the woman completely get pulled into the book would always hurt no matter the character. Lirit walked to the book and grabbed it, opening it up, and feeling nostalgic. 

This was a book she first read years ago, a book that had helped her get through high school, the little adventures of a teenager with their single mom. She set it back on its spot caressing the next book, and then the next, and the next. 

Most of the books in this library she had read, but only a handful had a personal connection to her. One she couldn’t imagine her life without. 

Lirit sighed, the library would open again in just an hour or two, and had still not picked up on any sleep. She pushed herself up the stairs and laid down on the bed to sleep awhile. Waking up in time to open up the library. 

Having yet another slow and boring day. Once again as soon as the library was closed she walked up the stairs and decided to sit on the sofa. Hearing as steps came up the stairs, she didn’t bother turning to look at who it was. 

“Heard what happened last night.” A gentle voice of a man spoke. Just as he walked up to her, sitting gently down beside her.

Lirit smiled, “Everything’s fine, just a small disagreement.” 

He chuckled, smiled at her, and nudged her arm, “You know that’s not how it is… we worry about you Lirit, we care about you just as much if not more than what you do us…”

She held her head down while he spoke, “I know.”

“Then why do you think just because you’re not here we’ll forget…?” he waited for a reply but when not hearing it he grabbed her hand gently, “We’ll always be here, we’ll always remember, and you can be sure of that.” 

As she began shaking her head the man got up and kneeled in front of her, “Lirit, please… please look out for yourself, I care, we all care. We all want to share experiences, we all want to share our happiness… but you can only feel so much from a piece of paper… sometimes the warmth of someone else is necessary.”

Lirit huffed and shook her head, “I don’t need them! I don’t, I like being here, I feel so much better being here… if people out there were half as loving as you… my stepfather wouldn’t have taken my mom.”

He fell quiet, and pulled her into a hug, rubbing her back, “I’m sorry… I’m sorry.”

She’d eventually pull back, and rub her eyes before placing a smile on her face. She stood up and walked to her room, “I’m really tired today… I’ll see you tomorrow.”

His steps were heard leaving to the downstairs as an almost rhythmic set of others came upstairs. Almost like a melody as they tapped in the floor, the door of her room creaking open, and shattering the melody.

A very young girl sitting beside Lirit, “When’s the last time you talked with your mom?” She asked, “I haven't been with mine in years, I know how you feel, I know you’re lonely even if we all just stood around you and talked… you’re just so lonely.”

Lirit didn’t move from her spot on the bed, “I’m just fine right here.”

“That’s not true… didn’t you wanna be like me? Didn’t you want to travel the world like me, be free like me?... Why do you keep yourself locked up in here then?”

Lirit pulled herself up, sitting on the bed, “I read books every single day, I talk to you guys every single day… it makes me happy.”

“It makes you empty.” She said, and glared at her, “How long till you’re forced to leave… what then?”

“I’ll manage,” Lirit said.

“You’ll become empty.” The girl grabbed her hand and stared her down, “... I’m not just a book character anymore… can’t you see that? Can’t it please make a difference?”

She nodded back at the girl, Lirit’s eyes almost glimmering, “Of course it makes a difference, I’m not alone anymore.”

“But staying here won’t help you!... maybe you will have to be alone a little while! But you’ll do great I know you will-“ Lirit pulled her hand away while the girl spoke, “What?”

“I know the consequences… it’s alright… I’m happy.” Lirit said, “I know you don’t all like following the rules, but… maybe if I can follow them, I won’t have to ever leave.”

The girl sighed deeply, she looked at Lirit and patted her head, “I can’t change your mind…” she got up and opened the door to leave, looking back at Lirit a second more before walking out. 

Lirit frowned, everyone had come to talk to her about leaving, yet couldn’t understand all she wanted was to stay. She thought they were sick of her, and couldn’t see how evident their worry was.

She grabbed her phone from her nightstand, seeing the time was just past two am. Lirit just wanted to sleep right now, she didn’t want to think about what everyone was saying, because she couldn’t understand how they couldn’t see she had nothing to do outside this place.

After taking in this job she had no reason to beg her mother for help, no reason to go to their house and get screamed at. Here she was free to live her life, even if all she did was live a fairy tail… even if it would just last a couple more weeks, she’d gladly enjoy them. 

Because of the characters that made her life just a little less miserable. The ones that made her want to reach for the stars and make a family of her own… the ones that gave her the courage to leave a toxic environment.

She'd stay… if just for another day.