You're not you when you're hungry

A voice I never wanted to hear again was calling my name.

"B, wake up. Wake up!"

I finally did, forcing my eyes open, and for a second I didn't remember where I was. Then I felt the familiars grooves of my wooden throne and remembered.

"There you are." Safine's large green eyes loomed in my face, and I glared at her.

Have you ever had that one friend, that convinces you to start some crazy diet with them? The week starts off so well, you feel healthy. Good, even. And then all you can think about is food. Imagine doing that diet for more than a week.

"How-how long has it been?" I asked, my hand disturbing cobwebs as I raised it to rub my eyes.

"500 years," Safine replied, smiling sheepishly, tucking one copper strand behind her pointed ear.

Imagine dieting for 500 years.

"500 years?" I shouted, trying to get up. My body didn't even budge, probably glued to my throne after 500 years. "500-"

"Yes, yes, stop yelling!" Safine yelled back, throwing up her hands.

I managed to summon enough strength to yank her down by the cross dangling from her scrawny throat. "The deal was a month! One month, you obnoxious fairy idiot!"

"And-" Safine rasped, her hands scrabbling at mine. "-look how well you did! A whole 500-"

"I'm going to kill you," I swore, already feeling my fangs growing. "I'm going to kill you, and melt your stupid wings onto toast for breakfast." My stomach, which apparently had not digested itself yet, grumbled in approval at the mere mention of breakfast.

There was a loud snap as the chain broke and Safine lurched away, gulping in air.

I glared down at the cross dangling in my hand and tossed it at her before it burned my skin.

"Oh, look what you did." Safine whined, frowning down at the ruined chain. I noted with some satisfaction that her hands were burnt from the chain.

"Don't pout, I'm sure they have plenty more of those." I said darkly, resting my chin on my hand. "Was it worth it? Betraying me so that they could torture you with an iron cross?"

"I saved your life." Safine sang, brushing off the dust on her dress as she stood. No more leaves for this converted fairy.

I waved a hand, and used the other to lift myself up. "Like you could have killed me. I did you a favour. Which I regret, by the way!"

Safine grinned impishly. "Hey, you should be thanking me. You look good. There's this mystery in your face now." She sucked in her cheeks.

"It's called starvation!" I snapped, leaning heavily on my throne. The Church wouldn't accept a fairy like Safine until she proved she could be a good Christian. So she promised to kill me. "The real mystery is how the Christians took you in when you didn't actually kill me."

"Well, I promised them you wouldn't eat or tempt their followers, and you didn't for 500 years. So they were pretty happy with me." Safine said, looking extremely pleased with herself.

I didn't reply immediately, looking around the ruins of my castle. Dust, mold and rot had covered the walls, and stolen the beauty of the place. "I can't believe none of the servants kept the place up. They all promised that they would always be loyal to my realm."

"Well, you kept eating them. And all your subjects. You also ate the demon horses. At one point I thought you would eat the furniture."

"Well, I keep my promises, unlike some beings." I seethed, pointing at Safine. "I want the soul I was promised, in exchange for dieting."

Safine didn't look half as scared as I would've liked. "So about that. I don't actually have a soul."

The wood of the throne exploded under my hands and I felt my face morph into a wolf's, as I snarled at her. "You lied to me?!"

"Fae-kind can't lie, you never asked if I had a soul, remember?" Safine smiled, and I recalled the same devious smile on her face as she shook my hand.

"I'm going to kill you," I repeated, a growl uncurling from my throat.

That got the fairy into the air. "Before you do that, the new King of Iceland wants to prove his worth. He's on his way here now, wanting to execute the King of Gluttony."

I morphed back to human form. "How many soldiers, did you say?"

"I heard it's at least three hundred strong." Safine purred, hovering closer to me. "All of them able and merciless killers, here to perform an act of god during a famine."

My mouth watered at the thought. "We'll need to set up the dining table. I can't seem like a bad host to my dinner guests."

"Of course not." Safine agreed. "In fact-"

An arrow cut its way through the air and into my chest.

"It is I, Charles I, demon. Here to slay you and rid the land of the curse of your existence. Beg for-"

The fairy tsked. "That was a bold opening. Arrow right to the chest."

I snapped off the arrow, fighting the urge to swallow it. "Indeed, but so rude."

"Right? So rude." Safine rolled her eyes. "He should have thrown pastries at you or something."

"Excuse me! I was talking." Charles I cleared his throat. I stared at it, smelling the warm blood inside and the pulse in his neck. Meat.

Charles consulted his notes. "Where was I? Beg for mercy-"

Normally I liked to play with my food, but I'd never been kept waiting for 500 years before.

I lunged across the room in wolf form and bit his head clean off. For a moment, there were no thoughts in my head, just the smell and sight of blood and flesh.

The metal armour splintered under my teeth, and then the ribs. But it was all over too soon.

"Feeling...better?" Safine's voice asked, muffled.

My mind was clearer, my thoughts fresh. I felt my sagging skin tighten, and my muscles cord themselves again. My hands strengthened, the nails smoothing out.

I turned to the fairy, who looked much prettier now too. She lowered her hands from her face, staring at the mess.

"The other soldiers?" I asked, a little desperation still in my voice.

"Outside. The king wanted to be the only one that killed you." Safine muttered, hands shaking. "I've seen some hungry fairies, but that-"

I didn't wait to hear the rest of it, morphing back into a wolf to catch some more rabbits.

There was a hall of mirrors, and I caught my reflection once or twice, a gigantic wolf, with a demonic red aura swirling around it.

My claws, far too clean off blood, clicked against the mirrored floors. And I could smell them.

Life, food. At last.

The soldiers attacked the second I emerged from my ruined halls, one slashing out with the sword.

I lunged for his throat, and then rammed into another. The third one to attack got his head bitten off. I ripped off the fifth's hand, lapping up the blood as it poured and clawed the armour off the sixth-or was eighth?

The soldiers were screaming all around me, falling over themselves.

"Hold positions!" A voice yelled, and the soldiers stopped where they were, as a heavily armoured solider stepped forward.

I watched carefully, sensing something different about this one. She lifted a sword and slashed across my muzzle.

I roared in pain, feeling the burn of holy water. In a moment, I felt my own human hands cool on my face as I tried to scrub off the stinging drops.

Then my blood flowed, washing off the holy water, and I stood. What doesn't kill me should run, because now I'm fucking pissed.

The soldier backed up, and raised the sword.

I loved the brave ones. Their meat was never tainted with fear. I picked up a fallen soldier's spear and threw it, watching it stab through her armour.

There was a large crash of metal as she fell, blood pooling around her.

The real screaming began, and the other soldiers fled, scrambling in all directions.

I chased them down, every last one. Some I even fought with my own hands.

"Stay back!" The man shouted, face beaded with sweat. "Stay back you demon!" He swung his sword madly and I jumped back to avoid it.

"Whoa! Demon? Now that's not nice, my proper title is either your highness or King." I smiled at him, enjoying the terror in his eyes. "You know, I might not even eat you."

The man breathed out heavily, his sword wavering in the air. "You'll let me go?"

I made a face, gesturing at him. "Meat that's been as terrified as you are, doesn't even taste that good. It's frankly annoying."

"Yeah..." The man agreed, panting. "So...so you'll let me leave?"

"I would." I nodded kindly, watching him relax. "That would be nice, right? But I do love to cook." I wagged a finger at him. "And I bet I could make you taste just right."

Sheer terror bloomed on his face and I sliced his head off, feeling warm blood spatter all over my face.

I couldn't fight my urges and just started eating. This, is why I needed servants, to cook for me.

The last straggler I found at the top of the tower, shouting and trembling at the very edge of the balcony.

"Please...why are you doing this?" She asked, one leg over the precipice. Tears were whipped off her face with the wind.

"I have no control over my appetite. I need to do what I do, so I decided, why feel bad about it?" I reached out a hand. "I'll still eat you, even if you're a little spatter on the ground."

She set her face. I sighed. Humans could be so annoying.

"I can be much worse." I warned her. "And I don't appreciate-"

She let go, and threw herself off. For a moment there was only the wind, before a dull thump echoed back up to me.

I wish I could've stopped. But it's in my nature.

"So...you killed them...all." Safine's voice said behind me, and I turned, wiping my mouth on my sleeve.

"Sorry, did you want some? I think there's still some stragglers. Somewhere." I craned my neck to look around her. "I should burn their boats so I can catch them all."

"No, no, no." Safine shook her head. "What I meant...I mean, you're full now. Super full. So why don't you just...start dieting again? Just a little, nothing crazy this time." She rambled anxiously, flying back a little as I stood.

"You know what I learned from the first three days, before the hunger coma?" I waited for Safine to nod. "Life's too short to deny yourself what you really love."

"You're immortal." Safine pointed out.

"And it would be a shame to the memory of these fallen soldiers not to enjoy in their place. I'm never dieting again, Safine." I enjoyed watching the blood drain from her face. "But don't worry, I've heard Christians are really forgiving. They'll take you right back after this."

"Why don't we make a deal?" Safine pleaded, flying right in front of me. "I bring you food, and you stay here. No need to go to the mainland, just stay and eat."

I tilted my head at her, placing my hand on her shoulder. "Safine."

"Yes? I can't lie, so I promise right now to bring you food." She rambled.

"How would you bring me food?" I asked gently. "There's an ocean between me and the big, wide world out there." My mouth watered again at the thought of pastries, cooked meals, humans, souls. So many options...

"I'd fly." Safine frowned, "And that's not important-"

"With what wings?"

Her eyes widened with understanding too late, and I ripped the delicate wings off her back.

"Now look, they're ruined!" I held them up, watching the fairy crawl backwards, trying to stop the bleeding.

Safine shrieked, crying and feeling the torn remains of her gossamer wings.

"Now, to find some toast." I declared, smiling at the fairy.