One Size Fits

Britney offered her friends a plastic container filled with cookies made ‘all by myself.’

Kerri held up her hand and shook her head. She’d tried the last and previous batches. Friend or not, there are limits.

Taylor sighed, picked one and eyed it as if examining forensic evidence. She felt Britney watching as she nibbled and suppressed a wince.

The three sat at their usual lunchtime table under the trees in the school patio. Lunch was almost over.

“I made them myself with my Easy Bake Oven,” Britney said.

Every time she brought cookies, which was often, Britney bragged about her oven. No one cared.

“Tell me again? How can you bake things in a toy oven with a lightbulb?” Kerri never got tired of this question.

“I told you it’s not a toy, Kerri. I have two of them now. Got another for my birthday. Someday I’ll open my very own bakery.”

Taylor said, “That’ll be a lot of lightbulbs.”

Kerri said, “But lightbulbs? Aren’t they illegal? Must take forever.”

“Patience is a virtue. I relish anticipating the first bite of each batch.”

“Yes, relish…”

Changing the subject, Taylor asked, “What do you think of our ‘fun’ journal project?”

Britney and Kerri made faces. Their Social Studies teacher, Ms. Ingram, had assigned a class project lasting a month. Designed to build ‘social cohesion,’ each student would document how they helped their classmates. The added ‘fun’ meant they earned points for their efforts. Highest achievers would win a prize.

Kerri said, “I’m not big on journals. Give me numbers any day.”

Taylor said, “Competing for who’s nicest…? ‘I’m nicer than you are…’”

“So, we get a prize? Help ourselves by helping others? Isn’t that selfish?”

“Earn extra points by donating your prize to someone more needy.”

They laughed.

Taylor continued, “It’s a group effort. Our pooled class’s points compete against other classes.”

“Same difference. I thought being nice is supposed to be its own reward. So, I get a gold star? Whoopie…”

Britney said, “We’ll ace it when we share my cookies with everyone. You can fix every problem with a cookie.”

Kerri thought, ‘Everything but quadratic equations.’

The class bell rang. Britney grabbed her things and ran. “I’d better get cooking… See you in class!”

Taylor slipped her half-eaten cookie onto the ground. ‘Starving birds need it. No point necessary.’

Kerri walked beside Taylor.

She said, “You don’t like her cookies. Do you?”

“They’re okay. But she always puts raisins in them… I’m not convinced cookies will save the world.”

“Pie maybe.”

“Well, of course. That would be my bet.” They laughed.

Kerri said, “I won’t be earning points handing out Britney’s little bricks. Most kids need math tutoring. What will you do?”

Taylor thought. “I don’t know… I don’t have a superpower like you do… I’m a good listener.”

“Who does that help?”

“Don’t know… What if people don’t want help? Do you lose points if they’re forced?”

“Yeah… ‘Let me help you or I’ll break your knees…’ Doesn’t add up.”

Kerri was the math genius of her class. Able to complete complex calculations in her head, other students held her in awe. It was a gift and a passion. She kept a data book on everything in her neighborhood. She noted how many trees grew on the street, the width of the lots, who owned the most cars, and so on.

In class, she announced her availability for math tutoring. Britney told everyone she had homemade cookies for them.

After class, Taylor approached James. “Hey, James…” He nodded at her. “I wonder if you’d answer some questions I have about our project.”

“Like?”

“Well, I’m curious. Do you feel you have to accept help you didn’t ask for?”

James thought for a moment. “Sometimes. I mean, it depends on who’s offering... A pretty girl…? Or the way they offer…”

“How do you feel if you say ‘no’?”

“Uncomfortable…”

“Does unwanted help make you feel less able? Or like you don’t have to try as hard?”

“Not if… Like if the coach gives me pointers on pitching or hitting, then no. But…”

“So, if it’s a skill you care about?”

“Yeah…”

“And he’s your coach so help from him is expected…”

“Right…”

“Thank you, James. That’s great.”

Taylor spoke with everyone she could and kept their answers in her journal.

 Britney met Kerri at her locker. “Taylor’s not helping.”

“What do you mean?”

“She’s undermining us. Telling people not to accept my cookies.”

“She wouldn’t do that. Maybe they just don’t want them.”

“Are you joking? No. She’s telling people to say ‘no.’”

“What if they don’t like your cookies?”

Britney balked at the question. “Kerri… That’s plain silly. How do you think of such ridiculous things? I thought you were smart…”

“Just a thought…”

“I need a cookie.” Britney pulled one of her confections from the plastic container and bit it in half. Her expression brightened as she chewed.

Later, Kerri approached James and offered help with his math skills.

“No thanks. I don’t need your help. My grades are good enough.”

“You have a ‘C’ in math.”

“So? I excel in other things. I don’t care about math.”

“I don’t believe this. Did Taylor talk to you?”

“Sure. We talk all the time. Why?”

“Never mind.”

Many similar reactions later, Kerri stalked off to find Britney. She stood by her locker eating a cookie. Kerri punched the locker in anger.

“You’re right, Brit...”

“I know.” She swallowed. “About what?”

“Taylor.”

“You have no idea. Get this. I peeked at her journal. She claims she’s helping everyone.”

“By keeping us from helping?”

“And she’s undercutting our point score by discouraging people from getting our help. And get this… She claims listening helps.”

“She’s such a phony. ‘Oh, I’m just curious…’”

“It’s meaningless! We could say we helped her by talking!”

“Well, I’m not talking to her.”

“Or we could make stuff up.”

“Here she comes.”

Taylor walked up to them. “Hi guys. What’s up?”

Britney said, “Don’t play innocent. We’re on to you.”

“What’re you talking about?”

“You don’t help anyone. You don’t do anything real. All you do is talk. Anyone can talk.”

“I listen…”

“Ooh, I’m a listener… Oh, there’s the bell. Do I get a point for listening to it…?”

Taylor looked at Kerri. “A little help? What is she…?”

“So, you want my help? After what you’ve been doing?”

“What am I doing?”

Britney practically lunged. “Telling people not to eat my cookies! That I made myself, with…!”

“I didn’t…”

Kerri said, “Oh, sure.” She turned on the snark. “Why would I want help with math? I don’t care about math…”

Taylor nodded. She understood. “Wait, guys. I don’t… You’ve got me wrong. I didn’t tell anyone to reject your help.”

“Yeah, right.”

“Wait… What if I offered to help you?”

“Now she wants to help us? How?”

“With a better cookie… Or a calculator…?”

The two girls stood with mouths open.

“My cookies are the best!”

“Calculators are cheating!”

“I know. Exactly. And congratulations… My point is, you don’t want my help. So, you’re saying ‘no.’”

“Of course...”

“So, how come you can say ‘no,’ but no one else can?”

Their heads swiveled to each other and back to Taylor.

They spoke as one. “Because we’re saying ‘no’ to you!”

Despite herself, Taylor laughed.

Kerri said, “You think you’re good at listening? Listen up…” She cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted. “No!”

Taylor said, “Can I have one of your cookies, Brit?”

“No!”

“Please Kerri, help me with math?”

“No!”

“Can I get you to say ‘no’?”

Britney said, “No!” And touched her mouth.

Kerri said, “Never!”

Grinning, Taylor looked at them both.

They looked at each other, and laughing, fell into a group hug.