A Shared Compass

First thing first, as a well experience dater, I have learned a few things; one being just each day, even if you have been on many dates (whether with the same person or different persons) there’s always the chance of something new to happen, two being just like the weather just because it says it’ll be sunny doesn’t mean rain can’t come, so always be prepared, and three being always pack light. To further explain three this really pertains to first dates/meetings, don’t expect a lot and keep it breezy. Three was where I was at when I and my date decided on meeting up for the first time. I did a thing I always laughed at others for doing and I myself never thought of doing. That particular thing was online dating, now I’m not one to put my nose up and drink caviar from a crystal glass, but just wasn’t my bag. Yet none the less on a bored night roughly two weeks ago, I had decided to do this, as it turned out my future date had decided on the same thing. Needless to say I tossed my bait out not expected the pole to move, I mean I hardly had luck in person to person, so how well could it be digital to digital? Well as usual with me, I was wrong and after throwing a “hi” to a particularly beautiful picture lady, in moments I had a reply.

Thus began our chats online, which lead to exchange of numbers, which lead to texts, which lead to talks on the phone, and a finalized day to meet. Upon our many texts and talks we discovered that we both were January babies; I on the 23^rd and she on the 27^th, roughly five years difference in our ages, though it didn’t matter to us. She informed me that of her plans to go out of town for her birthday, which I was doing the same, more of a day than a weekend considering I was stuck on the weekend shift, luckily a Saturday morning tread followed by a full Sunday run. We gave each other birthday wishes and enjoyed our birthday plans. Push forward to Sunday afternoon work and I get a much delighted text from my new found online dating site friend. She informed of her arriving back home and after a few long texts of birthday fun. I decided it was time to take the step, arranging a date. Seeing as she had just gotten in and I was in the grind, I ask if she would be available for a Tuesday date of Ice cream and chat. To my delight she agreed and we made plans where to meet.

As Tuesday came into present I was excited, yet hesitate about our meeting. I was the usual jitters of how it may go and so on. Most importantly was that I didn’t get lost. Now the vanity side of me started to come out as I was getting closer to the destination. Now I’m no Matthew McConaughey by any stretch and my pictures will vouch for it, but I do take myself as somewhat of a nice chap. Unfortunately a few dates recently had not been as the movie trailer promise, now I still committed to the date, but I didn’t stay around for the credits. So I was hoping that my billboard didn’t disappoint and hers was the reel I thought it was. As I hit my left turn signal in my white Chevrolet Malibu and turned into the plaza that consisted of the towns recently formed Movie Theater, along with a music shop attached to the left, snuggled right beside it a wine and art shop, and right in between the wine and art and decal shop, was the ice cream shop we were meeting at (technically a Italian ice cream shop). I identified the meeting place and proceeded to locate a blue S-10 Chevy truck with a pirate decal on the back. Sure as the sun shines rays there it was and her inside. As she spotted out my vehicle, she opens the blue door and stepped left foot and then right out and I let out a great breathe of relief as she looked like the image and better, Needless to say I knew from eye perspective, I was off to a good start. She waved at me and I at her as I pulled up beside her. I made sure my button up shirt was somewhat wrinkle free as I got out of my car. She stood beside her blue truck with nice fitting blue jeans to match with a Harley Davidson coat, and beautiful shirt to go along with a beautiful smile. We greeted each other with hellos and started to walk in as we continue to have our conversation. We asked each other what the other was getting as we waited in line. Suddenly with a burst of sweet energy she looks at me and tells me, “I bet you don’t know how to say my name.”

Note her name is spelled Tasha in her profile and I only knew of one way to say it, but as her profile stated, you were move that likely to say it wrong. So she was correct in her assessment, but I was eager to find out how she would say it. “Tasha,” she tells me. Now I know most are thinking Tosha, but the a is no o in this name. Both a’s are there to be heard and I loved it. She was beautiful and her personality so far was infectious. We got our desserts and sat down to talk some more. We carried on our discussion of Ice cream and names, when we started up on food, the usually of your favorites. I stated my love for the country staple of chicken and pastry, not dumplings, but pastr as we call it. I stated to her how if someone could make it handmade, I would marry them right then. She then looks at me with her searing smile and tells me, “I can make pastry from starch.”

At that moment I looked her in those beautiful brown bedroom eyes of hers and took her hands into mine and said, “Will you marry me?” to which she cheerfully said yes. That was it for me I didn’t want to end our date after ice cream, like I originally planned, no I wanted more time with this ray of sunshine that had just taken my half serious hand in marriage. As the fate’s would allow a movie happen to be just about to start up as we headed out. As the cards lined up, we both were interested in seeing the film. After a quick ticket purchase, along with a restroom stop, followed by mandatory popcorn and drinks, we found the auditorium and proceeded to our seats. As we settled in with popcorn and drinks, it happened, right out of the blue. We held hands and like a dead battery getting a jump, my heart skipped a beat and a spark took its place. To take a line from Mr. McMconaughey, I was feeling alright, alright, alright. We enjoyed the movie and each other’s company. Afterwards said our goodbye’s with a warm embrace of a hug and went our separate ways. With both of us agreeing that the date went better than we both anticipated; we arrange another meeting. This lead to me meeting her family and her mine; this also lead to my very thrilled mother stating that she would make her some beautiful grand babies. Tasha reply, “I know right.” She passed my mother’s scare test, but also was secretly hoping she would make her a grandma one day. Note I had already gave my dating companion a heads up to this and I like to thank the church who just had older members children(now grown and married) having kids to add to the congregation. My mother now thinking her 27 year old son may never give her that now, had rekindle hope.

We finally decided to make ourselves official sorta on one night when we were together, she text me if I was going to ask her to be my girlfriend, to which I cheekily gave her a note that said “Will you be my girlfriend yes or no?” To which she replied with a “maybe”. Needless to say she was also a hard one to figure out, but defiantly worth the time to try. Soon after that we became a couple, but needless to say it wasn’t smooth sailing for either of us. As much positive energy and good time we had with each other, the great uncertain weather would still show up. Disagreement, seemingly not enjoying each other’s company, only to turn around and want said company. Needless to say we had trouble reading the navigation's on our ship, holding our shared compass and neither one of us used to sharing one truly with somebody.

Now this continued one for a few more weeks and then the waters got really choppy. Fewer texts happened and even less positive energy was giving, till just like a sunny day with now clouds, and in comes in a storm and no one has a raincoat. The boat was clearly sinking and we both agreed it was best to abandon ship, before it gained water. Three weeks was my official benchmark for shortest relationship, but what a three weeks it was. Now we didn’t completely cut ties at first as we were both rowing in the same direction, but in short time I went my way and she went hers. By March we were just specks in each other’s eyesight’s. Three weeks of rowing I had received a call from her telling me she had accepted God in her life, I a devotee a year in, was thrilled to hear. Also in that same conversation she told me she was pregnant, which she clarified wasn’t caused by me. In my mind I put praise on, as this peter pan wasn’t ready to leave Neverland just yet. Side note I know I said I am a devotee, but I am not perfect by no means.  

So I proceed to congratulate her on both things and told her I was here for her if she needed anyone to talk too or just to be there. Well the weatherman is just a paid gambler who hopes he can be right at least four of the seven days of the week, because another sunny day turned into rain quickly and through some misunderstandings. We, meaning I decided it were best if we fully parted ways. She did to. This was caused by a night of going over to see her on the phone talking very cheerfully to someone else. I knew the line of questions, the talks, not to mention the lack of concentration on the present party. I didn’t take fond to this and proceed to conclude that this mystery person had probably been in the picture this whole time. Me feeling like I was playing court jester, did not appreciate it one bit, even after she told me my thoughts were wrong. Didn’t matter, I was done. I wrote it off on taxes of life and continued on (sorry mom, you’ll have to wait longer for a grand baby).

By April I was back out fishing again, this time the old fashion way, meeting people in person to start a kindle, me and online was done. I hung out with friends, went to concerts, worked, remember to sleep, flirt, go the movies, etc. I was living my life in the lane I was most used to, the single life lane. The only bump in this road was the consistent thought of one particular person, the only one I had really shared my life compass with. I knew that it was over and I had never been one to restart something again, but still she would appear in my mind. So I didn’t the least stalker thing and checked her social media status. Still the other one in the picture with her, I would then wander elsewhere. I continued on this pattern for quite some time, till one day a new picture of just her. Well I thought to myself, “Wouldn’t hurt to say hi, right?” Just like before I text a hello and left it as that.

“She won’t respond back,” I told myself.

Just like the on the dating site I got a hello back almost instantly. So just like that we were texting again, then talking again, and finally wanting to see each other in person again. This was a hesitant maybe for me. Not because I didn’t want to see her no, it was because I knew what would happen. I knew once we locked eyes that that would be it. So long young sailor you are now one with the mist, never will ever return back home. Now we had tried before and we couldn’t seem to share a compass, so how would this be any different?

“I’ll wait,” I told myself. And I did.

My navigation partner would continually ask me over and I would think of different reasons why I could not, till one day I ran out of reasons. It was Father’s Day weekend and they had just gotten back home from the beach. I finally decided to embark back to her home. The last time I made this drive it didn’t end so well, though this time I knew that it would be different. That’s why I was so hesitant, that’s why I was so nervous. A thousands questions running through my head and all I could do was to keep driving. I arrived at her house, the big pecan tree standing tall over the driveway giving a cool shade, Sherah walk up to me and greeted me like I was never gone. I walked up the same steps only months ago had stormed out on and I reached the door. With a deep breath and a fist raised, I knocked on the door. I was greeted by her dad, who told me to come on in. I sat down on the same couch I had sat with her and I waited. First her mom came out and told me she would be out soon. She had to see the nervousness on my face as she gave me a don’t worry smile. That didn’t stop my nervousness though or maybe it was just anticipation. I couldn’t tell, but whatever it was I knew that this was the cause of it…her. Finally she came out of the hallway; blue jean shorts a spaghetti shirt with a nice round baby belly underneath. She was beautiful and I still swear that she glowed as she walked towards me. I never believed in time stopping and all that, but in that moment I felt time had froze. All the nervousness, anticipation, and everything else were gone. All that was in my mind was how beautiful she looked and how she was going to be mine.

I was right, because I never did leave again and that little bun in the oven, we had both helped create. A nine pound and eight ounce baby boy came roughly four months later and by then we had learned to hold our compass better. We still had a lot to learn, but we understood each other better and we knew neither one of us wanted to leave the boat again. Soon I stopped going home all together as both our parents realized that it was better and safer (me returning home so late and tired) if I just stayed there. After all I was now not only sailing with her, we were also navigating this new life we helped bring into the world. A year later after a surprise proposal and some snags, we were married and had a new home to make our own. Oh and that online dating website, well we both left our testimony on there, touché site touché.

Now ten years together and almost nine years of marriage, along with another addition to our home; we have established quite a life for each other. While a lot of people still say my now wife’s name wrong, I always say it just right. Just like the first time she told me. 

A shared compass to our love story.