Playing Mahjong

When I went into the bar in the evening, I was not at all surprised to see my old friend. He also seemed not surprised, but he didn't show it. A professional. It's clear that they are waiting for me here, and the conversation will take place one way or another. Running away from the courier is a waste of time; they will send someone else. These guys are serious; they don't waste time on trifles. Look for another bar where you can have a drink and sit. This will only show that you are afraid of something. The danger must be met face to face - one of the soldier's commandments. As Confucius said, knowing what to do and not doing it is cowardice.

I asked myself: if I have little chance of remaining invisible, then why worry? Familiar people can and often do remain strangers, and recently acquired ones suddenly turn out to be close friends. Danger? - but in what? I am on Ceres. An alien planet, but everything around is almost the same as on Earth.

Ceres, don't be surprised. It is similar to our blue planet, with minor deviations from the original. Do people drink? - They do. Do they smoke weed? - You bet. They sell marijuana on every corner, and the mayor's office has given the go-ahead. And dogs bark in the evenings; street crime is growing, and people shoot at night? - All of these. Same-sex marriages? - Of course, yes. Are coal and oil the basis of the economy? What else. Hunger, inequality, wars, religious obscurantism, man-made disasters? - There's plenty of it. They fight for social justice with all their might, but it's useless. A familiar picture. That is, on the one hand, the catastrophe ahead is clearly visible, like the light at the end of the tunnel, and on the other, a lot of opportunities open up for the creative and brave to live the way they want. You just have to manage to jump on the last car of the train, rushing to nowhere. There's just one problem: all the tickets are sold out, and all the seats have already been taken.

We are valued not for the memories of past greatness but for what we do today. And if the mountain will not come to Mohammed, then Mohammed will come to the mountain.

- Have we met before? - I began first, sitting down at his table after the barman measured out for me a pint of the famous Irish Guinness—thick, black, original taste. Drink Guinness every day - and you won't need a doctor. I told you: everything here is like on Earth, like in a London pub. You know, the "pubs" that appeared in the Victorian era were then called "public houses"; for the English, it was just a place to meet friends over a glass of real British ale or porter.

- Don't you recognize him, Archie?

- Oh-oh... Really? Batman himself? What kind of people are in our backwoods? How many years is that? You were sent...

- We won't specify where exactly - eyes and ears are everywhere - but I see you've guessed: I work in the Department of Special Operations now. And you - ended up in the Department of Anomalies, right?

- What a meeting on a distant meridian!.. I didn't expect it, honestly. You've changed!.. Only not your eyes. You probably drink a lot. The same red moustache. And skinny, he hasn't grown a chin... Has life been a failure?

 You can't trust a man without a double chin, he'll deceive you, he'll definitely deceive you, - says a popular Hawaiian proverb.

- Just plastic surgery and a little makeup. In our business, it's better not to stand out, you know.

- And how come you're here, brother?

I'm just passing by. I see your face looks familiar: we've met somewhere.

- Really?

- My superiors have their sights on you, that's what.

- And why did your boss like me?

- You are lucky. You have nine lives, like a cat.

 I know about the "nine lives." "9" is a magical number for the ancient Egyptians, who deified cats. Nine career steps in the table of ranks of heavenly Angels. In Kabbalah, "nine" is a nonogram: a symbol of perfection, a compilation of three principles: divine, natural and human. In the ancient Faith, it is the Divine spark from which everything began. As the Bible says: "And there was evening and there was morning - one day" (Gen. 1:5).

- How do you know?

- A magpie brought it on her tail.

- Come on. Tell me.

- What are you interested in?

- How much?

- How much what?

- How much will you pay?

- We won't offend you, don't doubt it.

- Then spill the beans, what's the matter?

- I have a vacancy opening. Just right for you. We need an office director. We need to regulate the water problem in the Solar System. We have plenty of water, and in other places it's a desert. You'll decide who to add and who to turn down. You'll be sitting by the water tap. How do you like the prospects? A gold mine. A Klondike.

- And what's your connection to this?

- You see, I was appointed Chief Inspector in this area. Head of Security, to be completely clear. I identify spies, select personnel, keep an eye on everyone, punish, reward, and all that. The shadow government, you could say.

- And how did they find me?

- Your landlady, where you rent a room, reported. She is on the board of the Mahjong Lovers' Society. Discipline and conspiracy are above all. Who are you to us?

-  What do you think?

- A dark horse for now. No offence. We operate under the guise of the Society of Lovers of this ancient game. We have set ourselves the goal of colonizing the nearest planets of the Solar System and establishing a people's dictatorship there. A big purge is coming. You are with us, I hope?

-  Of course, you are still asking.

- Yes. How are you with mahjong? This is important. We all play after work. Mahjong was first mentioned in the Bible. When the Great Flood happened, mahjong distracted the passengers of Noah's Ark from seasickness. It is translated as "sparrow": the knocking of the tiles resembles the chirping of this bird; in China, it symbolizes intelligence. Can you imagine a sparrow - and intelligence? The Chinese have already appropriated Noah's Ark. How are you with games? Do you play?

- Mahjong?..

To tell the truth, mahjong is my element. Something between poker and dominoes but with an oriental spicy seasoning. My observation and ability to look into the dice of my opponents and intuitively predict their moves would do credit to the world champion. And as for excitement, I always have more than enough of it. But today, I have a different game, and I admit that I am not a beginner. Why? Let them think that they attacked a simpleton. The art of war says that to achieve success, you need to mislead the enemy.

- Then you are our man. I have always believed in you, Archibald!

Of course, I am yours if you desperately need me. But for what?

- Thank you for your trust, Batman! Isn't that too generous of you?

- Never mind, you will work it off, and we will not remain in debt. Thirty thousand?

I didn't answer Batman; I just thought that 30 thousand dollars in the Intergalactic Bank account was not bad at all. If you convert it into local currency, how much will it be? A million, perhaps. My God, I'm a millionaire. Even if everyday life appears before you in all its false glory, and there are more reasons to indulge in despondency than the last pessimist, you still can't give up. Tell yourself: I am the smartest and most resourceful... Like a hundred, no, like a thousand devils.