Christmas Thriller

Lisa looked at the last empty fold-out chair across from her in the circle. She was until now the last to arrive. The room was calmingly silent. Somewhere in a corner a radio was softly playing Christmas songs. In the circle of chairs were 5 people seated. Next to her sat her friend Crystal, who looked at the Tupperware on her lap which held some homemade cookies. On the opposite side of Crystal sat a nervously looking boy in his late teens. He, like Crystal, was holding a Tupperware. The boy looked mostly at his lap, but glanced now and then swiftly to the other people in the room. Lisa’s gaydar was usually on point and was screaming to her which gender this boy preferred to spend the night with. On the remaining two occupied chairs sat the couple that owned the house. A man and a woman not more than a few years older than Lisa herself. The woman had greeted her with open arms and offered her numerous different kinds of beverages. She had settled for a hot cocoa, which was standing on the ground next to her chair. There was something off about the couple, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it.

They were the cool kind of people, the ones that everybody wanted to befriend. Lisa wanted to talk to them desperately, but she was to intimidated by their appearance. They made her feel like nothing she would say would be good enough, so she kept quiet. Lisa bent down to pick up her cup. Her chair squeaked loudly and the sound cut the silence like a knife. She stopped mid air and looked at the couple. They didn’t seem to mind the noise. The woman looked at her, but there was no judgement to read in her face so Lisa bent further down. The chair made even more sound. She sipped her hot cocoa and her slurping sound made her realize how silent the radio actually was. She looked over to Crystal who’s eyes shot laser beams at her. Lisa apologized with her eyes to her best friend and put the cup, joined by loud squeaking back on the ground.

Lisa sat up straight and looked around the room. They were sitting in the living room of the couple and the feeling that there was something off became more and more prominent. It was a normal living room, white walls, brown couch, some pictures on the wall. She lay her eyes on one of the pictures, it was empty. Well, not empty but it still had the basic picture that you get from the store together with the frame. It even listed the measurements of the frame. She looked at some other picture frames. They were all different, but followed the same concept. A boring photo with the listed measurements. Weird.

The doorbell rang and she heard Crystal jump next to her. The woman that owned the house seemed to expect another visitor. Her man sat quietly while she stood to open the door. The man didn’t move at all. Lisa didn’t understand why she hadn’t noticed before. It looked like he didn’t even breath, but that was impossible.

Lisa heard the door close, she hadn’t heard the woman walk of even get up. In silence she sat on her chair again. A few seconds later a man appeared in the room. The moment Lisa saw him she was starstruck. This was the most handsome man she had ever seen. He was tall, had dark hair and a stubble on his chin and cheeks. He had a perfectly symmetric face an spearing green eyes. He wore black jeans and a slightly oversized motor jacket. He let is eyes glide over the people in the room. First the boy, than Crystal and he finally got to her. He looked way longer at her than at the others. When his eyes locked with hers she felt like there was nothing inside of her skin anymore. Nothing mattered and she was alone in the room with this handsome stranger. He smiled at her and showed her an incredibly straight row of very white teeth.

‘Hi.’ He said. His voice was deep and dreamy. ‘I’m Elijah.’ Lisa struggled to speak. She felt like there were no brain inside of her head anymore, she couldn’t find any words. She lifted her hand and waved at Elijah, directly after that she hated herself. He chuckled very briefly and looked away from her. The moment his eyes broke contact Lisa felt the presence of the other ones again, she heard the Christmas songs and she smelled the different types of cookies. Elijah looked at the woman and she nodded almost invisible to him. He sat down on the last free chair. For the first time that evening Lisa didn’t hate her best friend for dragging her into this. It could become a very interesting evening.

The woman spoke while her husband still sat in the very same position that he had done for the entire evening. She explained something about the cookies she had made, Lisa didn’t pay attention. She looked at Elijah and he looked fairly regularly to her. When the woman was done with her explanation she pointed to Lisa with her hand. ‘Now you go.’ She said. Her voice was clear and rhythmic. Lisa also noticed that there was no emotion in het voice, not any. Elijah nodded encouraging.

‘Well.’ Lisa said. ‘My name is Lisa, my best friend Crystal dragged me into this.’ She looked at her left to make sure everybody knew who Crystal was. Then she looked at the container on her lap. ‘And I made gingerbread.’ She couldn’t lie about this, nobody would be able to bake like this. ‘Well, I bought gingerbread. But I did that with money I made.’ From the other side of the room she heard Elijah chuckle again and he locked eyes with her briefly. She felt a warm glow spread through her body.

With force she tore her eyes away from him and looked at her best friend. Crystal looked at her like she didn’t understand. ‘Crystal.’ Lisa said. Crystal introduced herself and her sad cookies. The boy was next, Lisa didn’t hear what he was saying. Elijah kept looking at her and she was positive he was flirting openly with her. She didn’t mind, not at all. She glanced one last time at the man on the other side of the room and stood up from her chair.

‘Where’s your bathroom.’ She asked the man who owned the house. He looked at her in shock, but still didn’t move. His eyes were wide open and were a weird shade of golden. ‘Next to the front door’ the woman said with her emotionless voice. Lisa looked at Elijah as she walked by. She touched his motor jacket delicately with the back of her hand.

She stepped out of the bathroom into the dark hallway. For a moment she was disappointed he didn’t follow her. She jumped when a hand grabbed her arm and pushed her up to the wall. He hadn’t made a sound, but really did follow her. He held his head close to hers and looked in her eyes. He kissed her brief, but passionate. Like he was hungry for her. He tilted his head to look at her and smiled widely showing his clear white teeth. The little light coming from the street reflected on them. It was a straight and need row and his fangs where long and pointy. Lisa took a second look before she realized what she was looking at. She tried to move but Elijah had pinned her to the wall firmly.

‘You are not trying to run now, are you dear?’ he asked mogging her. She kicked him between his legs, but he only smiled wider. ‘I like them when they fight.’ He said close to her ear. She felt Elijah’s cold breath over her cheek and he scraped his fangs over her skin to show off how sharp they were.

He guided her to the living room while holding her arm. Her upper arm felt liked it was locked in steel. He stood there in the door and smiled widely at the couple who owned the house. Lisa looked at them, begging for help. The woman smiled revealing her fangs as well. Even the man moved impatiently.

‘Let’s play.’ Elijah said. His voice was filled with excitement. The man and woman leaped up from their seats. Lisa heard Crystal scream, she didn’t dare to look at what happened. Before Crystal could finish her scream she was smothered. She heard the boy yell in surprise. The sound of flesh ripping tore through the air. Lisa never heard such sounds before, but knew immediately what it was. The smell of blood was overwhelming. She heard Elijah chuckle next to her.

‘Look at it, Lisa.’ He said. ‘Look, isn’t it wonderful’ He looked her in the eyes and Lisa froze. She had never before seen a look that was this cold. She couldn’t make herself look at the slaughter that was happening in the boring living room with the weird picture frames. Elijah pinned her against another wall. He kissed her neck and made a small scratch. The pain melted Lisa’s frozen limbs and she started to fight. Hitting and kicking him wherever she could. He chuckled again.

‘I said.’ He kissed her and left the taste of blood on her lips. ‘I like them when they fight. The adrenaline gives the blood such a nice kick.’ He had the same tone as someone who likes to talk about good wine. He looked her one last time in her eyes and seemed to inhale her scent. He pushed her head slightly to the side and laid his fangs on her neck searching for her carotid artery. He sank his teeth deep into her skin. The pain was sharp and unbearable. Lisa felt her conciseness quickly fading. She knew there was nothing left she could do. She tried to scream, but the last sound she made was nothing more than a moan.

It was silent and empty in the room. The vampires had left everything and just walked out. The beige carpet was drained with deep red blood. Some of the picture frames had tilted a little and the radio was still softly playing Christmas songs. “It’s the most wonderful time of the year”

December 05, 2020 12:06

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Hema Saju
06:09 Dec 17, 2020

Nice try. The plot moved from a somber description to a sudden unexpected twist as if out of some vampire movie. To a certain extent this meets the expectation of Gothic kind of fiction. I would at the same time like to call your attention to the slight grammatical errors that could have easily been avoided. In your next attempt you can try placing more emphasis on the emotional aspects of the characters.


Merel Cooijmans
11:10 Dec 17, 2020

Dear Hema, Thank you for your feedback. I am glad you liked it :). Indeed, I was struggling to fit everything I wanted to tell in a limited amount of words. But that mustn't show ;)


Hema Saju
11:30 Dec 17, 2020

Keep trying. Everyone has their first attempt! Reading enhances writing. Read everyday. I love to read. If you ask then I would say that I prefer to read than to write.


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