Life's Little Moments

The first time it happened, it was like a dream. Seeing you standing there like the years hadn't hadn't passed us by, young and strong still lively. The light still shining brightly in your eyes. Surreal. We sat at the train station you had your dufflebag at the ready, looking sharp as ever in your army uniform. Freshly starched. I couldn't have you walking around in wrinkles. I can smell your cologne and feel your soft breaths on my cheek as we embrace. The wind blows and my powder blue dress flutters around my knees. I grab hold of my hat to keep it in place. The train whistle begins to blow and suddenly I'm back in the nursing home a tear streaming down my face as i reach up to touch the place your cheek had just been. This was my favourite memory. The last moment of happiness that we shared together. Often reliving it. So often pausing my current world to travel back to that place. The door to my room opens and a nurse walks in "oh hun you must've been daydreaming again" I shake my head. It isn't a dream I can feel you with me still. "It was real this time" I whisper as she hands me a small paper cup with medication inside. "Sure it was Nancy sure it was" she says as she strokes my hair.

Pause... Rewind... Play...

"Nancy, darling im home" you calls out as you walks through the door from work. Before the draft things were different. I emerge from the kitchen drying my hands on my apron and step to bring you into my arms. You hold me and strokes my hair planting an affirming kiss on my forehead "i love you Richard" I say gazing up at you with wonder in my eyes. How lucky i am to have you. "I love you too doll" you smile, a smile I've seen a hundred times but never grow tired of, before heading to the living area. As you turns the corner the memory fades and the walls once full of colour return to drab beige and white. The smell of the dinner I was making begins to fade from my senses. The nurse looks at me calling my name. Its a murmur in the distance but i hear her. Still longing to hold on to the moments that pass me by so quickly. The day passes slowly and I make my way to the common area. I want to go outside today and walk the garden. Often times the smell of the flowers brings me back to the day when we first met. I stride across the walkway toward a bench on the far side surrounded by beautiful tulip and rose bushes. Beautiful this time of year. I reach out and grab a rose when one of its thorns pricks me.

Pause... Rewind... Play...

"Ouch oooo" i remove my dainty white glove and squeeze the tip of my finger, a young man approaches me "madam are you alright it appears you have been caught by a thorn, here." He says offering me a handkerchief embroidered on the corner R.T. I kindly accept and he takes my hand and presses it against my finger tips. "My apologies how ruse of me, my name is Richard, Richard Thomas" he says as a charming smile breaks out across his face. Captivated i blush and look away, stuttering i finally manage "M-my name is N-Nancy" i brush my hair from my face and tuck if behind my ear with my free hand. "Nancy? What a Beautiful name for such a beautiful girl" he takes my hand and kisses the back of it.

The memory fades and slowly im forced back into reality as a breeze blows through my grey hair, chilling my bones. It smells like Rain. I had better get inside. I move to stand and hurry toward the door and am greeted by staff. It would appear that i have a visitor. I don't get many of those these days not even our children stop by as much as i would like for them to. Only holidays or special occasions it would seem. I follow the staff to the common room. Most of the tables are full with residents playing checkerd, chess, or solitary. I scan the room and notice a farmilliar shade of blonde sitting at the middle table, my lovely granddaughter. She sees me and rushes to embrace me she has a fellow with her. He stands from his seat and comes around to pull one out for me to sit in. How thoughtful i think to myself. We sit and chat for a while before i ask her why the suprise visit. Dianne smiles and tells me that she and David are getting married in the fall and asks me if I would let her wear my engagement ring. I smile and reach up to my neck where i have the full set dangling on a dainty golden chain. A single diamond on a gold band and two plain bands one slightly thicker than the others. It was Richards. I reach behind my neck and swallow hard before unclasping the chain and bringing them into view. "Dianne, I've waited a long time for this. Of course you can" i take hold of her hand and place the rinds and the golden necklace in her palm before closing her fingers around them. "I hope they get many more years with you and i wish you happiness" a tear streams down both of our faces and we embrace for what seems like forever, but i know it was only a few moments. A Nurse comes in and tells everyone that visitation hours are over and sighs fill the room. We embrace again before she leaves. I grab hold of Davids hands and squeeze them tightly " you treat her right you hear? And always come home" he smiles at me and kids before they walk toward the door and leave. Later that night as i lie in bed alone. I begin to think of you again "Richard" i whisper as i close my eyes. I hear a faint whisper in my ears "i will love you always Nancy" and I know it is you. I will rest easy tonight. And slowly but surely drift into oblivion.