Humble Lemon Pie

Humble Lemon Pie

When life gives you lemons, you make a Humble Lemon Pie. You are sure to find different versions of this recipe in all cuisines, worldwide. This heirloom recipe is easy to follow and almost foolproof if you set aside the necessary time. You can customize this recipe to your preference, substituting the ingredients with seasonal availabilities or what you have on hand. Best served with warmth.

Prep time: A lifetime

Cooking time: Will depend on the day

Yield: All the servings your imagination can muster

Ingredients

For the crust:

You want to obtain a thick and consistent crust so it doesn’t crumble when the going gets tough and you pour the filling over. The secret to a perfect crust is to knead all the ingredients with a steady and measured force and over a consistent period.

Kilos of Adequate Life Lessons

A dash of Trauma

Heaping cups of How You React to Things

One Foot Forward, as a leavening agent

Drama&Conflict, less is more

Sprinkles of Moral Support, for flavor

A sturdy oven-safe container

Gratitude, to grease the container

For the filling:

We want a smooth, balanced custard-like filling, not too watery and not too coarse, just right.

Liters of Self-Care (read the label, must contain adequate sleep)

Sprigs of Healthy Communication

Dozens of Life Hurdles 

Liquid Time, the type that slips from your hands

Dashes of Continued Treasured Moments

Silver Linings

A dollop of Humility

A third cup of Seasonal Hard Pills to Swallow

Lemons, of the variety that only life knows how to throw at you

Tablespoons of “I’ve Got You” Kind of Friends

Daily doses of Not Taking No for an Answer

Humor as an emulsifier

Optional but recommended for an extra kick of flavor before serving: a zest of Stimulating Conversations

Instructions

For the crust:

1. Preheat the oven to 180 degrees C, to the setting Trust the Process.

2. In a life-sized bowl, accumulate sufficient Kilos of Adequate Life Lessons, everything you've ever experienced, the good, bad, and the ugly, don't discriminate. This mix is what will give us a differentiated flavor, so whatever you have stored up, throw into the bowl and sift. For a more seasoned mix, add in a dash of Trauma.

The mix will not be homogenous at first. Give it a good stir, even if it bubbles up. Be careful not to whisk too vigorously, as the blend might topple over.

3. Steadily pour in the cups of How You React to Things, as this will allow for the batter to thicken into the desired consistency. The less we dwell on the outcome of the consistency, the more manageable and the quicker our dough will form.

4. To keep the dough from toughening up more than is necessary, add into the batter the One Foot Forward leavening agent. This will lighten things up. It’s important to keep the batter fluffy and moving, agency is key.

5. Flavor the dough with a few drops of Drama&Conflict. Remember to go easy on this potent ingredient, less is always more. Too much will overpower our flavor profile and affect the dough’s ability to rise.

5. Let the dough settle before kneading. The time needed to settle will greatly depend on the amount of Drama&Conflict you’ve previously added.

Once the dough has settled, sprinkle in (as needed) some Moral Support, it will make the process easier. Then, knead the dough consistently, applying a steady and measured effort. You’ll know when the time is right to stop applying pressure and let the dough rest. Trust your chef’s instincts.

Sometimes it will be necessary to discard the dough we’ve made up to this point and go back to step 1. Know that this is normal and can happen. Take a deep breath and start over.

7. Grease the oven-safe container with a hefty chunk of Gratitude, this will help insulate you from life’s challenges. Once the pan is properly greased, spread the dough evenly on top, while in as much as possible, keeping a level head.

8. Put the pan in the oven and bake the dough until it outgrows itself into a nice golden-brown crust. Let cool.

For the filling:

1. Start by preparing the base of the filling. Pour liters of Self-Care into a Teflon pot. The non-stick pot will prevent you from taking things personally.

Cook over low heat, progress should be consistent, slow, and steady. Immediately throw in the sprigs of Healthy Communication and keep them coming.

Always maintain the base at a constant cooking temperature – avoid boiling point. Use Liquid Time as needed to regulate the temperature of the base. Liquid Time always levels things out.

2. To give the base its unique flavor and texture, throw in the dozens of Life Hurdles. Stir constantly to ensure that the bottom does not burn, never leave it unattended. Soon, the base will become fragrant.

Prepare in a separate bowl. Dissolve tablespoons of “I’ve Got You” Kind of Friends with the dashes of Continued Treasured Moments and pour over the base to sweeten. Let simmer. Don’t rush this.

3. For the tart flavor, squeeze in Lemons (variety, The Ones That Life Throws at You) and use Humor as an emulsifier. Know that Humor blends well with the Lemons.

For added texture, stir in the Seasonal Hard Pills to Swallow. If the mix gets lumpy, dilute with a few drops of Silver Linings – a must pantry staple. The lumps should easily and quickly dissolve, most of them at least.

4. When the blend is close to the desired custard-like consistency, season with a steady flow of Things Not Going Your Way. Who said life was a straight line anyway? Follow with a few drops of Not Taking No For an Answer and keep at it. Persistence pays off.

Always remember to taste and course correct.

5. Let cool. Once the filling is at room temperature, transfer and pour over the already baked golden brown crust, creating a full-blown life experience. 

Before serving, top with a generous dollop of Humility. You can never have too much of it. Add another dollop if necessary. This will help you question the beliefs and biases you are holding onto. Serve with warmth.

To enhance the experience, squeeze over a generous zest of Stimulating Conversations, and get a taste of how life and burdens are best when shared.

Rinse and repeat.