First Love, Last Love

I watch the lady place the neatly folded napkin above our plates as the finishing touch for this dinner date. I heaved a deep sigh of contentment as I look how perfect this day could be... The excitement I am feeling as if the 68 years old me is back on the day I first met my first love.

I met her back when I was 16 - the age when we are all reckless, ambitious, and happy-go-lucky. I was on my tattered denim jeans matched with my leather jacket carrying my guitar as I walk towards the place where I usually met my band members. I am not bragging but...as clear as I can remember I am quite famous back then. The girls keep waving at me as I sat on the grassy ground, underneath the biggest and oldest acacia tree inside our campus. I just sat there waiting for my band members while plucking some chords, writing a song that I can't finish. And then I saw her. Her wavy hair flows on the wind as if it's telling me to look at it, followed by her bright smile while laughing shyly with her loud friend. I was starstruck, to be honest, but well...I can't be that obvious.

I strum my guitar and sing one of my favorite songs.

"Something in the way she moves attracts me like no other lover. Something in the way she woos me" I started. Yep, nothing beats The Beatles back in my old days. I continue to strum my guitar as I continue to sing.

"I don't want to leave her now. You know I believe and how" I look at her as I continue to sing when I finally caught her attention together with the other passerby.

"Somewhere in her smile, she knows that I don't need no other lover. Something in her style that shows me"

The wind carries her hair as I start to get caught up in the moment. I stand up from where I am sitting and walk towards her direction- still singing The Beatle's Somethin'

Don't want to leave her now

You know I believe and how

You're asking me will my love grow

I don't know, I don't know

You stick around, now it may show

I don't know, I don't know

Then she shyly tucked her hair behind her ears while looking anywhere except me. I know that this thing I am doing is quite cheesy but...this is my style and not to brag again, this is the style that most of the girls fall for.

"Something in the way she knows and all I have to do is think of her. Something in the things she shows me" I sing as I saw how the crowd joined in my song.

"I don't want to leave her now you know I believe and how"

I finished my song and to finish the game, I gave the final blow... What else? I winked at her and boom! The people around us whistle and cheered us on.

"Hi," I said. She looks back at her friend before looking back at me.

"H-Hi?" She answered confused. See, she responds.

"I was sitting over there, and your blinding beauty caught my eyes. May I know your name?" I asked cooly and offer her a handshake.

"Anna..."

"Anna! What a wonderful name, as pretty as yours. Anyway, Anna. You might already know me but my name is George Hawthorn nic--"

"Sorry but I am Anna," Her friend with a mole beside her nose said. My face automatically contorts in confusion as her friend shook my hand enthusiastically.

"You already know my friend so excuse us now." She said and whip her beautiful wavy hair slapping my face.

"Wait your name!" I exclaimed but she just ignored me. Ignored?! Me?!

"Emma! Emma is her name!"

"Hey! Are you crazy?!" She exclaimed to hush her loud friend but her friend just keep giggling at her.

"S-See you later Emma!" I said but she just runs away from the place while dragging her friend with her. Is she shy? Well, serenading her on the public is quite cheesy after all. I stand there even after my eyes can't see even her shadow. I just stand there still starstruck at her beauty as I clenched my pounding chest and realized that she's the one!

Then after that fateful day, I never miss a day to show how much I like her. Every day I sing for her, I woo her not just by my voice but also by exerting effort to catch her attention. I also remember the day that I found out that she's an honor student and that she's not into stupid guys so I start to change my image for her. I may look sloppy but I tried to study harder than I usually do, and voila, I entered the special class, and we became classmates. I visit her house, introduce myself and ask her parents if I could court her. At first, her parents are against it, but my persistence made them give up. I keep on visiting her house every morning with my scooter so that we could go to school together and then after class, I drive her back home. I did that every day until everything became natural. Inside the classroom, I pester her-- I mean, I keep on wooing her even if she gets annoyed most of the time, and to be honest, She already rejected me 97 times...YES! 97 TIMES and one of the most memorable rejections is when I asked her out again during our sports festival.

I am running so hard to shorten the gap between me and that guy from class 2 but I am not the sporty type so my stamina is quite low. Nevertheless, I look at Emma and screamed

"EMS! IF I WIN THIS DATE ME!" from the top of my lungs gaining a gasp from her and a loud cheer from the crowd and when she suddenly exclaimed

"LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS!" and that is my 97th time of being rejected. With that, I stumble on the ground and my head cracked open.

But as I keep saying I am a man of my words, once I set my heart to one person that's it! I don't care anymore as long as she became mine I can even catch a star, climb the mountain, and swim the sea for her... Just to show how serious I am. Because being with her makes me realize some things not just about my feelings but also about myself. With her...I am becoming a better version of myself and with that, my love for her grew deeper. My unfinished song is even making a progress.

Then that time came. After a year of showing how dead-serious I am, we naturally became best friends who hang out on weekends and visit each other's houses. Well, it would be better if it's just the two of us but her best friend Anna is always with us. It's not because I don't like Anna, I like her as a friend and even if she savagely hit me with harsh words of discouragement she still supports me.

"Hey! Can't you just piss off?" I whisper to Anna but the evil mole lady just smiles at me and said.

"Emma! He wa---urgh!" I quickly covered her noisy mouth and smile at Emma. She just smiles at us while shaking her head out of disbelief.

"Are you stupid?!" I hissed

"You are the stupid one here!" She shot back.

"You think Ems will see you romantically if it's just you two?! Of course not!" She exclaimed and flicked my nose.

"It's been a year already...Can't you just stop liking her? Can't you see she doesn't have any interest in you? And for Pete's sake, she already rejected you for...I can't even remember how many times!" She added. I sigh and look down. Quite disappointed with the reality I am obviously avoiding.

"I know that's why I said I am willing to be just a friend for now," I said and flicked her nose too.

"And how long will you last?" My brows connect as I ponder for a bit. I heaved a deep sigh again as I eye the woman of my life and said.

"I don't exactly know. What I know for now is that I just can't give up my feelings for her. I love her too much" making Anna sigh.

"You're so stupid George!"

"I know, And it's one of my winning points"

After that day I just do the same routine. Visit her house, go to school together and end the day writing some lyrics for my unfinished song. If I can finish this song before the last prom for our senior high I will sing this song on the stage and confess my love again.

And so days passed by so fast. I always hang out with them until Emma started to become so busy with the student council activity. She started to miss our siesta time during our breaks so I had no choice but to spend it with that noisy Anna alone or just ignore Anna's babbling and write songs for Emma. I can still send her home until Emma started to reject my invitation to send her home and she's not with Anna either so I started to worry but maybe one of the reasons is her work as the student council's vice president.

"Ems! Want to tag along?" I asked when I saw her walking towards the parking lot. She sighs and looks at me.

"Sorry, Georgie! But I have something to do with the student council president. We have so much work to do that I have to stay in the president's house" She explained making me automatically frown.

"Wait, what?" I asked. But she sighs audibly clearly annoyed.

"I said I have so much work to do as the student council vice president that I have to spend the night at his house," She said. My grip on my scooter tightened as I try to process her words inside my brain. She's going to spend the What?! Did I hear it correctly? I notice that she's now walking away so I stop my scooter in front of her making her mad.

"Hey!" She exclaimed.

"What do you mean by spending the night?! Did mom and dad know about your plan?" I asked but she just snorts and looks at me.

"They don't of course! I said that I am spending the night at your place with Anna" She said making me angry.

"Are you crazy?! Why did you do that?! Why did you lie?!"

"Stop nagging George! !" She exclaimed and huff angrily.

"Why are you getting angry I am just worried! Plus I don't even know what kind of person is that student council president. I can't just let you go!" I exclaimed but she ignores me and walks so I followed her.

"Hey! Listen!"

"What?! Why are meddling in my business can't you just let me go?! You don't even have the right to stop me!" She said. I stop in my tracks her words making me speechless.

"Emma! I am your friend right?!" I said and hold her arm to stop her again.

"We're friends and as a friend, I can't let you go!" To be honest I hate it if we're only friends and it hurt me so much but... If I can use that relationship to stop her, I will be just her friend.

"Oh well, If you are truly my friend you'll support me! I like the president can't you get that without me telling you?! Are you that stupid George?! Plus! Stop calling my parents mom and dad were not even married and I don't have a death wish to marry you!" She exclaimed and storm away. Those words hit me hard...I don't quite remember what happened that night but I vaguely remember how much it rained that night...and how Anna shelters me under her umbrella. I also remember how much she nags me that night...and after that Emma stop hanging out with us. I told Ems's parents about her and it made her so angry to the point that she cut ties with me and so...the prom came.

I finished my song...but somehow the melody and lyrics contradict. Making me sigh...and so the lights were turned off, signaling that It is my time to shine.

"Now! Let's all welcome George Hathorn singing his own song "Let me love you" fuck! I forgot about it! I did beg the MC and the teachers to let me perform my song for Emma 3 months ago before this day but It seems like I can't. When I felt a light tap on my shoulder.

"Go!" I saw Anna smiling at me.

"Go and sing your song for her. Sing it and be rejected, Idiot!" She said making me quite annoyed but somehow the tension ease out.

I stand up and walk towards the stage. With my most suitable clothes for this day and my guitar, I stood there at the center, roam my eyes and search for Emma but I can't find her. Oh well, Damn it all! No matter what I made this song for Ems and I will love her no matter what. I strum my guitar and the melody filled the whole room. Every murmur stopped and focus on me.

I hope this song reaches you, Emma.

"That day I saw your hair flows on the wind...My heart skipped a beat." I sing.

"And those smiles you always wear made me realize that I want to see that every single day." I search my eyes away to find Emma but I still can't find her so I just keep on singing.

"I will give you a massage if your body aches~"

"I will not let go of your hand no matter what it takes

"I will build a house we could call home"

"where I could be a good husband & a father to our kids"

I sing until I finally saw Emma standing a few meters away from the exit door.

"I will cherish you and support you... I will love you with all my heart if only you could give me a chance, love." I sing or more like say.

"love...Let me love you..." My song ended as I saw my will to pursue Emma ended too. Just at the right time, my song ended it's also the time I saw Emma kissing a guy.

My world was shut down and with that Ems rejected me for the 98th time.

"George?" I turn around and face my first love.

"Ems!" I gave her a hug, a tight hug, and kisses her wrinkled cheeks. She's wearing a red dress with her usual wavy hair but it's all grey now. Still, her beauty shines.

"You're still the beauty Ems! I wish you could be mine" I said jokingly Emma pinch my nose like in the good old days and laugh at me.

"Oh really? How sad since you're already happily married! I can even see that expensive dinner table over there" She said. I laugh again and eye the table.

"Yep, she's a wonderful woman."

"I know, 'cause she's my best friend!" We both love as the woman who I promise to spend my life with came.

"Ems?" We heard her and they both excitedly hug each other. And just like the good old days, they spent minutes talking. Yep, that's how girls are.

"I'm so happy for the both of you. George, Anna...I'm so sorry when I suddenly vanish from your life and came back with a big tummy and broken heart" She said.

"It's okay, What are friends for?" Anna said.

"Yeah, but to be honest it broke my heart for the 99th time!" I said jokingly gaining a sharp glare from Anna and a good laugh from Emma.

"Then here is your 100th rejection. Sorry George" The three of us laugh when Ems was suddenly called.

"Mom?" A woman with black straight hair came. She introduces her as Gilbert's fiancee, her grandchild. We look at her and I can tell this Angeline girl is a beauty. Gilbert chose a great one. I hope she's a gem like his mom. We greeted each other more until they bid goodbye to attend their business here in the same restaurant. I wrap my hand on Anna that made her smile and walk towards our table.

"You like it dear?" I ask. She roams her eyes around our table and saw that a gift is on the table.

"What's this George?"

"Open it" She opened it and her eyes curved upward but quickly faded into a sad face.

"What? You don't like it?"

"It's just that...I am quite sad that I'm not your first love." She said. Oh God, here we go again. I hold her hand and sigh.

"Anna, You may not be my first love but... you are a woman who I promised to spend my life with...A love that I want to be my last." I said and winked at her. She laughs it out as usual. Yeah, She just wants to hear those words for the 100th time.

"I love you, George. Happy 43 years of love"

"I love you more Anna"

If your heart were broken 100 times I assure you that someone will surely fix it 100 times more. Trust me, son, if that happened. Keep that woman. She's a treasure to be kept.

And for me it was not Emma who is my first love...but it was Anna who is my last love.